Rachel
Just Said Yes November 2019

Don't want a guest to attend. What do i say??

Rachel, on September 19, 2019 at 9:19 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 1 18
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My aunt and uncle had a nasty divorce. He was caught cheating, he is now dating a new woman. He has invited her as a guest when my invitations clearly stated just him. The woman being there would cause lots of drama. Do to me still being close with my ex-aunt and her making the wedding cake. How do I tell him that she is not welcome at my wedding?

18 Comments

  • M
    Dedicated October 2019
    M ·
    Since she wasn’t on the invite, tell him you have a strict max and budget and you can’t have extra people. Do you have a lot of people bringing people they are just “dating?” If not, you can add in that the only people that got plus ones were those that live together/married/you’ve met. Whichever qualifies your wanted guests and not her.

    Pretty bold of him to add a plus one. More and more people seem to do that. I find it so rude. Best of luck. That’s a crappy situation to be in. His divorce doesn’t mean you have to divorce your aunt. I can’t imagine not involving some of my aunts/uncles “by marriage.” I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal Online ·

    I agree with pp. Also, can you ask whichever of your parents is his sibling to talk with him and let him know his guest is unwelcome? I get that it's your wedding, but depending on their relationship, it might be easier (for you at least?) if your mom or dad is willing to rein him in.

  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Definitely agree with this.
    Gf wasnt on the invite and you just cant accommodate her.
    And having whichever parent soften the blow is an excellent idea.
  • Anna
    Expert August 2020
    Anna ·

    I agree with previous posters. It's important to consider that once he knows she is not welcome, that he also won't attend. Just prepare yourself for that possibility. Good luck!

  • Alyssa
    Devoted June 2020
    Alyssa ·
    Hate to agree but he started the drama. Just be ready for him to not show if he can’t bring his new woman.
  • Amber
    VIP May 2020
    Amber ·
    If she wasn't on the invite, just tell him you don't have the room for extra un-invited guests. Doesn't even have to mention that it's primarily because it's his new woman, she's a stranger that wasn't invited. I agree with Alyssa though, he may decide not to come in that case.
  • Sara
    Devoted February 2020
    Sara ·
    Wow! The balls on him!

    Unfortunately, due to venue restrictions we can only accommodate guests who were listed on the invitation.
  • L
    Savvy October 2019
    Lindsay ·
    I would just let him know that there's a strict limit and you are not accommodating plus one's. I find it really rude when people add their gf/bf unless a plus one space is written
  • Aleaj
    Expert October 2019
    Aleaj ·
    Tell him you don’t have space to accept extra guests lol
  • Andrea
    Super October 2019
    Andrea ·
    I agree with everyone else. Tell him you have a strict limit on the number of people. He shouldn’t have done that.
  • Sherry
    VIP September 2019
    Sherry ·
    Your venue has a limit and only those invited are welcome to attend.
  • Margie
    October 2021
    Margie ·
    Very simply let your uncle know that his invite was not meant for a plus one.
  • M
    Devoted October 2019
    Melodie ·
    That’s so uncomfortable. Just curious—who is related to you by blood? Your aunt or your uncle? If it is your aunt, then you should absolutely just go ahead and tell your uncle no. Politely, people gave good examples above. But, if it’s your uncle, then you may be better to let her come. (I’m not saying that’s absolutely the right idea, but it could be.) If you uncle is the one who is blood related it might be hard for your parents to exclude his new person, even though he made poor decisions in the past. It might just warrant a little more thought if he’s the one who is related. Again, if your aunt if the one who is blood related, I think your uncle is sol!
  • Elizabeth
    Dedicated June 2021
    Elizabeth ·

    Put the blame on the number of people that you have resources/money/space to accommodate - don't put the blame on her. Then it doesn't become personal. I'd also say specifically that that's why there wasn't a mention of a plus one on the invite, which makes it clear in the conversation that you aren't going back on your word and he's the one who messed up.

  • Catherine
    June 2020
    Catherine ·

    I think it depends on how long ago all this happened and if he is the blood relationship. If he is not blood maybe he shouldn't have been invited at all. Is he your mom/dad's brother and has he been with this woman for over a year?

    I am not saying what he has done was right in anyway, but I do think this needs to be taken into consideration. What do your parent that is related to him think?

  • S
    Devoted October 2019
    Summer ·
    I would tell him pretty much what you just posted, you don't want drama at your wedding do you don't want her there
  • Keri
    Dedicated October 2019
    Keri ·
    Agreed just tell the truth. It’s your day after all ❤️ Hope it wrks out
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·

    I would text or call and say "Hey! So glad you could come to the wedding. Unfortunately, we don't have room with the venue or in budget for your plus one. If you can come alone, that's great! If not, let me know if we should change your RSVP. Thanks!"

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