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Stephanie
Beginner May 2023

Do i need to have a wedding registry?

Stephanie, on December 21, 2022 at 6:31 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
My FH comes from an Asian family. I am Caucasian. He has told me that for Asian weddings, family members typically gift the bride and groom money rather than doing the typical wedding registry and purchasing the couple gifts. Our wedding is very small, family only about 40 people mostly from his side as my family is very small. We were not planning on having a wedding registry as we feel like there is not really anything that we need for our home. I know some do a honeymoon fund instead but we have already booked and paid for it. but one of my family members recently asked me if we have a wedding registry set up, initially I was just going to tell her that we weren’t planning to have one. But then I began thinking is that strange to not have one? I don’t want to put a wedding registry on our Wedding website because most of our guests are from my future husband side and they are likely planning to already gift us money so I don’t want it to seem like we are also asking for gifts. However, my side of the family is used to purchasing gifts for the bride and groom…. Would it be understood by his family members that they do not need to purchase anything from the wedding registry if they are going to gift us money? I just want to avoid misunderstanding somehow without having to individually tell everyone on his side to ignore the registry. Maybe I just put a separate card in my families invitations with a link to the registry? thank you for any advice you can give!

5 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on December 23, 2022 at 4:52 PM
  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You never put info about a registry on a wedding invite. In Asian culture, cash is given as the sole gift. The people on his side probably won't even think to look for a registry. It's not weird to skip the registry.
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Don't put anything about gifts anywhere in the invitation envelope. It sounds like doing a registry might be more hassle than it would be worth, due to the confusion anyway.

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  • M
    VIP August 2021
    Michelle ·
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    Many couples do without because they already have their home set up. People will gift you as is their custom, e.g. people who gift money will not change their minds. But, overall it is always good etiquette to never discuss gifts. I think a honeymoon fund is even an awkward ask.

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  • S
    Devoted September 2022
    Sara ·
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    You could always create a registry with just a few items on it. Some "upgrades". Since someone has already asked you about a registry, they will look for one. I didn't think I wanted a registry either, but decided I had to make one otherwise people would be buying me all kinds of stuff I didn't really want. The registry helped guide them!

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Like Sara said, you could create a registry containing “upgrades” that you wouldn’t normally buy on your own. No need to worry about his side. They will either not look for it or ignore it if they see it. The presence of a registry will not make most people feel an “obligation”. We had a registry with nice upgrade items on it, and some people still decided to give us cash instead. The registry can help save you from getting duplicates or things you just would never even use, and your guests will decide whether or not they want to use it.
    Congrats and good luck! 😊
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