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Dedicated December 2020

Does anyone feel guilty about the money spent?

Halie, on June 3, 2020 at 8:41 PM Posted in Planning 0 13

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My fiancé is cool with anything wedding related except going to the Justice of the Peace.

Originally, I wanted to elope just the two of us to Big Bend National Park. Then I changed it to immediate family. I was super excited about the plan. Well, after talking to my parents about it... it wasn’t a practical idea. My dad and step mom have a ton of health issues. My mom reminded me how important the moment of my dad walking me down the isle is.
My fiancé said if we are going to do something locally, then we might as well go big and invite everyone. We found a venue we LOVE! It’s all inclusive, open bar, great food, it can easily accommodate 200 people. We are estimating 100 guests. The total cost will be about 15K. We understand it’s a lot of money.
I told my mom because I was excited and she was like...
One hundred people?How are you going to pay for it?Nobody has a full dinner!Nobody has a bar!I thought you wanted small!That price is ridiculous!
It just makes me feel guilty. The whole reason we kept things small is due to wanting people to drive 10 hours to see us get married. I feel like I will have regrets later on if I don’t go big or go home. Like... I already changed my original plan to be more accommodating to my family.
Also, I’m not asking them to pay for any of this!
Thoughts?
Halie

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Elizabeth, on June 4, 2020 at 10:01 AM

Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 3, 2020 at 8:49 PM
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I don't think you will regret it at all if it is what you guys want! I was in a similar boat... originally wanted a small wedding, then made it bigger (we ended up having 100 people and spending around $17k). As someone who was skeptical about the cost of a big wedding and was having doubts about whether or not it was worth it up until literally the day of the wedding, I can tell you, it was worth every penny! There is absolutely NOTHING like being surrounded by all your friends and family like that. The experience is totally priceless. You can always make more money... you can't redo your wedding (well, you could have a vow renewal, but that's not the same). Plus, keep in mind you will probably get a lot of money "back" in the form of gifts from your guests.
Just make sure you spend the money in the places that actually matter. For instance, if we had spent $5k or something on flowers, I'm sure I would've regretted that (we literally only spent $100 on flowers). But I don't regret spending close to $10k on food and drinks for our guests. Spend money where it counts: on things that directly affect your and your guests' experience!
Don't worry about what your mom says, and don't share the cost of things with her... if she isn't paying, it's none of her business, and you don't need her negativity making you feel bad about what you're doing with your money.
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Dedicated December 2020
Halie · on June 3, 2020 at 8:54 PM
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My fiancé is shouting from the roof top right now! We are spending the majority of the money on the venue, drinks and food. It’s a little different since it is all inclusive but from all the reviews I’ve read the event team at the venue does literally everything you can think of to make your day amazing.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on June 3, 2020 at 8:55 PM
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I agree with PP. of this is something you and your FH want then you should do it. Focus on the important things when spending money.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on June 3, 2020 at 8:57 PM
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I would think if you’re ok with your budget, do it!
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 3, 2020 at 9:10 PM
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That sounds awesome! If this is what you want, I don't think you will regret it. I can't imagine ever having "regrets" about spending a special day with my family and friends, and treating them all to a great time.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 3, 2020 at 9:50 PM
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I totally felt guilty about the price. Or well not so much guilty but the price definitely set my thinking back because it was a lot of money to spend on a day! But that’s exactly the reason why you set a budget within your means and reasoning. If you can afford what you want then I don’t see why not
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Dedicated May 0021
· on June 3, 2020 at 10:23 PM
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Honestly! 15k is a good amount to spend as long as you can afford it. We are spending over 35k for 100 people🤷‍♀️. To each their own.
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Super November 2019
Mrs. S · on June 3, 2020 at 10:39 PM
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I don’t think it’s your mom’s business or place to judge if she isn’t paying for it. $15k for 100 guests is cheap. Weddings are a huge industry and have become outrageously expensive. I went way over budget but no regrets because it was an amazing experience and I’ll never get to do it again.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on June 3, 2020 at 10:45 PM
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If you don’t have the money, then it’s too much. If you do, blow it up!
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on June 4, 2020 at 1:24 AM
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Sometimes I did feel that way, but DH and I nearly never spend money on ourselves, we had family help, and this was what we wanted. So, I told myself to stop feeling guilty and enjoy it. (Harder than it sounds.)
But if this is what you can afford, and it's what you want - you're allowed to have fun, feel happy, and celebrate your love.
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on June 4, 2020 at 1:30 AM
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There were definitely moments where I was like, "this is absurd." But, ultimately, it was so wonderful to celebrate our love with all our loved ones. These are memories that we will cherish forever. Money comes and goes, but memories last.
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Devoted September 2020
Queen Cone · on June 4, 2020 at 6:10 AM
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Its a once in a lifetime event... with a once in a lifetime price
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Super June 2021
Elizabeth · on June 4, 2020 at 10:01 AM
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No one's comments on the budget matter unless they're contributing to the budget. Some people just don't think a wedding is worth that much, but it's a personal decision. It's your wedding and your budget; if you can afford it, go for it!
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