Jo
WeddingWire Administrator May 2015

Does anyone use "Speak now or forever hold your peace"?

Jo, on June 11, 2018 at 8:46 AM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 24
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Movies and tv would make you think that during wedding ceremonies the officiant will ask whether anyone objects to the marriage, and if so they should "Speak now or forever hold your peace". Have you ever seen this part included in a ceremony? Will it be in yours?

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24 Comments

  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·
    • Flag

    Any time I see this in movies or shows, this part always makes me cringe just slightly lol it's an awkward pause, as everyone looks around to see who may speak up.

    We won't have this. I'd be curious to hear interesting stories from those who have witnessed someone speak up at this part!

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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
    • Flag

    I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where this was actually asked. I'll skip it!

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  • D
    Savvy August 2018
    Deanna ·
    • Flag
    Our officiant/we were going to include it, but since my dad said he would actually speak up we decided to drop it out of the ceremony
    • Reply
  • Robyn
    Expert October 2018
    Robyn ·
    • Flag
    I have been to weddings where they use this. We will not be using it.
    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    Yes, it was part of my ceremony. This in the wedding liturgy of the Episcopal Church and removing it is not an option for anyone who wants to be married in the church. It's first charged to the couple to speak up if there is a reason they cannot marry, then it is asked of the crowd with that classic line used for drama in Romantic Comedies. My priest gave a brief pause after each question then the service moves right along.
    • Reply
  • A.Magill.Since.May
    Master May 2018
    A.Magill.Since.May ·
    • Flag
    Though in the Episcopal Church the only objections that count are ones that have to do with the legality of the marriage. "The groom is still married to someone else" is a valid objection. "I don't approve" and "I'm in love with the bride" are not lol
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  • Kaylan
    Dedicated March 2020
    Kaylan ·
    • Flag
    I have been to weddings where it is said and it is a really awkward moment of silence. I doesn't really even have a true affect on the ceremony. The two people usually still get married if anyone objects, and if you plan to object you shouldn't be a part of the couples day.
    We won't have that line in our ceremony.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    You've actually seen someone object at a wedding?

    • Reply
  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
    • Flag

    I've definitely watched enough soap operas and dramatic movies to know that this is definitely not something I want said at my wedding, lol.

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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    We did not include it, but it has been included in many church weddings I've attended. Like PPs mentioned, it’s more about the legality of whether the two people can be married.
    • Reply
  • Happy Hedgie
    VIP September 2018
    Happy Hedgie ·
    • Flag

    We are changing it up slightly. Our officiant said it has something to do with a legal requirement in our area but, that it doesn't have to be worded specifically that way. To meet the requirement she will be doing a charge to each of us privately prior to the ceremony ensuring that there are no legal requirements why we can't be married. During the ceremony she will instead ask who supports this couple in their marriage and the guests will answer "we do". This puts a positive spin on it instead of the dreaded pause you expect with the traditional phrasing.

    • Reply
  • kbrands
    Super December 2018
    kbrands ·
    • Flag

    We don't plan to use this. I also don't think that any of the weddings I attended recently have used this line.

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  • FutureMrsHarris18
    Expert July 2018
    FutureMrsHarris18 ·
    • Flag

    I highly doubt that I would use this... It is a little awkward. Especially since everyone has been invited and are supposed to be celebrating you. It just makes it uncomfortable especially if someone ACTUALLY speaks out.

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  • Kristy
    Devoted December 2018
    Kristy ·
    • Flag
    No it wont. We are using, "if anyone has reason why these two should not be married, SHUSH." Lol
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  • OrangeCrush
    Super October 2017
    OrangeCrush ·
    • Flag

    Been married twice, never said it at either wedding.

    • Reply
  • BB-H
    VIP September 2018
    BB-H ·
    • Flag

    I think there's something with this in the script for our ceremony, but it's not phrased the same way. I really don't care about it at all. In my mind, when I've heard it, it's always been a formality and no one has ever spoken up. I'm really not worried about it. Although I do understand if others want to remove it.

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  • NinjaBride
    Super June 2018
    NinjaBride ·
    • Flag
    Our officiant said she never says that and that’s fine with us! Lol. I have attended weddings where they have though!
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Super September 2018
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I will not be using that! Lol! i think it makes for a super awkward moment!

    • Reply
  • Tracy
    Super January 2019
    Tracy ·
    • Flag

    We are planning to change it up...."If anyone has any reason......blah blah blah....Just keep it to yourselves!". Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • C
    Dedicated January 2019
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    Most of the weddings I've been to have it, but the officiant has almost always said it as a joke.

    • Reply

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