Do i let it go or address it?

To be honest, I think you got a pretty good deal! Ordinarily posts about other bridal party members are to rant about bridesmaids or MOHs who are not pulling their weight, contributing to anything, etc, but it seems like you got the complete other end of it – the co MOH seems to be very organised and putting things together. As someone who gets annoyed by others not pulling their weight, she sounds like a dream to me, haha.

Notwithstanding this, I can appreciate that you were looking forward to being involved in the planning of events, after all, it’s all fun stuff! I think you need to tell the co MOH that you all wanted to have a little bit more involvement in things and would appreciate if she could actually consult everyone else when making decisions and allow you guys to help out with things. I don’t think it’s a huge issue – I think she just needs to be made aware that while what she’s doing isn’t wrong, it’s excluded the rest of the bridal party from taking part in something you all actually want to be part of.

I am so sorry you're dealing with that! It's a little crazy that she wouldn't take your thoughts into consideration.
I agree that she should be calculating what each of your shares should be. It would be one thing if she got the bride a present and then said "Oh it's fine I got one" because then the rest of you could go in on a present as well. But, what happens if you give her more than it costs and it turns out she bought the cheapest stuff but, told you it was expensive so you'd give her all this money.

This sounds bad but, I would put my foot down and tell her I won't contribute till she calculates your share, which sounds like what you are planning already. Maybe she doesn't realize that she doesn't have to do it all herself, however, when you all ask for her to be transparent and she's not, there's really no excuse.

Sorry that this is so frustrating for you. I hope you are able to figure this all out.

I honestly would not say anything for risk of causing drama. I was a bridesmaid of a friend and her sister was MOH. When it came to the bachelorette I had been used to help planning it and contributing to it but her and her mother basically did everything even though I always offered help. It was frustrating but ya know what less money out of my pocket as they coordinated and paid for it all.

I know it is frustrating and if she wants to handle stuff then I would not even offer to pay. Now be upset if she asked for money and did not ask for your opinions. I agree you want things to be a more collaborative piece but for the bridal shower just let it go because you ladies need to get along for the big day.

Are you all planning the bachelorette? If so, then maybe that is the time to nicely say to her that you appreciate all she did for the shower but you would love it if all ladies helped and contributed for the that.

That's super frustrating! It seems like she's doing it so that she can be like "oh I did everything" which is super annoying. I think the best thing to do is address it with her and let her know that you all are very appreciative of all she's doing but tat everyone wants to contribute and help plan rather than just contribute money. The petty side of me says for you and the other bridesmaids to plan the next event before she has a chance to lol

Melle, that is frustrating and understandable why it's bothering you. Have any of you told her or the bride?? Like had a conversation such as " look we really appreciate you doing all these things and getting them done but we would greatly appreciate you communicating with us more. We know we aren't physically there to help make things but would like to contribute either financially and have opinions and ideas we would like to include." That sort of thing. I am really glad that you are taking interest in things because typically BMs don't really. I hope you are able to have a conversation and hope it gets better!! Best of luck!!

I see why that can be frustrating. I am a lot like that maid of honor lol. I hate getting help with things and would much rather do everything on my own. I would however have a conversation with her about how you are feeling.