Do you gift couples for weddings you decline or were not invited?

If I don't attend a wedding (either because I was invited and unavailable or not invited), whether or not I send a gift depends entirely on my relationship with the couple. If I am close with them I send a gift; if I am not close, I don't.

In your case, I would let your husband decide how he feels about the relationship in question and whether or not he feels compelled to send a gift. It doesn't seem like he's that close with this cousin if he doesn't know for sure if they have gotten married.

Since you weren't invited to cousin #2's wedding (or celebration of marriage), and you haven't been hanging out with them, I wouldn't send them anything.

If, in future, they decide to have a reception to which you are invited, then I would gift them the cash.

Wow this is a tough one. Usually I go by the rule of only if I was invited. I would almost say send to Cousin #2 due to past relationship and them gifting at your wedding, but the fact that they didn’t send you guys an announcement card makes me think they maybe wanted to keep the whole thing under wraps - limited to just a few knowing - and not make people feel like they should send stuff. Then again, maybe they’re currently working on a vow renewal celebration for next year, and like Becky said you could wait for that and do it then.

I don’t think there are specific etiquette rules for this. It comes down to this: Do you and husband want to give the couple a gift?

I don't, as I view the gift as a thanks for hosting the party. It probably seen as rude but 🤷🏻‍♀️

We don’t send gifts if we decline the invitation and never if we are not invited to the wedding. The etiquette that we were both raised with (the original Emily Post along with very etiquette savvy elders) says the same. The only exception is the showers hosted by coworkers or fellow church members.

This is a personal decision, I don't think there is really a wrong answer. If it's someone I care about I send a gift regardless of if I was invited. For me the gift is not for the party but to celebrate a milestone. If I m not super close to the person I probably would just send a card. But it's completely up to you if you don't want to send a gift and they are local maybe invite them out for dinner and/or drinks to cheers their marriage. Good luck!

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I also think they may have wanted to dissuade gifts.