Do I invite the minister?

I'm not sure what the actual rules are, but my guess is no. This is his job. If he's not a friend, he doesn't need to come to the party, unless you really want him to be there. I think inviting to the RD may be awkward too, as those are usually more intimate. Do what works for you, but I don't think you should feel obligated.

I guess that is true, we are paying him for his services. It is kinda hard because I grew up Catholic and in the church, you know the priest very well and he would be invited to the wedding. However, we decided not to get married Catholic so I do not really know the "rules" to what to do with the minister, especially since I will not know him very well.

I will be inviting our priest, but more than likely he will not make it b/c he has another wedding after ours.

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We do know him though and he is a really nice person. Maybe by the time you get married you have developed a relationship with him and then decide if you do/don't invite him.

He;d of course need to be at the rehearsal, but not necessarily the rehearsal dinner. And you don't have to invite to the wedding. The only thing I've heard is that if your using a JP you should invite them to stay after the ceremony, which is what we'll do. He will be at the rehearsal and will have dinner with us since its all at the same location and we're just having Subway, Chips and Cookies and Soda. And for the wedding, he'd be invited to stay if he felt comfortable enough. I know he'll know people there because I met him there. LOL. It's a club. So its all up to you and FS on how you want to handle it.

I just don't want to be like the only bride who hasn't invited him and then I look like a brat, haha. I just don't think that I am going to really establish a relationship with him, so why should he be there?

I'm pretty sure that etiquette states that you invite the minister/priest to the rehearsal dinner AND the wedding reception. It's up to them to decide whether or not to come. Don't quote me on that because i could be wrong, but I think that's what etiquette says.

Yes

I found these articles:

http://ezinearticles.com/?Wedding-Minister-Etiquette&id=1250642

http://www.weddingbee.com/2006/08/29/open-question-inviting-the-minister/

With that being said, I really need to find my wedding etiquette book!!!

Thanks for the articles heavnsnt! It still seems like a wishy washy subject, even with those articles. I don't want to seem rude and not invite him, but I do not even know the guy!

As the wife of a minister, I can partially answer that....you don't HAVE to send an invite, though its nice to get them, he puts them in a scrapbook. As far as the rehearsal dinner goes, we've been invited to most of them, it gives him a chance to get to know the couple a little better, along with their families, but its not necessary. Depending on the time of the rehearsal, I try to have a meal for him beforehand, if its an early rehearsal (5 - 6:30), I take him someplace right after, or have something in the truck for him, because he's diabetic. He has been invited to stay after the wedding in most cases, and we do stay for some, but we have one coming up where there is a noon wedding and another one at 3:00 across town....we'll be busy that day!

I found my etiquette book!!

These are the people that should be invited to the rehearsal:

-parents and stepparents

-child attendants and their parents

-anyone performing a reading or musical performance during the ceremony

-siblings outside of the wedding party and their guests

-the wedding coordinator and his/her assistants

-you may allow your wedding party members to bring their spouses, partners, or dates but encourage them to leave their kids at home

These is what is says for the rehearsal dinner:

-everyone who attends the rehearsal is invited to the dinner

-this includes the officiant and his/her guest, as well as the wedding coordinator and his/her assistant

-child attendants are invited, along with their parents

-the host may invite OOT guests to attend the rehearsal dinner, as is quickly becoming a new etiquette trend ... guests may expect to attend

It also says to: keep the guest list to a minimum, though, to allow relaxed mingling time for all

Quoted from: "The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette: Expert Advice on What's Proper and What's Not" by Sharon Naylor.

Well, then if you don't want to invite him.. don't! Hope nobody gets me wrong but, would you invite any other vendor just b/c somebody else said so? He is a vendor after all and charging for his services (hmm.. or at least my church is charging us).

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Don't feel obligated!

I agree with yady I just put the etiquette stuff up there because I know that a lot of us at least try to follow some of it. I don't think it's absolutely necessary that you invite them

You guys are all rockstars! I was just questioning this recently as we have just sent out our invites. The rehearsal dinner seems to be a no brainer, since the minister is at the rehearsal; but the wedding didn't seem so obvious. I had the same look on everything as yady. If I wouldn't invite the florist then why invite the minister. That brings me to another question, though. Do you put the photographer and videographer on the guest list even though they are working at the wedding?

Invite him to the rehearsal dinner but no guest. don't invite him to the reception. it would be like having a stranger there, no?

We have only met our minister in planning our wedding and we are inviting him and his wife to both. I think it would be weird to have him at the rehersal and then have him leave while everyone else stayed for dinner. And for me, I think it is rude to ask him to perform our ceremony and then not ask him to come celebrate with us. He is an important part of making our day special!

Send the invitation to the church and let him decide whether or not he wants to come. Since you don't really know him, unless you are asking him to bless the food before dinner, there's really no reason for him to be there. My hubby is a minister and he usually doesn't like to go to the receptions. Depending on his relationship with the couple he may stay for dinner or just bless the food and then leave. I've only known him to stay for the duration at a couple of weddings.

Also, if the wedding is on a saturday (which most are), saturday is a study day for him so the sooner he can get out of there the better. Just trying to give you the other perspective.

You might even call him up and simply ask "will you be joining us for dinner?"