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Lisa
Rockstar July 2022

Do or Ditch: Prenups

Lisa, on June 12, 2023 at 3:42 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 55
Are you planning to sign (or did you sign) a prenuptial agreement before your wedding day?

55 Comments

Latest activity by CM, on July 26, 2023 at 11:55 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    We aren't signing one. I asked my fiance if he wanted to (especially since his salary is substantially more than mine), but he didn't want to.

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  • Nora
    Savvy July 2023
    Nora ·
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    We won’t sign one
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  • C
    CM ·
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    I can understand that there are some circumstances where it makes sense, ie a family business, children from a previous marriage or relationship, or an inheritance or very significant pre-marital assets, though these are usually protected anyway unless commingled. But in general, I see marriage as a what's mine is yours proposition. If someone had ever asked me to sign just because our incomes were currently uneven or if the terms included what was accumulated after marriage, then I would have to think seriously about moving forward.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    We're going to sign one. I don't think we'd need one, especially because if we were to divorce I think it would be amicable. Not that I expect us to divorce, but I want us to be prepared and to protect ourselves. Money can make people hostile.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    We did not. If one of us had significant assets prior to getting married or significant personal debts, then maybe. But neither of us owned a business or property or anything, so it wouldn’t even make sense for us. However, I can see why certain couples may want to, even as simple a reason as not wanting your partner responsible for your student loan debt or something.
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  • Keri
    Keri ·
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    Fun note, prenups don't actually hold much power in some states. Some friends of ours got married before us and wanted a prenup, but after learning it really doesn't do anything in this state, they skipped it. So we never discussed it since it wasn't really an option.
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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    I see nothing wrong with sorting and defining your assets before you're legally attached. Both parties are protecting themselves. Financial transparency is an ongoing process, and sometimes you need advisers to help you know your financial worth.

    I requested a prenup because it seemed to me like the thing to do as a longtime working woman. My husband agreed, but then we got distracted with other more timely issues. Now that we are married, I'd consider a postnup incl estate planning. No two people will always match in terms of building wealth and money goals.

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  • K
    Super September 2023
    Kimberly ·
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    I’m a lawyer, so I think prenups are incredibly important. The fact of the matter is that everyone technically has one; it’s just do you want it to be on your own terms or under the state’s terms? My fiancé and I were planning to do one even though we have nothing complicated and thought it made sense to work through this stuff now while we love each other rather than when we’re in a divorcing state of mind. However, in my state it’s required that each party is represented by a lawyer, so when we started looking into it, it’s a very time-consuming and expensive process. Even if you write your own and just have both lawyers review it, it’s still ridiculously expensive. So even though I know better, we probably won’t be getting one.
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  • Cinthia
    Beginner September 2023
    Cinthia ·
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    I have a student loan. It means that once we get married my partner will be responsible for that?
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    No. Any debt that you incurred before the marriage remains yours.


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  • Cinthia
    Beginner September 2023
    Cinthia ·
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    Oh ok thanks
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I think it can be a tricky conversation for many couples to discuss, regardless of whether they decide to sign one or not. Awesome that you and your fiance talked and came to a decision together!
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    That seems to be a fairly popular choice!
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  • Nora
    Savvy July 2023
    Nora ·
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    Yes it is


    My partner is much richer than me and he wants this
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I totally agree that there are situations where signing a prenup would be very beneficial, especially if children are involved. I see both sides of it otherwise - obviously no one goes into a marriage anticipating a divorce, though having a predetermined agreement on what the couple would do with any assets acquired during the marriage (house, shared bank accounts, etc) might save some time and arguments in court if a divorce were to happen. However, I also do see how a prenup might make people feel upset, especially if the prenup favors one spouse, or it may make people feel like their spouse isn't as confident in the marriage.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    My husband and I had this same thought. It's not a very exciting topic to discuss with someone you're about to marry, but better to have the agreement and not need it, rather than need it and not have it. My husband and I didn't do an official/legal prenup, though we discussed what would be the most fair to both of us in a hypothetical divorce situation, and wrote it down. I don't intend to see that piece of paper ever again, but if we were to end up divorcing (I don't expect that to happen), we'd have that agreement to guide us through it.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    I can certainly see both sides - it makes sense that couples would sign a prenup if there were children involved or any assets (regardless of how significant) they wanted to keep separate, and I also see why couples may choose to not sign a prenup.
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Interesting!! I did not know this. Can I ask which state you're in that doesn't give much power to an existing prenup?
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  • Keri
    Keri ·
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    Virginia. Although our current governor is questionable, our state is generally pretty good. But prenups don't do much. Also, you can only marry a couple as an officiant if you are literally a pastor, priest, or equivalent. We aren't religious and wanted our friends to marry us but that is not an option here. A ton of people get married at the courthouse before their main wedding just because you can't legally have the wedding you want. Isn't that nuts?!
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  • Hannah
    Beginner August 2024
    Hannah ·
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    A prenup is not a bad idea . Plus it's a good discussion to have to discover each other's perspective on money and assets. They say that money is one of the main reasons people get divorced. Why not start dealing with the issue before entering the marriage.

    My 2 cents.

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