Drama with bridesmaid (so rare on this forum...i know)

I think if she is in the wedding party she should have had a plus one to begin with dating or not. But that's just my opinion. Maybe you do need to reach out to her and just let her explain to you? If she is a good friend of yours then you should be willing to just hear her out.

I think just giving her the option to bring someone is good.

I know it may be hard but if she is wanting to talk on the phone, that would prob be the best way to put all that to an end.

I think you should have given her a plus one from the start if you gave her ex-husband one, however since you said she can bring whoever she wants, she shouldn't be upset. Just talk to her on the phone and try not to get too angry or say anything you shouldn't

Why would you give the ex-husband a +1 but not her? But to answer your question, you gave her the option of bringing a date and that should be good. If you don't feel comfortable talking to her over the phone then perhaps you can tell her that you'd rather not discuss this anymore right now due to all that is going on w/ planning and the stress that comes w/ it. try to keep attitude at bay and hopefully she will be ok.

Well, what's done is done. No point in saying you should've given her one, not to mention you did ... maybe she's not really mad, but hurt and/or disappointed. Avoid the drama and be an adult about it. Just talk to her on the phone- you can say, "I am sorry you are hurt because I didn't give you a +one. That was kinda stupid/thoughtless/insensitive (whatever adjective you choose) of me, and I am really sorry. I want you to have fun at the wedding and if you have someone special to bring, I'd love to meet him/her"

done. no drama.

I know it's a super stressful time and the last thing you want to deal with is this, but sometimes we have to pull our big girl pants up and do what needs to be done, even when it stinks! Easier said than done, though!

good luck!!

It's better to handle issues by speaking on the phone or in person rather than over text. Since you heard through the grapevine that she was mad instead of directly from her it's possible things were blown out of proportion, or perhaps your text came across as abrasive (one of the problems with conversing over text). It sounds like she's doing the adult thing and wanting to discuss the matter to clear the air and make sure there are no misunderstandings or hard feelings.

Since she's a bridesmaid she must be someone close to you and someone whose relationship you value. Blowing her off when she wants to talk about things could cause damage to the relationship. Do you plan on avoiding her indefinitely just because you don't want to have what may end up being a difficult conversation?

I'm not giving people plus ones unless they are in a long term relationship. But like you, if I had a friend make a big stink, I would probably let them have one. For the sake of your friendship, you should get on the phone with her. If you feel your emotions coming out, just remember that your job is to hear her out, not to defend yourself. Once she has said her piece, you can say something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you felt that way. Of course you can bring a plus one to the wedding."

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Yeah she has a new boyfriend as of a few months, definitely was not on my radar but I texted her that she could bring someone if she wants. She still wants to talk on the phone but hasn't called yet...she says she's busy all week (if it was important she would call me you know?)

I am most hurt that instead of talking to me directly she told other bridesmaids behind my back at the bachelorette party.

I am also worried she is just bringing her new boyfriend to show off to her ex (she told this to bridesmaids) and this will create drama at my wedding.

I am trying to be understanding but I hate drama and do not think she was mature at all about going about this and am worried about the maturity level at my wedding...

Maybe she thought that the others would keep her confidence, and that is part of why she wants to have a talk. Don't avoid talking with friends. Feeling ignored is awful. Talk happy talk, as friends do. Reassure her you meant no slight. Simply, you did not know she is seeing someone, but gave invitations to those you knew had SO. Now she has told you about her boyfriend, you have corrected the oversight. There is no drama. But if you avoid her and won't talk, she will think you have an issue. Most brides I know have someone whose recent SO they do not know about. Or send an invitation to someone's SO of 5 years, who moved out many months ago. It is not a big deal.

Neeva,

First of all a "friend" does not talk crap behind another friends back. That right there is a big. NO No for me personally because I have been down that road and I won't put up with it going forward. This "friend" sounds a little petty to me. I am assuming when you sent out invites she was still single which is why she didn't her a plus one. If she is now dating I am also assuming that it has only been a few months. If that is the case you are not obligated to giving a plus one on something that was already done. In the case of the other friend who received a plus one. Again I am assuming you already had knowledge that there is a potential plus one which is why you gave him one.

I don't have enough information but from what you have said, your friend is more concerned about her own insecurities than her friend wedding.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this! She talked about it behind my back and told other people she just wants to bring her new boyfriend to show off to her ex. I don't want drama at my wedding!
She also did this all at my bachelorette party and texted me the day after that she is deeply hurt by my plus one decision. She says she wants to talk but hasn't called me in one week. I told her we can settle this now and she can bring who she wants. Still she says she will call but hasn't. I'm over it and don't care about this drama 🙄

View Quoted Comment Dear lord, if I was in your shoe it would be a definite no for me. That’s ridiculous, tour wedding is not the place of even the time for pettiness.

View Quoted Comment Thanks for listening! You made me feel better!!

View Quoted Comment No problem! We all need the support during the planning process because it can get a little chaotic sometimes. Best of luck!