Does my fiance's brothers girlfriend have to come to my wedding

She does not have to come. But if you are having enough people to have a dinner party or reception to follow, you should invite her, as a courtesy to your brother. And sincerely hope she declines to attend, since she does not like you any better than you like her.

That would be a hard no from me personally. If neither of you like her nor want her there no invite. You wouldn't invite someone like that to dinner so why to a day that is supposed to be happy? Besides it is not as if they have been together long as you said and years from now who would want to see her in pictures?

Well....if you are inviting him, you are supposed to invite her.
Can your fiancé have a talk with his brother along the lines of “look, we know she’s going to be miserable and make everyone else miserable, tell her she doesn’t have to come and then no one has to be uncomfortable.”
But it’s possible she enjoys being this way and will relish the opportunity to treat you badly on your wedding day. If that’s the case, your fh’s brother may want to stay away so she doesn’t become the focus of everything. He will have to start making these choices sooner or later if he’s with someone that acts this way.

Are you prepared for his brother not to come if you don’t invite her?

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I know many people will say that they are a social unit and she should be invited, but if she doesn’t like you and you’re not too fond of her, why invite her? Plus, if it’s a small family gathering, she doesn’t automatically get an invitation just because she’s dating your fiancé’s brother. At the very least, I would let your fiancé’s brother know your decision so he is not surprised or caught off guard later. And you and your fiancé may need to be prepared for his brother’s hurt feelings or declination of the invite if his girlfriend isn’t invited. Just talk it over with your fiancé and come up with a united game plan

No, you don't. I can't even believe his brother (and possibly your future parents in law) tolerate her behaving like that. I used to have the same situation. Luckily, the gf broke up with him and then married someone else within a month! She then got a divorce a few months later and is married to someone else today.


May I ask, do you know the reason as to why she dislikes you?

Sure, if you and your FH are fine with your FBIL not attending and likely doing some major damage to your relationship with him.

View Quoted Comment My fiance and his brother aren't super close and while I would like the brother to be there, my fiance doesn't care if he shows up

View Quoted Comment I genuinely don't. She and I got along well enough initially. We even hung out when her bf would tell her he was too busy to come home to her. But once my fiance and I started looking for a home together, she just started ignoring me. For a while she'd even go out of her way to say hello to my fiance but ignore me if I said anything. My future in laws have asked what's the issue and I can't give them answers. And I never get an opportunity to try to talk to her because she always leaves as soon as she can.

View Quoted Comment Woah she sounds very immature. I absolutely couldn't have someone who continues to disrespect me at my wedding. Your FH needs to discuss this with his brother.

View Quoted Comment I completely agree. However my fiance and his brother really don't get along well so my fiance doesn't want to talk about the issue. Everyone in their family thinks I should just ignore her. But I don't want to have to be ignoring someone on my wedding day.

Significant others are always a package deal. Regardless if they have been together 4 months or 10 years and that is not up for you to judge. You cannot ask someone to celebrate your relationship while disrespecting theirs. The only way to not invite her is to not invite him.

View Quoted Comment I would just write his name only on the invitation. He would have to rsvp in advance. If she never cause any significant drama, I would let her come and ignore her, for the sake of my relationship with my brother.