Do i Say Something

His attendants are his responsibility, but if he's handing that off to you, definitely say something. She needs to try dresses on first before deciding since you can't tell anything from an airbrushed model picture. Go to a local Dillards/Nordstrom/Macy's if the typical bridesmaid dress doesn't work. Stores such as David's do take walk-ins so that is an option. Best of luck.

Nope. His side. His problem.

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We are using Azazie which offers a trying on option, but it is $10 per dress to try on and it doesn't seem like she wants to do that. Azazie has photos of real people with the dress on and on everyone it looks very low cut.

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Unfortunately, he's making me deal with it.

View Quoted Comment I mean, he can't really make you do anything. It is unfair of him to be passing the buck just because he doesn't want to deal with an uncomfortable situation.

Kinda awk but I would have him handle it since it’s his side. Can he ask for a dress that’s more conservative since it’s a church wedding? I offered to pay my BMs back for their $10 try ons. I felt like I owed them since I picked a website instead of a store they could go to. Maybe you could do that if she’s not willing to pay for a try on and you want to see how the dress looks?

What if she wears a shawl or jacket over?

View Quoted Comment I agree, I would make him deal with it. Yes, you allowed YOUR BRIDESMAIDS to choose their own dresses... but she’s not a bridesmaid. If he really forced the issue of you telling her, then I would be completely honest with her - that the groom doesn’t feel comfortable with her choice of dress.

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He refuses to text her back. He said I was the one that made the choice to let her pick her dress so I need to be the one to tell her no. He wanted me to decide what my bridesmaids and her wear. Her fashion sense tends to be the more revealing the better so he didn't think she should have a choice to begin with so he is blaming me for letting her have any say. She is also the same one we told no stripper shoes and she sent us a picture of shoes she wants and they are pretty much the definition of stripper shoes.

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That might be an option. I can suggest it to him.

Just politely tell her that you want her to wear something more modest and maybe offer a few suggestions for her. Maybe your fiancé should be the one telling her but since he won’t it leaves it up to you. Good luck!

I agree your FH should be dealing with this. It's his friend, his groomswoman. It's not unreasonable to let a bridal party pick their own dresses.


However, it may be a bit awkward for a man to tell a woman a dress is too revealing. Depends on their relationship.
I would text the groomswoman saying thank you for checking in. We're looking for a more conservative look because we are getting married in a church. Suggest adding a panel to the neckline if she absolutely can't find anything else.

I would just say that her dress doesn't fit with the other girls. And then I'd send 3-5 approved dresses and tell her those options work best and you can't wait to see which of those she chooses.


I'd worry less about the shoes unless they'll be really visible. If they are... Then announce to all the girls that to have some similarity to each other that you've decided to go with x color and heel...

So that part of their attire matches. Then say how that would make you so happy.

I would blame it on the church. Just tell her that the church warned you that bridesmaids are expected to be dressed modestly. “I love that dress, but ugh the church...blah blah” A little white lie won’t hurt anyone!

His concern, he should voice his opinion in a polite way to her and not put this on you.

He chose her to be a groomswoman and he’s the one who doesn’t like it, so it shouldn’t be on you to say anything and he shouldn’t be telling you to deal with it, whether you said to decide what they were going to wear or not. I would make him text her with some options that would better fit your vision for what you both want her to look like and ask her to pick one of those. If he says no to that, I’d personally say then I guess she’s wearing the dress she chose. But that’s just me.