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Just Said Yes August 2019

Drama/rant

Lauren, on July 11, 2019 at 9:03 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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So this is just a little rant about what I think is too much drama from FH’s aunt. First, I should mention that a couple years ago at her house during a Christmas party she poked me in the stomach with her finger and said “What’s this? What are you two gaining weight together?!” Yep. So imagine my feelings toward her to begin with. Now she has been a widow for 10+ years and 3 years ago brought a drunk to future SIL’s destination wedding and he behaved horribly. There has been no one she’s dated really since then. She apparently started dating someone in April (our wedding is in August) and when she saw her invite didn’t include a plus one asked FH’s mom about it. I was then told I had to give her a plus one. I was annoyed, but fine. Then I hear her on the phone tell my FH “I’m not sure if I’m bringing anyone or not, I’ll let you know.” And her brother, FH’s uncle, told FH she was breaking up with him about 3 weeks ago. She texted FH yesterday morning, it will just be her. Then HOURS later texts back she needs the plus one, he will be coming, but she will let us know if it changes. Are you for real lady?! Is it just me or is this just absolutely ridiculous and rude? Her entire family will be there, she does not need a date, especially a flaky one!!! Ugh!! Anyone had similar experiences? Am I overreacting because I dislike her to begin with?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Blag, on July 24, 2019 at 6:18 PM

Master January 2019
FutureMrsKC · on July 11, 2019 at 9:29 AM
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Definitely not over-reacting. You have a SUPER valid reason to dislike her not only because of how she treated you but because of her attitude in general.
I see your wedding is next month, when are RSVP's due? I'd give her a plus one to please her, but once RSVP's are due if she doesn't have someone then she doesn't get someone. No changes come that time.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 11, 2019 at 9:31 AM
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Reasonably upset. I'd say no plus one but because you already sent it you have until the rsvp deadline. Don't budge after that
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Just Said Yes August 2019
Lauren · on July 11, 2019 at 9:38 AM
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Thank you for the validation! RSVPs are due Aug. 1. As of now she is bringing someone, but if she changes her mind again I will not add it for her again.
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Super October 2020
Fmv · on July 11, 2019 at 10:21 AM
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Omg this is annoying. Have fh put his foot down and tell her we need to know for sure by × date to tell us if you are having a plus one or not, and that nothing can be changed after that date. It seems like its better to not give her a plus one so theres no uncertainty. She sounds like a pill, thats super rude that she poked your stomach and said that....that would definitely put me off as well when it comes to her. Would love to hear what you chose to do!
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Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on July 11, 2019 at 1:22 PM
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She sounds annoying for sure because she has offended you in the past, now she's having lover's problems and doesn't realize or care that it's impacting your planning.. you aren't overreacting. I would tell her straight up that of she changes again, that count will be final and no further changes will be allowed. Don't put up with her nonsense or anyone's for that matter.
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WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
Sinéad · on July 17, 2019 at 7:26 AM
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Hey Lauren! I’m sorry that you are having to go through this.
As the pp’s mentioned, you should give her the RSVP deadline the same as all of your other guests. The answer she gives you on the day the RSVPs are due will have to be her final answer. You can simply explain to her that that is the last day for final confirmation with your vendors and there is no room for her to change her mind after that date. This is a completely fair and reasonable deadline to give her.
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Beginner December 2019
· on July 17, 2019 at 7:40 AM
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I would tell her no there are RSVP deadlines for a reason. No one is going to tell me I HAVE to give them a plus one. Weddings are expensive, if he wants to go bring a chair and a sandwich. Lol
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Dedicated August 2019
Blag · on July 24, 2019 at 6:18 PM
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Yup kinda dealt with that. Her rsvp deadline is when? Tell her that she has until a certain time and that if she isn’t sure about him then she should bring s close friend that she knows will come. I hate giving plus ones to those that aren’t married because you never know they could break up or be off and on and it’s just not cool to go back and forth like that. I’d say no you already rsvp’ed and you already paid your vendor or something. We told fiance’s Aunt that because she didn’t rsvp by the deadline as given to everyone numerous times with very clear communication of what would happen. We told her she could show up but it’s not guaranteed that she will be able to sit and eat, etc. We can’t just change things around like that at their convenience.
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