Dress code insert wording

Eek I don't even know what a chapel veil is! I think it's best to be direct. I feel like if you don't state this plainly, some people may not think it's required.

I think you are actually being a good host by communicating this. Personally, I don't think it is rude to provide people with the information they need in order to make the personal choice to be culturally sensitive or to meet relevant social expectations. l like your phasing for "Out of respect for the Church's traditions..."; it sounds very elegant. You could add "we encourage guests to select attire..." or something along those lines. I agree with PP that it is best to be direct, so that guests who are unfamiliar with norms and traditions will know what to expect and can plan accordingly. I might add photos of what you are specifically referring to, what you are providing, and maybe give them a link to look up for themselves what you are describing.

Maybe have this info on website with pictures

View Quoted Comment I agree with this, the wording you have is good for the insert. If you have a wedding website I would include a section with pictures, that way you have a place to direct people who have more question.

It is not for a host to set a dress code. It is, however quite proper to let people know that for a religious service in your church, the church requires modest forms of dress, the things you mentioned. Fine. Sometimes venues set restrictions for safety, as in no heels, either on outdoor rough walking places, or slippery floors. And it is also fine to say, a historic build preservation policy prohibits the wearing of high heels, or black rubber soles. What is considered impolite, is when hosts set arbitrary restrictions to suit themselves, whether everyone should wear a certain color, or not wear one, or come in costume to something like a wedding, as a request or a requirement. Guests are not supposed to have to make hosts' visions come alive, and it is rude to ask. What you want is quite appropriate to put on an insert. It shows a respect for Church beliefs while in the church.

Thanks for the advice! Glad to know people probably won't think I'm rude for mentioning it. I don't know if we're going to do a wedding website; I don't think most of the people we're inviting would visit one. I may put a little graphic on the insert, though. I've seen signs at parishes like that illustrating what needs to be covered.

I grew up catholic never wore something covering my head or heard of a chapel veil.

View Quoted Comment It is both an ethnic and generational thing. My MIL and virtually all of the older women at mass do in her NYC parish. Up where I live, the only ones who do are tourists who come for services while there, and usually don a lace mantilla, or scarf of a dark chiffon. It is an old testament thing, why Orthodox Jewish women and men, and many Muslims do it, why all portraits of the Virgin Mary have her head covered.

View Quoted Comment It's an old school thing. Back when Mass was only in Latin, the ladies all wore something on their head. Depending on the fashion where they were, it could have been a hat or a mantilla veil. It changed in the 1960s after Vatican 2. The wedding will be at an SSPX parish, so they still do things the old way, with the Latin and the headwear.

I think "Out of respect for the Church's traditions..." is enough for people to start planning to dress accordingly.

Be direct. It’s easy to misinterpret something like that.

View Quoted Comment

Agreed - it's improper etiquette to tell guests what to wear, UNLESS restricted by a venue.

OP, I like that you have an insert that states "modesty and reverence" guidelines and dress code. If you're asking what to say, I like

"Out of respect for the Church's traditions, ceremony attendees are expected to wear:

- Men a suit or slacks and a tie.

- Women a modest dress or formal pantsuit, avoiding anything that shows a lot cleavage or leg, and bare shoulders should be covered with a shawl or bolero jacket. Additionally, a head covering is expected and will be provided.

For additional information please visit our website or contact our parish at XXXXXXX"

Or something... does that help?