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Just Said Yes June 2019

Dreading the Wedding

Sarah, on June 5, 2019 at 12:04 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 8

So our wedding is ten days away....and I am absolutely dreading it. I've been nervous beginning about a week ago, but now that it's getting this close I am 100% regretting going through with the big wedding deal. Of course I want to marry my FH, and I'm excited about being married to him. But I hate everything about the actual wedding event. I absolutely hate being the center of attention, I hate people looking at me, I hate speaking in front of people, I hate dancing, I generally hate socializing unless it's with very small groups of people I know really well. And here I am going to walk down the aisle in front of 150 people, like 125 of whom I barely know, and I am going to be miserable the entire day from start to finish. There's not a single thing I'm looking forward to and it's horrible! I wish I could just wake up the day after the wedding and have everything be over.

Then I feel bad because my FH is super excited for the wedding, and I know I'm probably going to be in a bad mood the entire day because I hate everything that's happening, and it'll end up ruining his day, too.

How can I possibly cope with this anxiety and dread for the next ten days, and then at the wedding itself?!


Latest activity by Sarah, on June 7, 2019 at 2:32 PM
  • Emly
    Expert June 2020
    Emly ·
    • Flag

    DRINK Smiley xd

    LOL I can only imagine how your feeling, and im so sorry. I honestly think I will be feeling similar to how your feeling on my big day but I'm going to do it anyway.. I imagine i'm just going to focus on my FH and my best friend and just try to fight though the anxiety and my antisocial self. Good Luck girl, try to enjoy yourself! Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
    • Flag
    Take a moment to breath and think about it. Pick something to be excited for about the wedding. The food? A signature cocktail? Wearing your dress?

    I know it's hard but try to take a moment for some mindless exercises. If you go in thinking your going to he miserable you probably will be. You can trick yourself by forcing yourself to think about the things around the day that make you happy rather than the ones that cause negative emotions.

    Last bit of advice is to talk with you fiancee about set breaks or a safe word, that allow you to do a quick disappear for a couple minutes, to catch your breath and reset away from all the people (you can't do it too often but a few statistic ones may help you relax).
    • Reply
  • Deaddorothy
    Dedicated June 2019
    Deaddorothy ·
    • Flag
    My wedding is this Sunday and I feel similar. I’m very nervous about things like walking down the aisle and saying my vows, as well as first dances etc. I’m also nervous that all my planning will go haywire. But I’m trying to go with the flow. I tell myself that most people don’t want to see you embarrassed on your wedding day and that they are all happy and excited for you. That the only person that can ruin my day is me and how I take everything in. So I think it helps to just be positive and be excited for something even if that one thing is for it to be over haha. You’ve planned this wedding now it's up to you to enjoy it. You got this! Forget everyone else and focus on FH and how happy he is and how happy you are you are getting married! That’s the take home at the end of the day.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    First off, hello date twin!
    Second, I know it can be overwhelming because it is a lot of people and attention.
    I think the day will go by fast though if you try to think of it in other ways. Maybe instead of thinking "oh my god I'm dreading seeing all these people at once" you can think "I'm looking forward to seeing some people I haven't seen in a while"
    If you can stick with your groom or a bridesmaid or whomever you're comfortable with through most of the night then it should be ok Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • OnCloudRawls
    VIP June 2019
    OnCloudRawls ·
    • Flag
    Hi Date Twin! I'm getting anxious about certain parts of the big day too, but I'm taking it all in a little bit at a time and just breathe. Wine is going to be with me for sure.
    • Reply
  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
    • Flag

    I definitely concur with the 'setting breaks' thing. Find moments when you and your (now husband) can escape and just enjoy each others company. That give you time to both soak in what you've enjoyed and de-stress about what was too much for you.

    Any large event, I have a few people that have the 'safe word.' This has included my mother-in-law and best friend. You usually have one of the three people near you: mother, MOH or husband. Have them all know the 'safe word' to get you out of there when you need a moment above any beyond your private moments.

    The hardest part for me was the socialization the week before the wedding - when everyone started staying in the area. I was worried they would try to monopolize my time then and leave me with no energy for the actual wedding! Despite driving me crazy most of the planning) my sister was amazing at helping with this! She helped keep everyone else busy in the downtime.

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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
    • Flag
    Think good thoughts! You're already setting yourself up for a hard day with negative messages. Like Pp's said, are there things you're looking forward to? Music, honeymoon, etc. Try to find a safe spot to chill for a few minutes if you feel overwhelmed. Let FH do most of the talking. Come up with a phrase to let FH and BP know you need a break.
    Everything will be ok. It's going to be a fabulous wedding and you are marrying your love.
    I have social anxiety myself and it takes a lot out of me to do gatherings. It's important to not decide how it will go. We cant know the future. Let the unknown be the unknown. Best wishes and congratulations!
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    I've been trying to think of some positives all week, coming up with almost nothing - and now, it's going to rain on the wedding day! So I'm really feeling like I can't do this at this point. How can I get out of this tactfully???

    • Reply

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