Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Amber
Just Said Yes March 2024

Dress code for wedding?

Amber, on November 7, 2022 at 12:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
My fiance and I are thinking of asking everyone to wear all black at our wedding, do you think guests will respect our request?


We recently attended a wedding where the bride asked guests to wear neutrals colors, and not alot of people followed her request. My thought is that most people have an all black outfit of some kind so it might be an easier request.

20 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on November 23, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This will really depend on your crowd. Personally, I would be a little annoyed if I was asked to wear specific colors, even if black. I’m an adult and can appropriately dress myself for an event without being told what colors to wear. A lot of people actually dislike wearing black to a wedding, as they view it as being unsupportive of the union and more appropriate for a funeral. At the end of the day, you can request but just as you saw with that other wedding, guests don’t have to follow that request.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Champion December 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Many social circles frown on this. A dress code is casual, semi formal/cocktail, black tie. Asking or dictating guests to wear specific colors is turning guests into props, which is overstepping. Not all female guests have black dressy clothes and some don’t feel that black is appropriate at weddings
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I agree with Hannah on all points. I also think men will have a harder time finding both black top and bottoms. The easiest to find may be a black concert t-shirt. For women, not everyone has a black dress. If you're having a casual event, then you can encourage black with no expectations. But really if it was a casual wedding, then you would allow your guests to wear their own choice of clothes. Most adults wear the same outfit to weddings. Being asked to buy new clothes will not go over well.

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes January 2023
    Abigail ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    My mother recently attended a wedding where they said “wear a costume or dress like you’re going to a funeral” and I believe nearly everyone wore black! I think it made it easier for my mom and her husband to choose something to wear, haha. I think it could be fun to have a color for everyone to wear, but people could also forget. 😊
    • Reply
  • Janet
    Expert October 2018
    Janet ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I dislike this trend because not everyone will have the dress code attire in that color. So I may have a formal black dress, but not necessarily a black cocktail dress, and may have a perfectly fine emerald green dress. Remember these are your guests, not props. Do you want photos of guests or colors?

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Don't use guests as photo probs. It's not fair to require people to go get something they may not be able to afford just to attend.

    • Reply
  • M
    Expert July 2023
    Michele ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Personally, I would not like anyone dictating my attire. But, that's just me. Individuality is hugely important and I don't believe we should force our wills onto others. However, you've got a bridal party that signed up to respect your wishes.
    • Reply
  • Mrs.evans
    VIP October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Nowadays ppl just dismiss what the couple or bride wants we didn't want any small children at our wedding because. Hearing kids in the background while the ceremony was in motion or the parents moving about and not enjoying themselves. So half of our wishes half were honored so you have to put this on your invitations. So will only our on there besides when and where just on them. Black Attire only
    • Reply
  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Personally I think asking for people to wear a specific color is overstepping. Not everyone may feel comfortable in black. If you would like black colors incorporated to your wedding, I’d suggest just looking to bring it more into the decor of your venue and have your bridesmaids in black.
    • Reply
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    This is not a reasonable request. Not everyone has something that fits their body, suits the formality, and flatters them in black. Guests are not bridal party members. They shouldn't have to pay for new attire to fulfill your vision.


    Unlike what PP alluded, there is a huge difference between not inviting kids and asking guests to wear a certain color. I agree a lot of men may not have black dress shirts. It's not common. And some men may only have one or 2 suits, neither of them black
    You're either going to have annoyed guests or guests who don't comply
    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes February 2023
    Amber ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I believe if you have a theme and you communicate that properly people will dress accordingly. If you don't communicate it to everyone or they don't believe it's a "themed" event then you may have trouble.
    • Reply
  • Brooke_Frhlich
    Savvy May 2023
    Brooke_Frhlich ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I just went to my cousin's wedding, and she requested dark colors. Most people wore black or dark greens and maroons. I would probably make the same request, as it offers people more flexibility in what they may already own while maintaining the color scheme/mood that you're looking for. Also if men wear dark suits (which is usually what they own if they own a suit at all), then whatever shirt they're wearing shouldn't impact the overall feel as much. More traditional people may grumble about being told what to wear when they get the invites, but usually none of that will get back to you. Also including two adjacent dress code formalities (e.g. my cousin requested semi-formal/formal) can open people's wardrobe options. Also, in my opinion, darker colors tend to seem more formal, so I feel like a black cocktail/semi-formal dress wouldn't seem out of place next to a black formal dress.

    • Reply
  • A
    Just Said Yes November 2022
    Alisha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    All in all, it's YOUR wedding. If you want your guests to wear black, then do it! My wedding is November 19th and we have asked all our guest to wear black. We are only having about 50 people there, but am still expecting some to not follow the dress code. If people don't want to come to your wedding because you are asking them to wear a certain color, than I don't think you'd want them there anyway!

    • Reply
  • K
    Super September 2023
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I wouldn’t personally be offended by this. Most people already know to expect a dress code. As others have said, you could make it a little more expansive by requesting dark colors, but a lot of people now are doing themed weddings that include guest outfits. I would just be prepared for someone to miss it/forget, and I would sprinkle reminders in different places that people might see it. You might also announce your theme at the same time as the dress code as a fun way to get your guests on the same page and make them feel less like they’re being controlled just because.
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Master October 2023
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I don’t see anything wrong with suggesting or requesting a specific color being worn (after all, “white parties” and “pink parties” have been a thing forever, and nobody gets offended). I would just be prepared for some people to not follow the suggestion/instruction.
    • Reply
  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I'm sure I'm the minority, but I wouldn't attend a wedding if I was asked to wear black. I look awful in black. I wouldn't want to wear a different color and stick out like a sore thumb, so I would just stay home.

    • Reply
  • Taniesha
    Savvy July 2023
    Taniesha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Like others stated knowing your audience will make all the difference here. As for myself I absolutely hate anytime a dress code is attempted to be enforced no matter how subtle. I consider not going for that reason and sometimes I don’t.
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Just Said Yes April 2023
    Nicole ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Yes, I think black is a color that many people already have in their closets. And if not, its a flattering color on everyone, plus they can re-wear the black dress/suit/shirt.

    I am asking my family to wear black (I think it's elegant!) Some of them were all for it, and some of them told me black isn't their first choice. But that's why is a request, you probably won't get 100% participation.

    I hope everyone honors your simple request if you chose to do the dress code!

    • Reply
  • L
    Dedicated January 2026
    Ladyray ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    People like flexibility. Bearing that in mind, REQUESTING that people wear ALL BLACK is okay, but not everyone will follow that. It depends how well you know your attendees to follow such formalities. You’ll know if you should expect, say a specific cousin to be all for it or totally against it more than any of us here would.


    So I hope you know which of your favorite people are willing to not respect it so that your expectations aren’t set too high, if it wasn’t realistic for that person you had to invite out of formality/obligation. Otherwise, as long as it’s stated on everything that your guests use as a way to inform them of wedding details (invitations, wedding website, or your personal phone number) - the only way they could mess it up is by not having an outfit that made them feel confident, or not having read your wedding event guidelines.
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    You know, I think the easiest way to get all black is to have a black-tie or black-tie optional wedding: tuxedos and black/dark gowns or cocktail dresses. All other wedding details must correspond to this formality though. If you're unwilling to request this of guests, then how is it different from requesting any other dress code?

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Explore how we embrace diversity

Groups

WeddingWire article topics