Don't Know What To Do

She’ll always be your sister. In time maybe you both can moved past this.

View Quoted Comment Honestly my life seems a lot less stressful without her in it. She was a constant source of drama that I really don't care to have in my life.

Is there a reason you were so adamant about not getting her a wedding present? My sister and I have our issues, I get it. But it sounds like maybe there’s more going on here? You still have a lot of time ahead of you, I think someday you’ll be happy you have the photos with her.

View Quoted Comment My sister didn't tell anyone in our family she was even engaged. She posted it on Facebook which is how we found out. She then got married a week later and told my mom via text message. She then proceeded to send everyone announcement cards telling people she got married and would like them to send her money. My sister isn't good at saving money. Her and her husband also have a history of alcohol and drug abuse so I wasn't about to send them a bunch of money not knowing what they were going to spend it on. She also didn't we get me a card for my wedding, so it didn't make sense to me to send a gift to someone who was demanding a gift and didn't give me one for my wedding.

It does sound kind of immature that your sister is mad at you over not giving her a gift, of all things.

Okay, in my opinion, PPs are a little off base.

Elopements often mean forgoing gifts. You're forgoing most of the "wedding" process. For her to get this angry about an undeserved gift, there's definitely more underlying issues. That, coupled with, what could be, present drug/alcohol abuse... I very much see where you're coming from.

When you’re an adult, EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE, has to have earned/earn a place in your life. At the *very* least, they cannot screw up an established relationship. This includes parents, siblings, and other family members, just as we all know for romantic partners, friends, etc. Blood doesn't mean toxic people need to stay in your life.

Regarding the wedding album, that's definitely tricky. Have you already spent some money on it? I wonder if there would be a way to have someone else arrange it, if so. Maybe your spouse could go through and pick out some good ones without your sister in them to display openly in your house. Are you making a physical album?

View Quoted Comment I planned on making a physical album. Most of the options I have been looking at are around $500-600 so to me that is a lot of money to spend. A ton of our photos include her because she was maid of honor so like all of my bridesmaids photos, ceremony photos since she is standing next to me, family photos, etc.

I would forego the album for now until you can really look at pictures and be okay with it. Or just pick the pictures she's not in which I know isn't ideal either. So sorry you're dealing with this!

I'm so sorry you're going through this...unfortunately, there are times when "family" is just another "f" word...

Don't do anything rash, but on the photos you can, enlarge them to be able to crop her out. It isn't ideal, but hopefully the clarity is good and that way you'll have some of your photos of just you and your husband without her in them. The ones you just can't do that on, you will have to deal with.

Important part: Don't let her get you angry. It is giving someone else control of your emotions and she doesn't deserve that power, especially on what was one of the happiest days of your life. You need to remind yourself that those photos, the event, that day were about you and your husband. No one gets to steal the spotlight.

You will be ok. Remember that her problems are not yours to take on, and, again, do not give her the power to taint the memory of your wedding day. You do not deserve that. ::hugs::