Drama with my father

I mean, this is really rough. Honestly. But if your dad is in a relationship he should be invited with his girlfriend. That's what etiquette would say. I completely hear where you are coming from though. This situation is tricky to navigate.

Wow, I'm sorry this is happening so close to your day! Honestly, I know this stinks, but unless he asks you and gives you the opportunity to say no, it sounds like he's going to do what he wants. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. Have a Plan B for if she shows up (make sure that squeezing her in can happen without a lot of hassle and attention) because it'll be out of your control at this point. Be mentally prepared for it so if it does happen, you aren't shocked and mortified on such a big day.

On your wedding day, try to keep the focus on you and your FH. There's going to be so much celebration and joy in the air, that maybe it can ease some of the tensions. Whether or not the potential for drama is there, everyone should recognize that it's your special day

Forgot to mention that my wedding is on a military installation and every guest needs to be on the list (they had to do background check for everyone) I turned in- so I’m afraid that if he does end up bringing a girl, they will tell him she can’t come on base and he’ll get mad and not even come by himself..

I'm really sorry and even though I know technically according to Etiquette if someone's in a relationship, you should respect that. But if he's kind of cereal dating right now, I kind of disagree with the whole plus one in that case. Kind of like the others have said I would just let him bring her and maybe they'll be together by time to wedding captains and maybe not. He just needs to be aware that she won't be included in any of the pictures.

You mention you need to be in the guest list, I’m assuming when you invited him he didn’t have a plus one. So there’s no reason to extended that now. If he was dating for a while and asked they would be different.


He’s not going to be lonely, your whole family will be there.

Nope nope nope nope. My dad had his moments right after the divorce too - just nope. I think you should call him and explain that this wedding is not about him or your mother. This wedding is about you and your spouse. Ask if he intends to bring someone. If he says yes, you can say that this wedding is not the time or the place for her to be introduced, especially so soon after a messy divorce. Explain that while the relationship may indeed go the distance, you don't know this lady and don't want her to be causing drama when a wedding is stressful enough already. A couple should technically be invited as a pair, but a freshly dating couple with a lot of drama potential - will your mom's side really be able to keep hands and words to themselves or vice versa even? - is just asking for issues. I wouldn't "wait for him to ask". If he asks why you're asking him, you can say you need him to know that you firmly don't want him causing a ruckus on the one day for you and your spouse and thus you felt like you needed to reiterate that he needs to behave.



Buuuut be prepared for him to disregard and do what he's going to do. I'd attempt one more time to show him the light, then you deal with it as you see fit. Stand strong girl! Your day will be amazing no matter what.

Dad is lonely. Too bad. Suck it up for one night and act like a grown up. He needs to come alone as a few weeks is not a relationship. And you have perfect excuse.

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I would agree with this. Also, if you already had to submit names for background checks, there is your reason! She wasn't on the list when you submitted it and you can't change it now (regardless of if you actually can).

So my dad finally asked me about this current girl. I explained the situation and this time he seemed to accept it. I told him that I had to turn in my list of non-military guests last month (he wasn't seeing someone then) and that they told me it would take about 3 weeks to vet everyone.

I am so relieved he didn't try to guilt trip me this time...

Thanks for the advice/thoughts everyone!

My parents are divorced so I’m not allowing either of them to bring someone. I think it makes it less messy to have neither bring dates. It’s probably rude but I don’t care, like a pp said, the wedding isn’t about them.