Do I tell my parents there will be alcohol at the wedding/reception?

Better to get it out in the open before you wind up with drama or hurt feelings on your wedding day. Just make sure they understand that it's not negotiable but you didn't want them to be surprised. However don't be surprised if they decide not to come to the reception or only stay a short period of time. You can make the choice to serve alcohol but if they are they adamantly against it they also have the choice not to participate.

Well since you guys are footing the bill it shouldn't matter what your parents think about serving liquor at your wedding. Do you feel that your parents would not come to the wedding if they knew there was liquor being served? If you wanted to tell them then I guess you could casually slip it in the conversation somehow. Like maybe when you guys are discussing the wedding drop in "and the winery will be serving 3 of their best selling wines" or something like that.

Tell your parents rather than them showing up and finding out.

I think it will be made a bigger deal if you tell them before hand, as it isn't your special day yet and will be more likely to argue with you. If they find out on the day of I don't think they will make a big deal about it and embarrass you in front of your friends and the rest of your family. If you treat it like no big deal they will most likely follow.

I agree that it would be nice to kind of rip the band-aid off beforehand, but I feel like that puts them in a position of 'parent' and me in a position of 'child'. I'm sure that's how they still want the relationship to be, but quite frankly they don't get a say in this. So if it were any other adult, I wouldn't have a special conversation so they knew that there would be alcohol at a WINERY...and that's where I get stuck.

I wouldn't worry about telling them. You are all adults, and while they might not agree with people's choice to drink, I'm sure that they are capable of handling it. I think that letting them know about it before hands makes it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

I say dont tell them. they arnt paying, why add drama when they can just find out later

Well you guys are adults and are footing the whole bill. You should do what you want. They may not drink but many others do drink. There is nothing wrong with it. I would let them know there will be alcohol but they do not have to drink just because it's there. They should be able to deal with people drinking in front of them. Yes if its at a winery most people will assume that their would be at least wine.

I think it depends on how close you are with your parents. If you can talk to them about anything then yeah, of course bring it up. If you feel awkward around your parents then don't. It's your choice to have alcohol and if they don't like it, they don't have to drink.

I had the same issue. My mother is very religious and doesn't condone alcohol. In the beginning I was very hesitant in telling her that we will serve alcohol, but I figured I'd rather tell her beforehand. Not telling her while KNOWING that she doesn't like being around alcohol was for me disrespectful. She was very cool about it though and as long as she doesn't sit right next to the bar or has to touch the alcohol filled glasses she said she'll be fine.