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Just Said Yes May 2020

Does the moh have to give a speech or can i choose a different bridesmaid?

Alana, on May 28, 2019 at 10:59 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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I have decided to make my older sister my moh but, to make it more of a title than an actual position since she’s disappointed that she’s not the one getting married and has expressed this to me and my wedding party. I don’t consider my sister and I to be close; however, I don’t want there to be any drama and she’s known for unpredictable outbursts. To avoid this, I was wondering if it would be in poor taste to have my best friend who has been taking on the moh duties give a speech since I think she should be acknowledged after everything she has done for me. I’d rather not have my sister speak but, am not sure how to tell her this or if I should just leave it alone, let her speak and hope for the best.

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on May 31, 2019 at 6:02 PM

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on May 28, 2019 at 11:08 AM
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Can they both give speeches, just shorter than traditional? I assume your sister will be hurt if she is the MOH and doesn't speak.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on May 28, 2019 at 11:16 AM
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I agree with this! Since it's expected that the MOH would give a speech, I would think it would cause a lot of drama if you specifically asked your sister not to.
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on May 28, 2019 at 11:29 AM
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Do you think your other bridesmaid wants to give a speech? You could have them both give a speech but I would be sure she wants to do it. We are not doing speeches.
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Super October 2019
Kelly · on May 28, 2019 at 12:12 PM
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Can they both give speeches or offer both of them the chance to do a speech, you might be surprised one (or both) may turn them down.

However, be careful w/ too many speeches. No lie, like 5x different ppl including my DJ said that too many speeches can lead to some testy guests & cut into the wedding schedule. For this reason we have opted that FH father will do the first toast, then first course (salad will be served) when everyone is eating their salad the Best Man & MOH will give their toasts. Then salad dishes will be cleared & entree dishes will be served.
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Super October 2017
Emily · on May 28, 2019 at 9:40 PM
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My sister (we think) was jealous I was getting married. She did not admit it. She shared as MOH with my best friend. Her speech was a full on disaster.
My husband's sister is lovely but likes to be the center of attention. She had too much to drink. Her speech was the hottest of messes.
They are both typically wonderful public speakers.
You cannot control it. It was awkward and uncomfortable but it did not affect the fact that we were married and it made people think poorly of them and not of me or my husband. Maybe give a time limit and have your DJ enforce that - again.... have your DJ enforce that. LOL - speaking from experience.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on May 31, 2019 at 6:02 PM
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This is a bit of a pickle... i mean, i think your sister loves you right so she wouldn't say anything so awful even if she feels bitter? but at the same time it feels like based off what you say, she's not truly the MOH. i would try to get them both to do speeches either individually or joint, BUT if your sister doesn't want to do it, then that's ok. i don't think an MOH has to, it's just assumed they would.
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