Do i invite the Ex- who is also my fh son's mother

This sounds awkward. Family is family, but that applies to the children and your fiancé, not her. Plus your FH doesn't want her there. If his son is in the wedding, he will be cared for and looked after so I can't see any other reason to invite her.

Hm tough one. I saw a post similar to this on another forum and I do think some people were saying it’s best to extend the invite because it is always helpful to stay on good terms with the mom of your FH son. Maybe you could talk to her and see what she thinks so that if she isn’t invited she won’t feel slighted or caught off guard. She may not even want to come and she might feel it would be awkward too. I can’t tell from your post if she’s expecting an invite, but it wouldn’t hurt to just have a conversation with her about it, especially since you’re on good terms right now.

It would be a no for me lol especially if y'all aren't actually friends. I think it would be different if you had a relationship with her but it seems like it's only for the kids

Hi ! I know some couples in a similar situation, but invitation of the ex to the wedding, that was always a big NO. Doing stuff for the kids was for them one thing, and a wedding day of the couple, it's another...

Does he want her there? Take his cue and don’t invite her especially he isn’t close. The fact they share a child is moot because she’s not family. Even if she was, she still wouldn’t be under obligation to invite. Never send obligation invites. I don’t her attendance being a productive thing because it is not a family bbq type event.

If he doesn't want her there then don't. But if he doesn't care and you want to then you should. You aren't obligated but its what ever feels best for you in this situation.


So my situation for example, I have a son from a previous relationship and was never married to his father. I get along great with his father and his fathers girlfriend, and my fh also gets along great with them. So we chose to invite them and their infant daughter because for us it really is like they are extended family.
I wouldn't worry too much about it if you don't invite her.

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I'm not sure if she is expecting one. She posted a video on facebook about a couple that did a similar thing-but they were previously married. The husband received a wedding invitation from his ex wife and he said he was going to go.... So confusing lol

Use the same criteria you use for everyone else: If you really want them there, and would miss them if not there. If one of you does not, and you see her plenty of times a year to fulfill the general family friendship, invite her to a birthday or cookout, not your wedding.

Interesting question. I too have considered inviting my bonus son’s mother to our wedding. We get along great, and she is married and the 4 of us and our families all get along. I haven’t spoken to my FH about it yet, but it has crossed my mind. There really isn’t a reason for her to be there, but I myself consider her family and she definitely respects me as the “other mother”. So I say if everyone is comfortable with it then why not.

If FH doesn’t see a reason to have his ex there, don’t have his ex there. I know it’s important to maintain a relationship for coparenting, but, this is HIS ex so should be his call.

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Thank you Steph! I been going back and forth. You look at them as family, but also a situation we didn't have a choice in. We chose to make the grownup decision and be the best co parents we can be. It just happened its been going really great and we do a lot of stuff together. I enjoy it, I just don't know if I would miss her not being there- but feel like it was important enough to consider. So challenging hahaha

View Quoted Comment I Definitely understand that struggle! I say if your FH doesn’t want to , then just leave it alone. Ultimately I don’t think ours will be invited, but I wouldn’t mind it if he decided to. It is a conscious, grown up decision to do what’s best for the kids and whether or not she is invited I applaud you for your efforts in maintaining a positive relationship and environment for the kids.