Does babysitter need seat at table & catered food?

I personally would feel horrible and unwelcome if i has to sit separate and by myself and eat food that i had to bring while watching everyone else eat great food and talk to people. i would talk to the bride. but i just don’t think it’s super fair to have her not treated equally. she ultimately doing you a huge favor and for a long long day too.

Are your kids eating with you guys at these events then being sent off with a babysitter? Did you ask you sister about the logistics when you both got asked to be in the wedding party?

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. If she is going to be at the events, she should have a seat/meal with everyone else.

Did you clear this with the couple before inviting the babysitter? I couldn’t imagine asking someone to attend a wedding and then send them somewhere else to eat alone.

I personally think she needs to be fed along with your other guests!

She needs to be fed and have a seat at the table with you or her and the kids need their own table or you need to leave her at the hotel and order food. Who brings snacks to a wedding??? And Did you not already discuss this with your sister ahead of time?

Since she'll be working as your babysitter, I think she should be wherever the children are. If they'll be sitting with you and H, she should be there as well. If the children are going to be elsewhere, she should be with them. No matter where she is though, you should provide/cover all her meals and they should be the same/comparable to what is being served to others at the event. If she and the children will be staying at a hotel during some events, perhaps she can order room service for herself & the kids.

View Quoted Comment I should have asked her right away, but my partner wasn’t on board with a sitter at first so I couldn’t ask my sister at the time we were invited to be in the bridal party. The bride and groom also keep adding additional roles for us which are hard to do while watching my girls, so we need more help than we originally thought. Also, some relatives we thought would be able to help out just changed their RSVP to no, so we are now scrambling for childcare.

We haven’t brought up the idea of a sitter yet to my sister, because we just found out that our mutual friend who was going to watch our kids isn’t able to come to the wedding after all. So we are planning on hiring a nanny from an agency to come. I haven’t called agencies yet so not sure what their protocol is. I want my girls to attend the various events and be with us when we aren’t on stage in the ceremonies so the sitter just needs to watch them when we are on stage. My girls even have roles to play in some of the different ceremonies so I can’t keave them in a hotel. Plus, I don’t feel comfortable leaving them in a hotel with a stranger, even if she is a professional nanny. I would love to pay the costs associated with treating the nanny to the same nice meal as the guests and giving her a seat at the table out of respect for her, but I am concerned that will create a problem for my sister. What if she is at guest capacity or it messes with her table seating chart? I am nervous and I’m not sure how to handle the situation in the kindest way while
still making sure my children are safe and cared for. It’s an out of town wedding and very few people from our side are attending so I can’t ask other guests for help.

View Quoted Comment

You need to talk to both your sister about the logistics at the reception and the agency about their policies ASAP.

As a former nanny. Please dont make her pack her own food.
If the kids will eat at the wedding and you elect to bring your nanny, she should get a seat at the table.

Are you suggesting brining an uninvited nanny? Even if you are paying this is wrong. She can watch your kids at the hotel when they are not with you

Definitely float the idea that you are going to hire a nanny and talk about to logistics and what that would look like with your sister now. This way you can see if there are any constraints to the guest list. I would come in with a plan for how to make it all work, which I believe needs to include the nanny being treated as a guest at the wedding.

I'm assuming the bride knows you are bringing the babysitter to the wedding events? I'd have her sat at your table and fed the same thing.

Thanks every one! It’s been resolved. I chatted with my sister about the idea and she was 100% fine with me hiring a sitter to help at the wedding. The sitter will get her own seat at the table and it doesn’t inconvenience my sister because some of their “yes” RSVPs changed to “no” so the venue is not at full capacity and the seating charts aren’t done.