Dress Shopping Disappointment (sorry Long)

I am so sorry to hear you didn't have a great experience but I am glad to hear you went shopping again by yourself because that is what I was going to suggest. I'd keep looking and maybe try another bridal shop with different dresses. You don't have to settle on any dress that doesn't make you feel beautiful!

Aw honey! I’m sorry you had that experience... let me tell you, I was engaged before and went gown shopping with the entourage... it was a disaster! I think you were right to go it alone the second time, and I bet if you just do that once or twice more, you’re going to find a consultant who can really help you find something that will look great on your body!

This time I am going to peruse with one friend only who is also engaged. She’s been married before so neither of us feel the need to drag alongn a bunch of extraneous opinions! 😉

Did you have an idea before you went of what you wanted?

Next time you try on dresses, I would suggest going alone and talking with the consultant about the places you feel self conscious about. They may be able to find different fits and styles of dresses to help make you feel beautiful. If you want input from others, I would suggest going alone first and finding a few you like and then make another appointment and bring some close people with you to just show them the few you picked out. Or just do it by yourself and find one you love. Best of luck to you!

At the end of the day you have to be happy. It's your day love. Remember, you're beautiful and the man of your dreams is going to be at the end of that isle in awe at his beautiful wife. You wear the dress, the dress shouldn't wear you. That being said, don't try to please everyone else. It's your day. No one is going to hate you for picking something else. If you aren't comfortable in that dress, don't get it. You don't want to look back at your wedding pictures and think about the what ifs. Everyone is going to love what you pick. Make sure you are the one who's happy. Don't let anyone pressure you. And tell them that they can look at dresses for themselves another day, or after you find yours. This is your day to shine. You and your future husband are the stars of the show, everyone else is just background to make your day special. As bad as that sounds, I'm sorry. But you and your hubby are the ones to be celebrated. Tell them that you will set up a day for everyone to find their dresses. Today is just for you. Or, after you find your dress then have them look. Then they can see how they will look standing beside you one your special day. Feel beautiful! Because you are beautiful! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. And if you aren't into the princess look, the fit and flare style is amazing!!! I'm a mom and when i tried on this style, my mom body was no longer something I was self conscious about hope this helps. Good luck hun!! xoxo

Even though you are a crowd pleaser you need to do this for yourself. If you are self conscience wait till you find the one that YOU will be comfortable in on YOUR day. This is all about YOU and your fiance. He will love you no matter what you choose. Also you need to stop anyone from pushing you because they will continue to do it the rest of your life. You have to stop it now or you will feel miserable. They will respect you for it in the end. Hope this helps

I feel like every dress regret post I see on here starts with something like "I bought this dress that (someone shopping with me) loved but now I'm sad because *I* don't love it"

I think you were right to go back by yourself, your opinion is the one that matters here!

That is a terrible experience. I went shopping by myself. I didn't want all of the conflicted opinions. I know my mother would be very judgmental. I will take a few when I go for my 2nd fitting that way my dress is mine and they can't change my mind. Good luck on your dress hunt.

I am so sorry that your experience went this way. This is why I only took my mom. I would take one person whos opinion you value the most!

I'm SO glad you went alone, definitely try going alone again and try something other than DB that has dresses in your price range, they may have different selections that you'd never even consider.

Definitely tell your consultant about the areas you're self conscious about. She'll be able to help find a dress that accents the parts of you that you love and mask the ones you don't. I hate my stomach and thighs (which, long dresses you never need to worry about thankfully!) I found a dress that's shaped up top, but not tight, so it hid my stomach and accented my curves instead.

Going to the gym will help, but also try to love yourself for who you are. Focus on the parts you DO like so when you do find a dress that accents those parts, you'll be able to focus on that.

As for your FMIL, just tell her "I do not want that dress, and I would appreciate it if you'd stop pushing me to buy it."

You still have a full year too, so you've got plenty of time to look still. I'm getting married in August and got my dress in October. The salon let me take it home that day too, and now I'm just waiting for some lace to come in so we can sew it onto the front (It's more low-cut than I'm comfortable with!)

Good luck! I know you'll find a dress you adore and feel BEAUTIFUL in!

(And if you end up going with a more princess-like dress, Princesses don't have ages

I always thought shopping with an entourage of women was ridiculous. I have always hated shopping with other people anyway. If I'm shopping for them, I'm a great companion. If I'm shopping for me, I go solo. Don't be derailed by some fantasy that your family and friends will surround you and ooh and ahhh at every dress. From what I've seen on the few bits of wedding shows I've seen, it usually turns into a sh*t show. Go yourself and let the saleswoman guide you. Once you narrow it down to 2 or 3, if you feel you absolutely must have another opinion, show them pictures of you in the choices. You can always post pictures here and you'll get honest opinions.

Besides the dress itself, it sounds like there's a whole lot of stuff going on that has nothing to do with a wedding dress. If you're FMIL is stressing you out over the dress, just tell her you haven't made a decision and while you appreciate her input, you'll let her know if you need her help. If she pushes again, call her up or tell her face to face, that you would appreciate not talking about the dress anymore.

As for your own body image issues, that can't be fixed in a forum of strangers. Consider seeking out some therapy to deal with those issues so they don't cloud your decisions and continue to affect your life in negative ways.

This is supposed to be a super happy time in your life - don't let it get away from you.

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Hi thank you so much for the kind advice you posted in my discussion about dress shopping disappointment. I saw your dress and it is gorgeous!!! And you look amazing in it. I feel we have similar body types. May I ask where you got your dress? Designer? Price? Just feel I should try on something like that. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I agree with previous posters, it was a great idea to go back alone. I'm so sorry you had a poor experience. I think going alone, or maybe taking one friend with you would be the best option. It is not about finding the dress everyone else likes the best, it's about finding the dress you like the best and feel the best in.

My advice is don’t settle & go alone. I went alone to get my wedding dress. So I can feel more comfortable & be able to think to my self.
what you can do after you find the one YOU love, you can A) pay for it and then show them when it comes to picking up the gown. Or B)Try it on, sleep on it and take them to another appointment when you’re ready to buy.

At the end of the day, you are the one who is getting married and paying for you own dress. Get something you love & makes you feel beautiful or sexy.
& lastly be open minded!

Hope pe this helps!

I hated dress shopping, with a group, without a group and I I hated it all.
I disliked everything I tried on, I hated the whole thing, I felt like I was on display and I was suppose to have all these emotions because it was my wedding dress.
At the end of it all, I found a dress I liked more than any of the others I tried on. I decided to get it when I didn’t want to take it off.
You will find a dress and feel beautiful, I promise! Sometimes it’s about figuring out what you want vs. what looks best on you.
Would you take FS shopping? They don’t necessarily need to see the whole outfit but it might be good support.

My advice is Amazon!! Totally not the center of attention person and honestly I think DB lacks the personal touches that contribute to these fantasized saying yes to the dress things. Several stores have gorgeous dresses and I got mine for 59 bucks, tried it on myself first and then privately for my parents.

Another vote for shopping solo. Even with just one other person, it was messing with my head.

My suggestion would be to give styles you never considered before a shot. I had a couple styles I thought I really wanted, but when I tried them on, they absolutely did not work with my body type. I started to branch out & try different styles & totally surprised myself.

Also, I went to two different DB locations & the same dress looked completely different at each place. The lighting is garbage & I’m convinced they have funhouse mirrors in there.

Good luck! Stay true to what you want!!!

I'm so sorry you had that experience. My mother was similar when I took her, and was not subtle about her dislike of EVERYTHING I tried on. You were really smart to go alone the second time. I'm sure no matter what you pick, your fiance will be completely wow-ed and will love it all the same!

I’m sorry to hear your experience was not ideal. I understand the frustration of trying to please others. Before you go out to show others, if you choose to go with others, look in the mirror and decide all the things you do and don’t like about the dress. It might help you focus on what you like and want.

I’m sorry it was not a good experience. If you can, I suggest finding a boutique specializing in plus sizes, if you need plus. In some cases, it’s not even large plus sizes but 10 or 12 and over. At least to try on and have a consultation. Some also have reasonably priced dresses. I went to one and it made all the difference! Also, the right undergarments make a huge difference! Some bridal shops lend you the right bra to try. I also agree with Kristina above—treat yourself with love. You are the person your FS loves, and you are beautiful just as you are. Remind yourself of that! Try to find a specialty salon and then treat yourself to a pampering day. Get your nails done, or just treat yourself to an at home spa day before going. Get prettied up and wear something you feel good in. Give yourself the experience you want and get the dress you love! It’s out there!

So many hugs for you!

I LOVED shopping alone, I highly recommend it. I was getting discouraged too...as a plus size woman (also with a large bust), I felt like I would never find anything that fit or didn't make me look ginormous. I sought out boutiques that carried a wide selection of sizes.

Bottom line is YOU have to be happy with your dress, no one else. It sounds like your FMIL is making you question just more than the dress. You have a vision of what you want your wedding to be and you should be true to that. You can thank her for her input but it needs to be clear that the decision is up to you.

Don't give up!