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Just Said Yes February 2020

Do weddings bring out the worst in people?

Ally, on February 19, 2020 at 12:13 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19

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Okay. So I’m a bride that is two weeks out from my wedding and if any week was the week where things became a little overwhelming - This would be the week!

I consider myself a pretty laid back person...I have learnt that some things are worth stressing about and others not so much. However, in the recent weeks leading up to the wedding, I have found that people are making my life as inconvenient and annoying as possible, so I just wanted to vent on here and get your advice.

My main problem is my wedding party. One in particular - My self appointment MOH. She is my cousin and younger than the other girls so at first I put it down to having that life experience but now I’m not so sure. My bridesmaid bought their dresses at $50 each (I didn’t expect them to fork out $100’s of dollars for something they wore one day and on top of that they also paid for their alterations. I have paid for their hair and makeup on the day, jewellery, robes, accommodation (long weekend about 4 hours from home) and platters on the day ($200 worth). I’m a little disheartened because I also paid for my own bachelorette party - accommodation, dinner and nobody even offered to buy me 1 drink. I guess, I’m feeling deflated in that, I spent all this money on them and they could even buy me one drink at my bachelorette party. I’mHighly considering asking them to pay the $280 for the extra night of accommodation.
My MOH has not lifted a finger to even ask if I needed any help with anything, and sat there and proceeded to tell me - ‘That the stress of the wedding - at least there is an open bar’...to my face.
I’m just in awe of what to do next...

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19 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on February 20, 2020 at 1:02 AM

Master October 2020
Mandi · on February 19, 2020 at 12:29 AM
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Yeah. I'm pretty sure the universe has just been pushing my buttons for the last year. I'm currently having issues with getting beer to my venue.
Itll all be over soon.
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Super February 2020
Andrea · on February 19, 2020 at 1:48 AM
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I'm about 2 weeks away too, and I'm extremely overwhelmed. I want to cry every second and am super stressed.
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Dedicated September 2020
Sylvie · on February 19, 2020 at 2:21 AM
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Yes Yes I repeat Yes!!! It’s so sad!!!! I know after it’s all said and done... I won’t be speaking to a lot of people because of it!!
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on February 19, 2020 at 7:59 AM
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Two weeks before the wedding daughter was pulling her hair out and kind of having a meltdown. Thankfully, she had a quick check-in with her DJ, who, just because he's a nice guy, asked how she was doing. She told him, and he assured her what she was feeling two weeks out was completely normal, but that he promised by one week out, she'd move on to the "I no longer give a crap" mindset and everything would be perfect! He was right.... Things bothering you right now will likely quickly blow over and won't matter at all! Good luck!
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Savvy May 2020
Molly · on February 19, 2020 at 8:22 AM
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I’ve also noticed this - and paid for my own bachelorette party too! So annoying but, I keep reminding myself the day is about my and my FH 🤷‍♀️
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VIP October 2020
Taylor · on February 19, 2020 at 8:51 AM
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How young is your MOH? She honestly might not know what she's expected to do because she's never done it? That's me playing devils advocate. I'd be very frustrated as well. I don't feel like you can spring $280 on them two weeks out though. You're almost there! Don't let them ruin your day
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Beginner March 2020
Rosene · on February 19, 2020 at 9:54 AM
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I understand how you feel. I am 2 weeks from my wedding as well (March 7), and i think all the money i have been spending is getting to me. The other day my brother borrowed my car and didn't put gas in it, and i am still a little bitter, LOL! It's the little things that add up, and also remember you are under a lot of stress right now. I think you are handling it well; keep your chin up!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 19, 2020 at 11:40 AM
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I remember feeling that two weeks before also! I was frustrated with the amount of people changing their rsvp to no after I’ve already paid and planned for them. But what can ya do, life happens.
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on February 19, 2020 at 2:13 PM
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Unpopular opinion but your MOH only has to show up dressed and sober on your wedding day. Anything extra is just extra.
I am sorry you are going through this.
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Dedicated April 2021
Chanie · on February 19, 2020 at 3:50 PM
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Yes, I agree wedding planning has shown me the worst parts of people. I myself was becoming a grouch about it. Your bridesmaids sound like mine. The two that are out of state are the only ones trying to help give ideas and my poor MOH who has been trying to do everyone on her own. The other 5 girls are just there to be there, I am not stressing over it though and they are paying for everything on their own we are skipping the bach party and most likely the bridal shower.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Ally · on February 19, 2020 at 3:53 PM
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She’s 27. We are the same age, but I’ve had a lot more life experience - she still lives at home, only child. She’s a great person, don’t get me wrong but she’s just good at making things about her. I choose the positivity response. Hehe. Just smile and enjoying the process...both the good and the bad. ☺️
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Ally · on February 19, 2020 at 3:59 PM
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It’s definately a learning curve, isn’t it? My expectations were extremely low for my girls as they are all so different & in different walks of life. Weddings are beautiful but I also think the majority of stress is brought about by others and keeping them happy, which is near impossible. You do what you need to do to enjoy your time with your new husband.
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Ally · on February 19, 2020 at 4:04 PM
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Congratulations on your beautiful wedding! ☺️ I’m sure it’ll be a beautiful day!
LOL. You’re a bigger person than me. I would have lost it given my current state at the moment. You have given me light though. I’m just going to enjoy the process and all that it comes with and enjoy what the day actually means - marrying my best friend. ☺️ All the best. x
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Dedicated July 2020
Aurora · on February 19, 2020 at 4:47 PM
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I am paying for hair, makeup, half the dress cost, many gifts and much dollars to them I am giving between the shower, girls weekend and wedding and I hope they appreciate it. I would have paid for their accommodations if I could afford it but I can't for the wedding. I know people will ask a lot when it is there wedding but I've been one to always feel bad asking and so I give a lot to compensate. My MH is younger and busy with trying to figure out her career, she has little time for me. I enjoy planning though and my fiance and mom have been my best support system.
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Devoted October 2020
Stephanie · on February 19, 2020 at 4:50 PM
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Girl I feel that. I feel like at bachelorette parties the bride should pay for nothing! Just relax, your big day is almost here and everything will be fine!
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Just Said Yes February 2020
Ally · on February 19, 2020 at 6:27 PM
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I understand completely! Sounds like we are in a similar situation. It’s hard paying for a wedding enough as it is but I just think it’s nice if your bridesmaids show interest and responsibility for themselves as any other guest at the wedding would. After all, while it’s nice to have your girls up beside you, it’s also pretty great to be asked to be a bridesmaid.
My family who are going to the wedding have played a more involved role than some of my bridesmaids. They voiced many times that they expected gift boxes and pamper packages, but I thought getting everything for them minus the $50 dress was more than enough. I got them robes and jewellery presents for the day as well.
Two of my bridesmaids have made more of an effort than my MOH, who proceeded to get drunk at my bachelorette and didn’t even spend time with me the entire night. She then voiced her concerns that the other girls left her out (which they didn’t, she just couldn’t be bothered to be involved) and that ‘Ahh, well, there’s an open bar at the wedding to deal with it all’. She said that to me - The very person that is paying for it. But like you, too, I love planning and my MIL to be and my Mum has been a great support system so I’m sure it’ll all work out and be forgotten on the day. ☺️ Now I know what they mean by ‘Bridal balls’. Hehe. All the best with your beautiful day.
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VIP November 2019
Laura · on February 19, 2020 at 9:59 PM
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I ended up paying my own way at my bachelorette. I wasn’t thrilled but what could I do.
2 weeks before my wedding my FILs suddenly took an interest in the wedding after ignoring it for 18 months. They had ideas, and suggestions, and I was like, too little too late! Go away! Eventually I hit the “whatever” point at about a week out and felt much better, lol.
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Dedicated May 2020
Allie · on February 19, 2020 at 11:03 PM
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Absolutely. All of a sudden it seems like everyone has advice and preferences for how they’d like the day to go—without even being asked in the first place 🙄 have to remind myself it’s me and FH day and we will do things how we want! Lol. It’s definitely shown me some people’s true colors for sure
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Expert November 2020
Danielle · on February 20, 2020 at 1:02 AM
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Yes stress does make things worse. hang in there.
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