DOC VS Master and Mistress of Ceremony

From what I understand, the "traditional" master/mistress of ceremony is the unpaid, friendor version of a DOC. Using your coworker as your DOC with a small gift seems like a middle ground between the two. My opinion:

1) Master/Mistress of Ceremony should only be used if culturally expected. However, it should only be used as a title of honor. They should only have symbolic responsibilities and duties and in no way should they be required to perform tasks similar to a hired DOC.

2) Turn your coworker down. Friendors are never a good idea. What if she doesn't want to take the day off? Would you have invited her and her husband anyway? It just gets messy.

3) Hire a DOC if it's in your budget. It is very helpful having someone driving the timeline and coordinating vendors that day. However, this should be a hired professional. No friends. No family.

I have never heard of a master or mistress of the ceremony. But from how it reads that's a big ole nope from me.

We had a MC (master of ceremonies) they were part of the DJ package we choose. They did announcements throughout the reception, introductions and things like that. Some people just have their DJ do that. We wanted the DJ to be able to focus on the music so we went with having a MC.

A DOC will help with the whole day and help with some of the behind the scenes stuff.

It's apparently traditional in certain cultures. We had 1 user from Jamaica (?) that did this. It's however a friendor and therefore incompatible with the advice we normally give (that is, North/American).

Just like Tiffany mentioned, a DOC handles everything venue/vendor/set-up wise and a MC works with the DJ to keep the night of events in order. Both would hold different responsibilities so it depends what you are looking for.

I'm from Michigan and it's popular here. I wasn't planning on inviting them as we don't hang out and she's quite a bit older than me. She told me she wanted to do it months ago and I didn't even ask. She does it for a lot of people. She said that if anything were to go wrong she would be in charge of handling it. I don't believe tasks are supposed to be assigned. I just think they are there to make sure things run smoothly.

It doesn't matter if she is begging you to do it. You shouldn't allow a friend of co worker to work your wedding. Hire a DOC. Also, I am from Michigan and have never heard of this. So not a Michigan thing. Allowing a friend to do this is definitely rude.

@km okay thanks but that still doesn't answer my question.

I never said this person was a friend. She's almost as old as my grandmother and event planning is a huge hobby of hers. I would never hire or ask a friend to do this.

What?

@loveindc what type of symbolic duties? I just thought they speak on behalf of the bride and groom and are the middle ground if something goes wrong. That way you have someone who is good at problem solving and keeping calm to tell the bride and groom what's going on if need be. With some research I learned that the master and mistress are in charge of speaking with the DOC and are supposed to be someone you trust. I guess it's just a way of minimizing stress on the bride and groom. We have a ceremony coordinator but I doubt our reception hall has one. I'll have to look into this. Thank you for your helpful advice!

I honestly have no idea. But the way you're describing this role goes one of two ways. It sounds like they're either the DOC who is responsible for managing timelines, vendors, etc. Or they're your BFF/mother who is filtering out all the crazy so you can enjoy your night. If you're looking for the first, you hire a professional. A friendor is any acquaintance performing a professional task for you (as a favor or for pay). That's exactly what your coworker would be. If you're looking for the second, it doesn't sound like this coworker fits the bill. So again, you say thanks, but no thanks, and move on.

I have never heard of this. and having volunteer people 'run' your wedding who you wouldn't even invites sounds weird and awkward. Say no, for the sake of your friendship and your professional relationship.

Pay a DOC who is paid to be good at this.

A DJ oriented MC is a different animal; they do the announcements, keep the party moving along.

"learned that the master and mistress are in charge of speaking with the DOC and are supposed to be someone you trust. I guess it's just a way of minimizing stress on the bride and groom."

That's the job description of a DOC or planner. Just FWIW

Oh a venue we're looking at includes a DOC and MC ( saw on the website). We'll have to ask to clarify.

I've never heard of this but as a guest I can't imagine being able to know the difference. Are there friends or family members you can ask about this? It sounds like something that's common enough in your social circle but not common enough for WW to help with