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Dedicated August 2018

Do you invite your officiant to reception??

Malari, on April 1, 2018 at 9:38 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

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Hi all! Are you supposed to invite your officiant to the reception?

If so, should you also invite their spouse?

I don't really know our officiant that well and I've never met her husband but it seems so tacky not to invite her to stay after the ceremony, and since she won't really know anyone it feels like having her husband there would just be more comfortable for her. Then again, I am paying her, and adding another $200 in dinner and drinks for them seems a little excessive.

What should I do?! Thanks!!

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18 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Fall Bride, on April 2, 2018 at 12:35 PM

Master May 2018
Forestwed · on April 1, 2018 at 9:43 PM
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We aren’t inviting our Officiant. Unless it’s someone you have a relationship with in some way other than the ceremony I don’t think you have to.
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VIP November 2018
ISaidHallYes · on April 1, 2018 at 9:45 PM
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Our officiant is my brother and law so they are invited... and both in the wedding party. So situation is different. Weddings that I have attended have their pastor there but again different. Not sure about an actually officiant. My guess would be no unless you have a relationship with them. Sorry I couldn't be of more help.
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Expert August 2018
Kelli · on April 1, 2018 at 9:47 PM
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Usually, unless you have a relationship with them, you wouldn't invite them to the reception. If you want to then obviously go ahead but it's not something you're expected to do.
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VIP October 2018
Yoomie · on April 1, 2018 at 9:59 PM
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Our officiant is FH's childhood rabbi. This rabbi is the family's rabbi. FMIL wanted to invite him to the Reception as well as the RD like any other guest.
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VIP September 2018
rica · on April 1, 2018 at 10:06 PM
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If it’s just a random person then no.
Ours is a friend’s father who probably wouldn’t have been invited if he wasn’t an officiant, but we are close enough and he is doing us a favor so we are inviting him! We’re not super close but him and his wife are great people and we’ll be happy to have them.
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Expert June 2018
Jamie · on April 1, 2018 at 10:07 PM
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At my sisters wedding the officiant had to leave right away for another wedding.
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Super May 2018
P.F. · on April 1, 2018 at 10:11 PM
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I'm inviting my officiant and his wife but I grew up in his church and I'm very close to both of them. I think it's nice for you to extend the invite to the both of them if you can afford it but if you can't and you don't know them then don't worry about it
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Expert September 2019
Anna · on April 1, 2018 at 10:25 PM
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Etiquette does say to provide food/drink to officiant if you are providing it to your other guests. If you are allowing guests to have a plus one, then you would allow the officiant as well. If you aren’t, or are only allowing certain guests plus ones, you may be able to get away with only inviting officiant
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VIP May 2018
plangalCG · on April 1, 2018 at 11:59 PM
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I’m pretty sure they don’t really want to come unless they are someone you know. I think ours will stop for a drink then leave.
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Devoted April 2018
Rya · on April 2, 2018 at 12:16 AM
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Most officiants do not stay unless it's family friends, mine is going straight home to mail our certificate
However, you do have to feed your dj, photog, video if you have one, any other vendors that will be there all day. (Not venue workers)
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Dedicated September 2018
arorapower2018 · on April 2, 2018 at 12:17 AM
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We are hiring a town’s ex-mayor, we did not know her prior to an interview. I asked her if she would like an invite, she told us very nicely that she does not usually attend the receptions, but she does like to have a glass of champagne and a small chat in the bridal suite following her ceremony.
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Master October 2017
O · on April 2, 2018 at 1:57 AM
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Nope, that's weird, it's a vendor. A family member/ clergy member, a big maybe, otherwise nope.
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VIP March 2017
Liana · on April 2, 2018 at 2:18 AM
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We invited ours but he respectfully declined since he had a prior commitment after our wedding.
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Super March 2019
Bailey · on April 2, 2018 at 5:28 AM
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We are inviting our officiant and her husband, but not her 3 youngish children. She is my pastor, and has been since I was 8 (22 now) so we have a relationship outside of the wedding.
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VIP July 2018
The Nuptials · on April 2, 2018 at 7:10 AM
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I was concerned about this too but we decided against this. I paid for her services and for pre marital counseling with her to a tube of about $800. Inviting her and her husband is another $300 and room we really don’t have. She did mention to us that she usually stays but that’s not my problem! This is a business relationship.
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Expert September 2018
R · on April 2, 2018 at 8:22 AM
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I offered for her to come. She declined saying, "no this is your time and I don't know anyone. Weddings are expensive as it is. You don't need to waste money on me"
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VIP September 2018
Michelle · on April 2, 2018 at 11:34 AM
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Our officient has been FILs pastor for many years so we are choosing to invite him and his wife. I agree it’s all about your relationship to them.
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Master October 2016
Mrs. Fall Bride · on April 2, 2018 at 12:35 PM
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Unless you have a long-standing relationship with them, because you grew up in their congregation, or they're a family friend, it's completely unnecessary to invite them. They are a vendor, not a guest. However, if you do choose to invite her to stay, which again, not at all necessary, then you should invite her with her husband.
We only met our officiants to hire them for the wedding, we had no prior (or subsequent) relationship with them, so we did not invite them to stay. They did invite themselves to cocktail hour lol but left towards the end of that.
ETA however, if you're having a rehearsal, and asking the officiant to attend it, then they absolutely need to be invited to the dinner afterwards. We did not have a rehearsal so we did not invite them to our welcome dinner.
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