Downsizing guest list....

We're having a really small (60) wedding, mostly because we both can't stand the idea of a huge affair. We originally started with 75, and we have it down to 60 now. There's a lot of family we both aren't inviting, including NO kids, and neither of us feel bad about it!!! I don't want to have a family reunion with people I haven't seen in years at my wedding. I want to enjoy it with those I'm closest with and know the both of us.

Do you feel like you'll get heat about it? I'm so nervous about that...

I'm inviting 140 people and I'm not inviting Canada and some CT family. If you don't talk to them, don't invite them.

We may. But my dad understands and he's paying for it so that's all I care about. We aren't allowing anyone to tell us who to invite. FMIL asked to invite a friend and I said no with no remorse. But that's just how I am. It's your day and you need the people that are most special to be there. All the extras are just that, extra. You're going to just pay for them to come and eat. Not worth it to me.

Anyone who has every paid for a wedding will understand. And if they don't, too bad. Don't go broke over people's feelings. That's not what your wedding is about.

Don't feel bad, your friends and family will understand.

I think they'll understand. My cousin lives states away and didn't invite any cousins. We understood, no hard feelings.

Our wedding is under 50 people. We have kept it to immediate family and close friends. There is nothing wrong with what you are suggesting, but I also agree.... delete people in groups from the guest list so no hurt feelings. Im not inviting any coworkers and FH isnt inviting OOT family.... its just easier

We set a 5 year rule. If someone hasn't made an effort to see or talk to us in 5 years than we won't invite them. But with the way our budget/guest list is looking, it may turn into a 3 year rule.

So when you downsize and have an intimate wedding, what do you do about the reception? FYI, FH and I are paying for this all on our own. If we have, say, 100-115 people..most are family and are older ..do you even go to the length to get a dj? If you know barely anyone will dance? I'm barely even a dancer and so is FH

I'm not inviting about half of my cousins. My parents asked that I invited all of my aunts and uncles (over 25) but that cousins was up to me. I'm also getting married and live in FL and my family is in CT so I'm counting on a lot of people not coming.

Regarding the DJ, only you can really say what is best for you wedding. I would say if you absolutley know no one will dance then don't spend the money on a DJ, maybe make a playlist yourself for background music. Maybe have a brunch wedding with games. It is your day and you can customize it to whatever you want. There are no rules here. Good Luck.

We're having a small wedding and were not inviting ANY cousins at all. Not even one. No matter how close we are to them. No kids either. Mostly family with some friends thrown in.

It seems like you're leaning towards more of a dinner than a traditional reception. Which is okay! If you know the dance floor will be empty, don't shell out the money! That saves so much in cost right there. Don't do a full open bar, do beer and wine.

I'm not inviting most of my mom's family and they're local...not just to cut the guest list, but also because there's been a lot of drama on that side. If I get any heat, I'm going to just tell them them that we kept the guest list super small and we couldn't afford to have everyone we wanted there.

This is so stressful!

Not inviting my whole dads side bc we don't talk.