Does Fiance need to include brothers in wedding party?

Your fiance doesnt need to invite anyone he doesnt want to be his groomsmen, including your brothers. Would it be nice and maybe spark a relationship? Maybe. Overall, I think it's better to have those closest to you and those you can truly count on by your side on your wedding day.

I also have three brothers and my fiancé didn’t feel comfortable having them as groomsmen which made me sad but his decision. So one is my bridesman (blood brother) and the other two are ushers (step brothers)

I think it is totally optional for FH to have your brothers in wedding party, I hope your mom did not say anything.

Your FH does not need to include your brothers. I think this used to be more of a “rule” in the past than it is now. My FH is not including one of his brothers or mine.

Thank you everyone!!! You have all made me feel so much better! My mom hasn’t said anything to them, thank god! Ahahah

My FH is not only not having my two brothers in his wedding, he’s also not having his own two brothers as groomsmen! While we love all of our siblings, we felt that we wanted the people we are closest to, who have been the biggest part of our lives and our relationship standing with us. Thankfully all of our siblings are understanding and get it!

I like your plans for your brothers.

You absolutely do not have to include them in your wedding party just because they're family, especially if you are not super close with any of them.

That being said, my husband did make his brother his best man despite them not being super close, but it was more of an honorary/right of passage type of thing because his brother made my husband the best man in his wedding.

Anywho, my husband and I used to be friends with this guy - my husband was actually a groomsmen in his wedding (the friendship sadly deteriorated after that). He asked him to be his best man, but their friendship was already rocky at that point and my husband turned him down and they agreed to have him just be a groomsmen. After the fact, the groom's mother was furious that he wasn't going to include his step-brother in his wedding. The groom caved and the step-brother was a gigantic jerk to everyone the day of the wedding, so... not saying that would happen to you, but you absolutely do not need to "just because" they're blood.

My mom was the same way about my ONE brother. We ended up putting him in the bridal party simply because my FH said he was not sure who among his other friends to ask and to appease her but really they are not that close. I think your idea of giving them all jobs the day of will make them feel important. If I had more than one brother in the same scenario, I would have to not include them as groomsmen.

I’m in the minority on this but I agree with your mom, absent some extenuating circumstances I absolutely think siblings should be in the wedding party. While my FH isn’t particularly close to my brothers, I am, and he included them without question. We live several states away from my family. Otherwise they would be closer. FH has his own brothers as well, so we have uneven bridal parties (more groomsmen) to accommodate all the brothers.

If not in the wedding party I wouldn’t give them the job of golf cart driver. Usher is much better.

If you’re not close to them, I don’t think they need to be included in your wedding party. I do like your ideas for including them in other parts of the wedding! Walking your mom and being ushers is a great solution to include them in the wedding. Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest, and if neither you or FH is close to your brothers I wouldn’t ask them to be groomsmen just to have them. Your mom doesn’t get to make that decision, your FH and you do. My H didn’t have his own brother or one of his sisters in our bridal party, and his mom had a lot to say about it, but we didn’t care because it was our decision and our wedding.

While I have included FH sister and he has included my brother, it is not required at all. If he wasn’t including my brother that would be fine with me and I would have my brother stand on my side. Have him choose who he is closest to.

I don't think brothers need to be groomsmen, but don't make them drive guests around on a golf cart. That feels demeaning to me. Either have them as ushers, readers, or just honored guests.

Your brothers definitely don't need to be groomsmen, if anything it would be more appropriate for them to be on your side of the wedding party rather than FHs as you're the one who's presumably closer to them. I wouldn't give anyone the chore of driving guests around though

Thanks everyone! Just to clear up the golf cart job, one of my brother's is the one who actually suggested and wants to do it. I am not doing it to be demeaning at all.

I have 8 brothers and sisters , DH has 13, all but 3 of the 21 already married ( so in-laws too) Number in wedding : 1 of FI brothers, and one of his uncles, and I had my godmother ( my grandmother's younger sister). and a cousin for whom I am godmother. No siblings. We each had two friends. All of our families had a position, that of family. No additional role needed, already the most honored of guests. Most of the many wedding parties, not my family, that I have been in, B & G had siblings, but not in EP. The few that included them, only had 1 of their 3-6 brothers or sisters, where they were exceptionally close social friends as well as family. Otherwise, friends in WP. Siblings not a requirement, never have been, though customary in some families. When brides and grooms lived at home until marriage, and spent more social time with family, little with friends, things were different. But this has not been a small town agrarian society for 50-75 years, where many are born, live and work and marry within a few towns, their whole life. Older generations often. want older traditions based on things that have changed. and starting age 14, most people now spend far more time with friends than siblings. And most wedding parties reflect that.

Your fiancé does't need to ask anyone to be a groomsman that he doesn't want to. I feel like it would be a little different if you wanted them to be groomsmen and he didn't mind, But the only two people who should have a say in your wedding party is you and your fiancé.

Best of luck and happy planning!

How about a situation where the groom and his sister are very close, but the bride isn’t close with her (they live out of town) The bride only wants her 8 friends. The grooms sister is devastated not to be in her brothers wedding.
(My best friend is the mom of the groom)

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Can't she stand on his side as a groomswoman? I can see both sides of this - the sister, being very close with her brother, obviously really wants to be in his wedding, but the bride shouldn't be forced to include someone she's not close with on her side. Having her stand on her brother's side seems like the most fair and harmonious solution to me. It's becoming a lot more common these days!

Thank you Hanna, that’s what we are hoping. The bride and her mom are very traditional though, so I don’t know if they’ll go for something like that. (The sister would rock a tux though haha)
Hoping for that harmonious outcome! Cheers!