Sada
Savvy May 2021

Doing it all myself

Sada, on October 29, 2020 at 12:52 AM Posted in Planning 0 15
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I鈥檓 planing my wedding all by myself my fianc茅 is no help he says YES to everything 馃ぃ it鈥檚 getting frustrating so many things are coming up that I didn鈥檛 know I needed to do but I am making away already have the venue paid for photographer paid for food/catering paid for my dress is getting made that鈥檚 paid for but I鈥檓 still working on everything else anyone else frustrated

15 Comments

Latest activity by Tori, on October 29, 2020 at 9:23 PM
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith
    • Flag
    Are you planning on doing all things by yourself forever? If not, time he took some responsibility. This is the first major entertaining that many people have planned as a couple. A time to work out money and responsibility issues. Tell him his marriage depends on it.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca
    • Flag

    It takes two not just to get married, but to plan the wedding.

    Honestly, if he only says, "yes," but you do all the work, I'd take that lovely planning book and threaten to drop it on his head. (I may or may not have done this when DH *looked at the book* and then freaked out about not knowing what to do.)

    Learning to work together to plan this will give you a lot of information and practice for married life.

    • Reply
  • Llcool_Kay
    Expert July 2021
    Llcool_Kay
    • Flag
    I think you should talk to him about the importance of team work. Sounds like he鈥檚 ok with just making sure you鈥檙e happy. Tell him you would be even happier if he helped LOL. Do you have a wedding planner? That may help ease the stress. I found mine on thumbtack.com
    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Devoted February 2021
    Jessica
    • Flag
    Get a planner!! Worth every penny. My sister is super organized and always on it she said in hindsight that she wish that she had gotten a planner. I took her advice and got a planner and it was the best thing I ever did I literally have no stress.
    • Reply
  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky
    • Flag

    H did the same thing - always said okay - because he wanted to make me happy. We sat down and had a heart to heart about the fact that I was *drowning* in everything that needed done and that I needed input, not just and "okay." He said that some of the stuff he said okay on because it made no difference to him whatsoever - so we came up with a list of things that were important to him, important to me, and just generally important. The things that were important to him (his attire, GM attire, music) he took care of. The things that were important to me (my attire, BMs attire, flowers/decor) I took care of. Everything else we worked on together. We both decided on food, venue, invitations, photography, etc. In the end it was OUR wedding not MY wedding - which is how it should be.

    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine
    • Flag

    I think that some males just aren't into the planning thing and that's okay. My husband helped out with the major things but I know he wouldn't care about the "little things" like centerpieces, favors, etc. He would agree to anything I wanted for those things.

    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa
    • Flag
    Are you able to "assign" him a major task or two, or let him pick his favorite tasks out (such as, hiring a photographer, selecting the rehearsal dinner menu/location, etc), and let him figure out most of/all the details for those specific tasks? That way, he's helping plan, and it takes some of the work off your plate.


    My fiance was stressed out by wedding planning, so what worked best for us was: we both were involved in all tasks, but I did more of the research. For example, I would do all the research on invitations and show him options that I liked. If he didn't like any of them, I kept researching. Otherwise, if he especially was drawn to one option, and I agreed with it (I only sent him options that I also liked), then we'd choose it. He did most of the communication with our vendors, and I focused on researching smaller details and sending him options for us to discuss. Would something like this work out for you and your fiance?
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa
    • Flag

    My fianc茅 is super involved and opinionated so far. He's basically selected the venue, the color scheme and favors. I typically give him a few of my favorite options for whatever it is and what he picks we'll go with or if he doesn't care so much about he just has me pick. As many other posters have said, it's team work and your day as a couple and he may be just agreeing to make sure you are happy. I would just talk with him and see if there's anything he specifically wants and what's important to him on your big day.

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Kate
    • Flag
    Assign him tasks that鈥檚 the only why my FH will do any planning because he doesn鈥檛 want to upset me. Also definitely assign them things that aren鈥檛 a huge deal to you if it鈥檚 not exactly what you would have chosen. I made mine decide on napkins and the style of our cake I hate cake and did not care what it was like and he picked 3 out of 6 of our desserts. It doesn鈥檛 sound like a lot but we still early planning but I learned if you don鈥檛 assign men tasks they don鈥檛 do anything when it comes to weddings parties anything 鈥済irly鈥.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie
    • Flag
    I know how you feel. I was at first doing it all by myself and never asked him to help, but I found myself so stressed out and anxious that I started having him help. Well we decided one weekend to go look at flowers from Micheals and dollar tree to make center pieces, we are doing rustic theme and I put together this center pieces in the store and asked his opinion he said he loved it, so of course we bought a bunch of the stuff and got home and started putting the center pieces together. His mom made the comment that it looked like we were getting married in the fall. So we returned the flowers and leaves and had to start over. I ask his opinion and he just says yes that looks good. So now I give him tasks or just ask him for money to help me out with buying everything. I have so far put a lot of money into the wedding and haven't really asked him for a dime, but finally I started pricing things and then asking him for the money for it. He's been more helpful but not much more helpful. I just took to the realization that he can just help out financially and I'll do everything else.
    • Reply
  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha
    • Flag
    My Husband Was The Same Way! I Stopped Asking And Started Telling Him What He Needed To Do / Get Done Lol . I Had To Tell Him Multiple Times Though.
    • Reply
  • Future Mrs.Randolph
    Dedicated February 2022
    Future Mrs.Randolph
    • Flag
    If it was up to my fiance we would've gotten married at the courthouse but he knows I really want a wedding so he's compromising with me on that. As far as what we've worked out is I do the research and narrow down the choices to about 3 and we'll make the choice together. He gets really overwhelmed with all the research and details so I do most of that. He's dealing with music since he's a music fanatic and his attire.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated November 2020
    Shakiyla
    • Flag
    Sounds like mine as well. At first he had nothing to say until I started to cut his list and things he wanted. He changed his mind real quick, he was still slow at completing my deadlines, once I got on him one good time he came around. Now that we are a week away he鈥檚 really been on it being a pain in my ass.
    I had to tell him he鈥檚 not stressing me out the week of the wedding so whatever little thoughts he has now is too late lol
    • Reply
  • Sada
    Savvy May 2021
    Sada
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol well mine say and so what he want as well he have his days he will start making decisions then he will be like yes yes yes lol
    • Reply
  • Tori
    Savvy May 2021
    Tori
    • Flag
    My FH was involved for most of the planning. It takes two to plan. Try to get him to make decisions about small things.
    • Reply

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