Jay
Devoted September 2021

Double proposal?

Jay, on June 27, 2020 at 11:02 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 7
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Has anyone proposed back to their partner after they proposed to you? It's something I've always loved the idea of and am strongly considering, but the exact circumstances of my relationship are making me hesitate. I would love some inspiration from anyone who has done this!


For anyone curious about my specific thoughts & situation (long post, my apologies)...

I know a few people who have double proposed, but in every instance both partners wanted to wear an engagement ring. My partner is clear in that he doesn't want a ring, although he has expressed interest in a nice watch for the wedding itself.

On top of that, his proposal was very casual—no knee drop, a discussion after he asked, no ring (we'll be picking one together, at some point). Very much what I wanted, and very much our style. Any proposal I do would be casual and private.

I'm considering writing him a short story (I write fiction as a hobby), and/or getting him a watch now. I'm leaning toward the story--I worry about offending him by buying a watch before we've picked my engagement ring. We haven’t picked a date or looked at venues yet, so proposing back in the next month, before we really start planning, feels ideal--so I would be writing on a deadline, haha!

Or…I could not propose back at all! Wanting a double proposal is definitely more important to me than it is to him, and I'm a bit worried he'll find it silly since we are using his proposal as the engagement date. Input greatly appreciated Smiley smile

7 Comments

Latest activity by Jay, on August 6, 2020 at 8:47 AM
  • Kirsten
    Devoted October 2020
    Kirsten ·
    • Flag
    My FH says "if you want to propose, then propose your ass off! If you're going to have an equal partnership, why not an equal proposal? " 🙂 I got the proposal first, and then I casually asked him if he would marry me too. At the time he thought I was weird for asking, but I guess he appreciates it. I agree... if you want to, do it. I like the idea of the watch.
    • Reply
  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    What a sweet idea. I ended Up getting a ring off of Etsy for my husband when we were engaged. He would always ask as a joke why he didn’t get a ring as well. When I got the ring I got down and asked him. He though it was funny and still has the ring even though it isn’t the one we used for our wedding. I could tell he loved the gesture though when I did that. I love that you want to personalize it. That will make it special.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    That's so sweet!

    DH had asked that he be the one to propose. Less because he's traditional, and much more so because he's younger than me, and wanted to know he was ready before he proposed (I would have proposed much earlier). This was entirely too logical for me to refuse, though I spent a good portion of our relationship making it *crystal clear* that he didn't have to worry about the answer. (We were just joking about that as we cleaned up dinner. I may have put a little pressure on him, by accident. Oops.)

    You do whatever works best for your relationship - though we'd all love pics/a retelling after!

    • Reply
  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    A couple of years ago, I started a book of reasons I wanted to spend my life with my FH. I gave it to him the day we officially announced our engagement.


    Since you enjoy writing, you could do any number of things! You could write a little story based on your love story, write a love letter, write little stories that each focus on an event from your relationship or something you love about him, etc. The options are endless!
    • Reply
  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I completely relate to this. My FH is younger than I am, too, and used to be afraid of commitment! I definitely wanted him to be sure he was ready.
    • Reply
  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
    • Flag

    We both proposed!! It was super sweet, I loved it. We're all about an equal partnership - we use the term partner a lot, etc., so it was perfect for us. Highly recommend!

    • Reply
  • Jay
    Devoted September 2021
    Jay ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for all your stories--they're so sweet and so inspiring!

    I ended up proposing back yesterday, which was our 5th dating anniversary. I wrote him a letter and at the end asked him to read the short story and then answer the question "will you (still) marry me (too)". He said yes and cried (he's so much more of a crier than me--it's adorable!), and then we got takeout Italian food and had box brownies. It was so lovely!

    Double proposal? 1

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