Don't say the "W" word?

You kind of have to for venues and caterers and DJ... They're going to find out it's a wedding

@NowASeptMrs - in our case all those vendors are aware it's a wedding! I think she meant possibly transportation (although picking up a woman in a bridal gown would tip them off) and hairdresser/makeup artist. Just a thing I've heard which she seemed to confirm.

I've read that on well on several wedding websites/blogs. However, some of those sites also suggested self-catering as a budget friendly alternative. Sooooooo, I take the advice with a big grain of salt.

Centerpiece has a very beautifully worded post about this subject. I won't be able to put it as nicely, but in short: it's bullshit.

Your vendors MAY charge you more, and that is because they need to. Weddings are advertised as "the most important day of your life" and every one is different. Vendors need to spend more time doing research on your thing and making sure it is *perfect*, because you will want it to be, as well.

So yes, a vendor might charge you more, because you have higher expectations of them and they have more work than just sending a bouquet to your mom on her birthday.

@BeachDreams - gross and dreadful. Definitely not listening to them!

@mna - I would never do this because a) I have a hard time lying for a long period of time b) I'll feel like an asshole basically every day until the wedding and probably also on my wedding day and c) I wouldn't want to risk a pissed off vendor cancelling.

Agreed with @Mna when you say wedding the vendors understands how important it is to you.

@Bryce - I'll have to find Centerpiece's post because I really value her thoughts. I've long assumed this was total bullshit, in short because I don't know anyone who could play the long Con and feel good about it. I don't understand how anyone could keep it up with vendors like caterers or hairdressers. All my vendors know we are having a wedding. We chose trusted vendors and don't want to cheat them.

Exactly what Mna said and Centerpieces has a great post, I agree you should look out for it.

One thing you CAN do if you want to stay within your budget with vendors, instead of not mentioning the word "wedding" is negotiate for reduced prices in exchange for reduced services. For instance, your photographer charges $2000 for x-amount of hours, a second shooter and an album, you can ask for them sans the second shooter and album for only $1500. If the limo service charges $600 and includes champagne, ask if it's less without the champagne.

@Karen - quality is the most important thing to us, so we are setting our expectations up front and are very transparent about our budget.

@PushingButtons - we have already arranged something like this with a photographer. I don't want or need a bridal portrait session so we eliminated that from the package and saved money. I'd never dream of doing what I asked about, but was wondering if others had heard of this idea and if they'd tried it.

Agree with PPs. For your wedding you want the best possible outcome and that typically means being 100% honest and letting them know the event is a wedding. Expectations are typically way higher for a Wedding than they are for a family gathering, etc. they need to know those things before hand.

Eta grammar

@Taryn - we definitely aren't doing this! I am totally transparent with my vendors but was curious to know what others had done.

I understand because I got the same advice, but when it came down to meeting with my vendors I totally saw things from their perspective and realized that I did not want anything to be a surprise on my wedding day lol

Yea as soon as you saw wedding the price goes up at least here in Las Vegas it does

The short answer?

Weddings cost more because they are, for most people, more detail intense, require more conversations, tastings, mockups; there are the expectations of not only the couple but their friends and family. Everything has to be perfect, and perfect for hours on end. Makeup for first looks, ceremony, party. Flowers all day and evening. Often in the heat. A bouquet for a simple portrait doesn't have to have that staying power. If a cake for a birthday party isn't exactly the same as the photo, it's not the end of the world.

But a wedding is, ideally, a once in a lifetime event. We will spend more time with you than we will for a simple updo, for a retirement cake, for a 'happy Wednesday' bouquet. Even for me; a baby blessing is not going to require the hours a wedding does.

And that's why it costs more.

Good wedding oriented vendors sweat blood and tears to make your days perfect. They'll find that poem, that rose, that hors d'oeuvre recipe, that song. And that's why they charge more.

@Patty did you read ANY of the other comments? Weddings are expensive for a reason - perfection comes at a high price!

@Celia - I completely agree with you! I have had countless emails with many vendors which is why I'm glad to be up front with them.

I don't believe there is some mass scam in the wedding industry to charge people a wedding upcharge. Often there is a reason wedding items are more expensive. Very often brides demand a higher level of service than a regular client. My photographer, for example, has been emailing me back and forth for 9 months. We've met in person 3 times. She has helped me choose vendors and locations. All that time she has put in so far is accounted for in the wedding charge I am paying her.

@Bicycle - wow, your photographer sounds great and very thorough!