Donation in lieu of favors

No, the donation shouldn't be announced to your guests.

You can spend your money however you choose. I am among the first to always say that favors are unnecessary. But so is announcing your charitable donation to your guests. It comes off like you are seeking a pat on the back. Do you normally publicly announce your charity donations?

I'd put a framed announcement on each table. Don't waste money printing things, that defeats the purpose of savings money on not doing favors (which I'm all in favor of!)

View Quoted Comment I wouldn't say your wedding guests are a public announcement. When I make donation in honor of someone, i.e. donation to the American cancer society when someone's family member passes away, they get a card in the mail.

I totally agree!!

I went to a wedding last year where the couple had made a donation instead of having favors. They made little bookmarks that said something along the lines of "In lieu of favors, we made a donation to St. Jude Children's Hospital". They didn't put the amount they donated on the bookmarks. I thought it was a neat idea.

View Quoted Comment Making an in memorium donation to a charity requested by family is an entirely different matter. Of course they are going to notify the family you made a donation in honor of their loved one.

I don’t donate to charity for public recognition nor do I ever announce it. However, I feel like this is more of a unique case because the idea of donating is the “favor.”

I’d like to clarify by noting this isn’t some righteous campaign of “look at us we’re so nice,” and more of an idea that stems from giving our guests some gratification with a more meaningful favor. I’m looking at it from the perspective of the guest already “owning” the $5. I think many of our guests would really appreciate knowing that “their $5” went to a good cause instead of an overpriced cookie or koozie.

But all of this feedback is exactly what I was looking for from everyone! We only have good intentions on this but we want to hear all perspectives as I’m sure our guest list will consist of these different perspectives as well, haha.

View Quoted Comment It's the same thing. I made a donation instead of giving flowers, etc. Here the couple is making a donation in lieu of favors.

View Quoted Comment If you're going to do your guests a favor by donating in their honor, at least let them choose the charity.

View Quoted Comment I think the issue with this lies in that you are donating to a charity in your guests’ name without knowing if they actually support the organization. There are dozens of well-known “non-profits” that poorly use its money and have shady finances. Favors are supposed to be like an extra (but optional) “thank you!” But donating to a charity you pick is 100% about you, not your guests, you know?

I think donating is a great idea but I don’t see any reason to tell your guests about it.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for this feedback! Thankfully the charity we have in mind is one we are confident 98% of our guests will be personal to them as well due to it being related to an illness that has deeply affected both sides of our families.

And quite frankly, I’m not in the business of making everyone 100% satisfied with all aspects of our wedding, haha. I’d elope if that was my concern. If we have a few people upset at the charity we choose, knowing how personal it is to us and our families, then they probably should’ve been left off the guest list in the first place, lol. But I digress..

My main question is whether or not it’d be nice to let our families know we’re doing it or not!

View Quoted Comment I get where you’re coming from but I disagree. It’s not like wedding guests get to choose a traditional favor.

The charity we’re choosing is significantly personal to us due to family reasons (on both sides), therefore it would be personal to the majority of our guest list so I don’t see this being an issue whatsoever

i was more so seeking opinions on whether whether it would be nice to let our guests know we did it or not which you already answered so thank you!

View Quoted Comment That’s great to know it’s a well-supported charity!
I understand you can’t make everyone happy and totally agree about that in general with weddings. But when it comes to literally donating in someone’s name, that is something you SHOULD be ensuring everyone is happy with. I’d be kinda pissed if someone put my name on a donation that went towards a cause or organization I don’t agree with. From what it sounds like that won’t happen with you, but this is not something you should be nonchalant about when it comes to guest support, because you are donating to a charity in their name, which makes it about them just as much as it is about you and your wedding. It’s different than the other aspects of your wedding.

View Quoted Comment I never made mention of putting individual names of our guests. That would get extremely muddy and time consuming to make upwards of 200 individual $5 donations, haha. Just instead of spending $X on favors, we’ll be making one donation of $X probably under “on behalf of the -last name- family and friends” or something of the like!

View Quoted Comment Ah gotcha - often (but not always!) when people do donations in lieu of favors they make the donations in people’s names. Sorry for the confusion!

I think it is a wonderful idea. I would like to know that you used the money for favors to donate to charity if I were a guest. I think it is very thoughtful of you.
Choosing a charity that has impacted both sides of your families was an excellent idea. Go with your heart. You know the intents of your heart and if you are doing it for show. Don't let people make you feel less than honorable for your generosity.

View Quoted Comment Wait, where did people make her feel less than honorable for her generosity?

I think it can go either way—some people might feel that it’s nice and some people might think the announcement comes off as sanctimonious or better than thou.

I think it’s nice and if it’s appropriate for your guests, do it. I don’t think an actual announcement is needed but perhaps a little folded tent or frame on each table that says “in lieu of favors, we have made a donation to [charity].” I would never, ever go to a wedding, see that frame on a table and think, “wow, I can’t believe they donated to that charity even though it’s not my preferred charity. I’d rather have a cheap favor.” I would honestly just think of it as a kind gesture from the bride and groom.