Do we invite the uncle?

I suggest that your fiance speak with her grandmother face to face and explain the situation. Now if her relationship is very close with her grandmother and she doesn't want to ruin that then she may need to bite the bullet. Typically I would just say that is both of your wedding and if you to do not want certain people to come then you are not obligated to invite them. Is this person really worth spending the amount of food it will cost for the reception? More so like you said if he barely knows her name then really I don't feel like he should be invited but that ultimately depends on the relationship that she wants afterwards with her grandmother. If she and her grandmother not that close and she would not mind if her grandmother did not attend her wedding then it wouldn't matter.

I think that it’s totally fine that you don’t invite him! Her grandmother will maybe be upset at first but will get over it.

I think since the wedding is smaller and no other uncles are being invited then it is fine, will need to explain this to Grandma and hopefully she can learn to be okay with it. You shouldn’t be forced to invite certain people to your wedding just to please others.

View Quoted Comment Thank you; I also agree that whatever is decided (invite/not invite) that she needs to bite the bullet and tell her grandmother. I’m trying my best to stay out of it and let her decide though. I relayed your advice to her

View Quoted Comment I hope it works out. It's disappointing to hear families give ultimatums like that. I get that's her son but if your wife to be doesn't have a relationship with him and chooses not to invite him then that is her decision and grandma should respect.

I agree with everyone, and I just want to state that I'm on the same boat. I know how that feels and I suggest, not to give in to the idea of others. This is your wedding, that knows what you are doing and what you want: and remember, that it's your's special day and not theirs.

If you aren’t inviting any other uncles/aunts then no. You can’t just pick and choose - I’m either all or none and I know it’s hard to do that with family but she should (if she hasn’t already) talk to her grandmother and if the grandmother refuses to talk to you both again because of this then sorry but that’s childish and you guys shouldn’t feel guilty for that at all.

View Quoted Comment She isn’t inviting any aunts or uncles on her side, but I am inviting mine (because we speak often). Does that make a difference?

Why is the grandmother ok with the other aunts/uncles not being invited?

View Quoted Comment This uncle is her child while the others are the children of the grandparents on my fiancée’s father's side

View Quoted Comment No - her side is her side and if she isn’t inviting any from her side I feel like it would be wrong to invite just one ESPECIALLY if she isn’t close to him. I wouldn’t worry about the grandmother - that’s just awful of her to put pressure on you both and have an ultimatum.