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Super October 2020

Do they get an invite?

Fmv, on October 18, 2019 at 8:20 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8

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So we are finishing our guest list and will start writing out save the dates soon.
My FH has a very extended family and is inviting alot of step 3rd cousins, 4th cousins..
His dad has a cousin or 2nd cousin(i cant remember) who we see once every 1 or 2 years. She has 2 young sons who come with.
Well this last time we saw her, she had her kids with her...and then a girl who asked my fiance if they were related?? Well after a quick facebook search it turns out the dads cousin had another older son who is in his 20s and the girl is his wife. My FH had no idea she even had another son, his name, or anything about him. He lives in another state and is in the military.
Fh says we should invite them out of courtesy because we are inviting his mom.
Its irking me, I personally dont see the point of inviting someone you dont know and didnt know existed, and especially since this guy does not know us or anything about us. Essentially a stranger at our wedding.
What are your thoughts? Invite or dont invite?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Catherine, on October 19, 2019 at 7:25 AM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on October 18, 2019 at 8:24 AM
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I wouldn't invite someone to my wedding who I didn't even know existed. On the other hand, I would find it super odd to receive an invitation from someone in the same scenario.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on October 18, 2019 at 8:26 AM
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I think since it’s FHs family, as long as it fits in your budget it should be his call. I wouldn’t personally invite them but we also didn’t invite anyone who was more extended than first cousins (with their kids who are all under 10 and super close to my daughter) and we didn’t even invite all of our first cousins.
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Devoted March 2021
Emma · on October 18, 2019 at 9:04 AM
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I wouldn't invite them personally, especially if its someone he hasn't ever met or, let alone, didn't even know they existed. If its in your budget, however, I think it should be his call. Maybe touch base with the dads cousin or the dad about it too. It does seem a little odd to invite a total stranger for courtesy sake.
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Super July 2020
Stephanie · on October 18, 2019 at 10:48 AM
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Personally, I wouldn't not invite them. I would not invite anyone that I didn't know existed, we haven't spoken or spent time together in 6 months, I am never invited to their major events, and we have no relationship whatsoever.
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Super October 2020
Renee · on October 18, 2019 at 11:28 AM
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I know I'm the odd one out but I think it would be a good chance to meet them (if they can even come to the wedding) I feel like the only time I see my family is at weddings and funerals so I'm all for inviting family so I get the chance to say hi and catch up
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on October 18, 2019 at 11:30 AM
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We had to cut friends we wanted to invite because of budget and space issues. So there's no way I'd be inviting a "family" member that I never knew existed, and hadn't even met! This is a wedding, not a family reunion.
There's nothing wrong with him reaching out to this cousin, introducing himself, and trying to get to know him, if that's what he wants to do. But to invite him to the wedding? Nope. Sorry.
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Dedicated March 2020
Holly · on October 18, 2019 at 12:34 PM
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I personally wouldn't invite them. I have a huge extended family, and only invited out to first cousins or family members that I see regularly. If they didn't even know you guys, I really don't think they would be offended if they didn't receive an invite.
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Beginner June 2021
Catherine · on October 19, 2019 at 7:25 AM
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My FH has a fairly large extended family that he doesn’t see a whole lot. Thankfully we both have the same understanding that we’re not inviting people we don’t have a relationship with, especially since we’re paying for our own wedding. I will say though that if either of our parents are insistent on a guest being invited, and offer to pay for that guest, than by all means. But we’re not paying for people we don’t know.
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