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Just Said Yes November 2023

Don’t want to invite my cousin’s kids but all of my fiancé’s cousin’s kids will be attending. What should i do?

Amanda, on November 25, 2022 at 5:08 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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So I’m still in the very early stages of planning, but I want to at least get the guest list for our families down. Now I have never really been close to any of my cousins. The most interaction I get with them is maybe a like on a Facebook post, but other than that we do not talk and we do not see each other ever. Most of my cousins have kids, all of whom I have either never met or if I did it was when they were just born and have never seen them since, so I really don’t want to invite any of the kids for that reason. But my fiancé’s cousin’s kids are all coming because he is very, very close with them. Is it wrong for me to not invite my cousin’s kids when my fiancé’s cousins kids are coming? How should I go about not inviting them or should I just suck it up and invite them? I obviously don’t want to cause any drama because I have no issue or need with my cousins, but I just don’t see a reason for them to be there.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Elycia, on November 28, 2022 at 1:01 PM

Expert July 2022
Shannon · on November 25, 2022 at 5:28 PM
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Based on what you’ve written that you have no relationships with your cousins, why invite them?
You don’t see them ever so if it were me, I’d leave them out.
For reference, we invited half of our cousins which we have current relationships with. The others were not invited.
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Just Said Yes November 2023
Amanda · on November 25, 2022 at 6:26 PM
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I have thought about it and I honestly wanted to not invite them, but I know my mom would be very upset with me (most of my cousins are on my mom’s side) and I feel like if I don’t invite them then it will create some beef/drama, especially because I want my Aunts/Uncles to come. I also attended some of their weddings too so I feel like I have to
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Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on November 27, 2022 at 6:59 AM
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I feel either you should invite all or no children. As someone with one child and another one the way I can tell you I've gone to a wedding where our daughter wasn't allowed yet other children were at the wedding and I wasn't very happy, but we believe they only invited family's children. If you pick and choose which children are allowed that will only cause a lot of drama and hurt feelings.
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Beginner May 2023
Molly · on November 27, 2022 at 9:18 AM
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Since the none or all kid discussion can sometimes be difficult (having littles in your wedding, etc.) why I have seen and also chose to do was on our website under Q&A I put “ Although our love is unlimited, unfortunately the reception space is not. We invite parents to take a night to relax, let loose and only bring your children if they are specifically listed on your invitation.”
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Just Said Yes November 2023
Amanda · on November 27, 2022 at 10:27 AM
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Understandable, thank you for the input!
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Beginner May 2023
Molly · on November 27, 2022 at 10:27 AM
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No problem! And good luck! I know it’s a tricky situation. Been there when planning as well.
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Just Said Yes November 2023
Amanda · on November 27, 2022 at 10:28 AM
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Understandable, thank you for the input!
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on November 27, 2022 at 1:54 PM
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Since you say there is no relationship with cousins, don’t invite them. Unfortunately, there is no polite way to invite some children and not others. It sends the message that you are playing favorites when some are given loopholes or different rules, and guests do talk, though none will ever tell the couple so they are under the impression that guests love the idea.

Mom can be upset all she wants. Are you getting married or is she? If she wants a family reunion, she can easily arrange an annual picnic at a local park that everyone contributes to and is not on your dime related to your wedding.
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Devoted February 2023
Elycia · on November 28, 2022 at 1:01 PM
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Unless you're making a line at children of family or children in the wedding only you really cant pick and choose like that and still be polite. I would think that you just wouldnt invite your cousins if you're not close to them. Your mom shouldnt have a say in your guest list.
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