Do you send thank you cards to those who didn't give gifts?

I definitely wouldn’t thank someone who didn’t bring any gift. The reception itself is already a “thank you for attending.”

We did not.

It is not required for you to send a thank you to anyone who did not bring a gift, BUT you absolutely can send a thank you card for attending if you wanted to.

You can, but you don't have to. We didn't.

Okay thanks for the clarification everyone!

This is a question I'm still debating! So our venue allows a photo booth, and gives us them all digitally at the end of the night. So my thinking was to send prints to everyone with their thank you cards if they used the photo booth. So what do I do if I have a cute photo of them printed but no gift from them? If we didn't have the photo booth question, my answer would be no.

I’ve been told if they didn’t give a gift, you don’t send a thank you. It can be seen as passive aggressive and like you expected a gift (even if that’s not the intention).

Your thank you for coming to the ceremony is the reception. Thank you notes are for guests who give gifts.

We won't be. As Gen stated, the rteception itself is a thank you. I'd only send thank you cards for those who send/bring gifts.

This was a cool read to understand different perspectives. We are sending Thank you’s to all guests as a thank you for celebrating with us. For us time is the greatest gift (highly recommend reading the five love languages) the gift of time to celebrate with us is all that’s important to us. I believe it’s up to you with that and what your intention is. Back in the day you wouldn’t dare put a registry on an invitation because it was considered rude. But it’s 2019 times have changed (it’s on our invites). Do what your heart feels is intentful. I should add we are not having a photo booth or party favors so aside from a reception, which is really because we want the reception, there’s no appreciation to them. Again, up to you!

No. Thank you notes are sent for a gift or a service. The whole wedding and reception are part of your celebration. You are the host. Guests thank hosts for inviting them to a wonderful special occasion and party. Since traditionally, anyone close enough to be invited to a wedding sends a gift, large or small, weddings where guests have given a card or gift, the guests are not expected to sent the hosting couple ( or parents hosting) a separate thank you. But technically, any guest who attends without giving a card or gift, owes a thank you note to the hosts. Guests send thank you to hosts, for providing the social occasion and food/ refreshments in a nice social setting. Hosts do not thank people for taking advantage of their hospitality. Only for gifts and services. That is social etiquette for all occasions, not just weddings.

I guess I'm struggling with this whole notion of the reception being the thank you for coming bit since I'm going the non traditional route. We are doing a small 15 people in attendance elopement style ceremony and a bigger informal "recpetion" the weekend following the ceremony.

Wow really, I didn't even question!

We wrote personal thank you cards for all our guests and we made sure each weren't a template, and took the time for all of them. We had 100 guests (so only had to write about 50 or so since most of them were couples and a few families). Each of our guests either took time out of their schedule to celebrate with us— and their friendship and attendance are worth more to us than a gift. Many of them did give gifts, but we wanted to make sure every body was taken care of since we truly love each any every guest we had.

I also wrote cards to our vendors since they all went above and beyond and are all amazing people.

I would have never thought to not write cards for guests, how long does it take, anyway?

View Quoted Comment This notion of the reception being a thank you has been around a while on WW and the knot. Over and over, people familiar with traditional etiquette, and etiquette mavens like Miss Manners, tell people : That is not so. Traditionally, for centuries, in most cultures, the refreshments or dancing are an optional part of the couple's celebration of their marriage. A marriage, a feast and celebration. Not in any way, a thank you to guests. Guests do not need to be thanked for coming to a wedding, christening, baptism, bas mitzvah, anniversary vow renewal, or any other celebration. And a person can marry, invite guests to only a ceremony, and have no reception. Or have a small private ceremony, few people, and invite a huge number to a reception and dinner, later the same day, on another day, or across the country, later, where friends and family are. Check any etiquette book, any time the last hundred years, not just web forums where lits of people answering learned everything from unreality TV and other sources that are not reliable. Even check encyclopedias: The reception is an optional part of the celebration of the marriage, by the couple and their families , or the couple. And guest owe hosts a thank you if they attend. This may be in the card or gift given for the wedding . If none, they owe hosts a thank you. So you are fine, quite traditional, going back to times when folks did not travel as often or quickly, and one or more receptions were held at a different time or place than the ceremony. Still common where a very small ceremony is wanted.

View Quoted Comment Most give gifts, so no cards for those who do not involves few people. But for those people, they should send you a thank you note. Guests thank hosts, ( hosts thanking guests is backwards), in all parties, dinners, or special occasions, including weddings. If you want to write a chatty letter afterwards, to anybody you want, saying how wonderful it was to see them, do it any time. This will be the first correspondence of your married life. But it should NOT be on a thank you card. Just a blank card, or regular stationery. It is not necessary, or customary, or standard etiquette at all, to send a Thank You card except for a gift, or a special service. On regular non-thank you stock, write any letter you want. Our across the street neighbors write us a short letter in a card every spring, when our huge front garden of showy bulbs, and flowering hedges and trees all around the yard, all come into bloom. But that is a nice, social note, usually newsy, suggesting now spring has come we must get together, and saying that this year as every year, they like the view of flowers. But it is not a thank you note, and it is not necessary for other people to send one, either. But people up the street do send us a Thank you, because we give their daughter the paper girl flowering branches of pussy willow, forsythia, cherry blossoms, lilac etc. So that, a gift, merits an actual, Thank You note. Social note, optional. Versus, Thank you note, required for gifts and special services. It is nice for people to get real, social letters these days, and a lot of people are in touch for their wedding, and then not heard from for years. So I don't discourage anyone from writing a nice letter or note, to anyone, after the wedding. Just that some should not be on Thank You style notes. And are not necessary. But nice.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I'm trying to remember that regardless of what's common, I have creative license over how I want my day/celebration to look.

Yes! (from my opinion) It's not about the gift giving, it's about them taking the time to celebrate your new life with you. I would send a thank you for attending card.

There's a standard that people have a certain amount of months to give you a gift for your wedding. But if they didn't give you one at the wedding I guess you don't HAVE to send a thank you card, but it's your choice. If a gift pops up later make sure to send a card. I have never not given a gift so I don't really know.