Downsizing the guest list

If you took out kids and people that were immunocompromised and senior citizens does that help your guest list downsize ?

I would hate to say this but your FH needs to stand up to the MIL and understand that some of her people may be uninvited. I think the easiest thing is to limit it to close friends and immediate family so if it is her friends then they are out. I think if you explain due to COVID that is understandable that you changed plans. Zoom or livestream for the ones that can no longer attend.

It is your wedding day, so you should get to invite the people you want to be there, especially when you have to limit your guest list due to COVID. I agree with the previous comment, for the people who aren't able to be invited to the in-person ceremony/reception, can they be invited to watch via Zoom? I imagine most people would be understanding of the situation if they are uninvited. As for letting people know about uninviting them, this article has a good template for an email or letter you can send: https://theeverylastdetail.com/coronavirus-wedding-postponement-email-templates-to-send-to-guests/

View Quoted Comment It does but that will eliminate my grandparents and also I’m not sure how to ask people if they are immunocompromised. Its a good idea though!

View Quoted Comment Oh yes I know its not my responsibility to stand up to her, and he will. It just really irritates me that she’s making me seem like a villain for uninviting her friends who I never invited in the first place. And plus theyre not even paying for the wedding. And yes that is what I’m leaning towards, my in laws are not being logical about it though. I just cant understand how anyone would get offended under these weird circumstances

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! That’s super helpful!

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Girl. I feel like when it comes to life events there are some people who feel they get a say in other people's plans. Ya know what she will be mad and I feel she will get over it and if not please know you two did nothing wrong. First of all, rude on her end inviting people that she wants there but if they uninvited you nor your FH should feel any shame. I am sorry it is a time of corona and you know what I wholeheartedly agree with you not wanting to postpone and I do not feel you should to appease her and her friends. If she really wants a celebration with them then she can throw a post intimate ceremony party that she hosts and pays for and invite them lol. You two should not be made to feel ashamed for keeping in mind people's safety or yours.

Miss Manners etiquette column recently stated that the only polite way is to inform your guests that your date is canceled and send out new invitations to your smaller list with the new date. There is no polite way to uninvite people otherwise.

View Quoted Comment I thought of that, but that seems like it could make it worse if they find out you had an event and lied to them? I think I’d rather just be honest 😂😂 truthfully no one should be getting offended though these are weird circumstances

View Quoted Comment You're not lying that the original date is canceled and etiquette does not stop for a pandemic. Send announcements to those you had to cut but do not outright uninvite them. Uninviting someone is more rude because that is saying "you were able to come on this day but it's no longer happening then so you have to stay home while others get to stay on the list"

View Quoted Comment We were going to uninvite everyone who’s not family. I personally feel like these are completely crazy circumstances and no one should be getting offended over a decision like that but I guess not everyone is like that lol