Do you get engaged first or set the wedding date first?

I would definitely get engaged first.

Once you set a date and book a venue you’re engaged. You can still have a proposol after that if you wish.

I would get engaged first, wouldn't your family be confused about putting down a deposit and planning a wedding before you're engaged? I don't think I've ever heard of setting a wedding date before getting engaged...because you have to be engaged first to be married I guess? I'd just wait for the engagement, he can get a smaller ring or finance it for now!

We actually set our wedding date first, booked our reception site and church at the same time, and he proposed after that. We made the decision that we were going to get married, he just wanted to plan for a fun surprise proposal. We had very limited date choices due to my teaching schedule, so that’s part of the reason why we made that call. I don’t think we were any less engaged simply because he hadn’t ‘officially’ proposed. We didn’t announce it to any people except for our VIPs unril after the proposal.

That being said, you guys do what makes the most sense to you! I really don’t think there’s a right and a wrong on this as long as you have both made the decision together.

Engaged first. Some people like to set a wedding date first, but I prefer to actually be engaged before planning anything.

I'm pretty sure you guys are engaged already lol. A ring or a proposal dont have to be included in order to be engaged. If you're planning to get married to someone and they're planning to get married to you all the way to you're talking about setting a date. You're engaged. If you want get a silicone ring or very cheap ring for the moment while he saves for a nicer one if that's what he wants. I recommend silicone cause then you have it for working out or camping etc.

It just depends on what is most important to you! I was stressing about dates filling up while FH was waiting for the ring to come in. He surprised me and put a hold on the venue I wanted before the ring was on my finger. I’m so thankful he did because now I get to get married at my dream location in the time of year I wanted.

I would just do what's best for you in this situation and see how you can decide together/compromise. I do have to ask, why do you need so many to call in and help reserve the date? If you know they open in March, why can't you just call the first day and try to reserve what's available (starting with your first choice date)? I'm not sure why multiple people have to be involved in this.

Sorry...you win. Engaged first is more common.

If you’re planning your wedding and booking a church, to me you’re engaged. You can be engaged without a ring.

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Hi Jenna! Thanks for responding. So the reason we need so much help is because the church we want to get married at has a very out-dated procedure for securing a wedding date. Basically, there are one or two employees that answer phone calls on one day in March for summer weddings. Almost all of the summer dates fill up on this one morning. So, the more people you have calling in the better your chance of getting your first or second choice date. It's most common for people to ask all of their friends and family to help for this reason. It's definitely not efficient, but that's how they do it!

One of my friend's husband proposed with a temporary ring, like a single band while he saved for her dream ring. (He's against financing for whatever reason?) Anyway, they started planning and then he surprised her with her dream ring in a really cute way. Now she wears the band whenever they travel abroad and stuff and really loves the sentiment behind it.

Best of both worlds? Good luck! x

View Quoted Comment Thanks for clarifying! That's so odd how they do it, but I understand now why you need that help. In this case it sounds like it won't be until March anyway so if you're really set on having the ring, you guys can work out to get what you can in your budget by then. But kind of along with what other people said, you're technically engaged if you're planning a wedding even if there hasn't been an official proposal. It's one thing to talk about getting married before getting engaged (which people should do), and a whole different thing to actually start making plans. Either way, I say do whatever works best for the two of you. Good luck!

One, you definitely get engaged before you set the wedding date.

two, I don't really think a "ring" is what signifies you are engaged and it sounds like you are already engaged.

three, you can totally get engaged without a ring. lots of couples do this... get engaged and then get a more expensive ring later on

Lastly... I love this because I have texted all my friends and family on more than one occasion just for the sake of an argument with my Fiance lol

Engaged first. You can get engaged without a ring.

Well, you are already engaged as this just means that you are planning to get married so, congrats!

The proposal can come before or after setting the date (or never) it is completely up to the couple to decide what works best for them.

I feel like you're technically engaged if you're already planning to get married. We got engaged first and then once we told everyone and announced it.. we started planning when we wanted to get married.

I would say to get engaged first

Hi there,

My fiance and I had talked about getting engaged but we never formally set a wedding date. He proposed June 14th, 2017 and our wedding is set for June 8th, 2019. We actually had to change our date due to scheduling conflicts.

I think whatever makes you feel the most comfortable is what you should do.

We were engaged first then set a date.
I would get officially engaged first. This would take away any confusion having family help you book the church. He can always do a temporary ring now and continue to save for the ring he wants to give you. At the end of the day always do what is best for you!