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Fmv
Super October 2020

Do i invite that one person

Fmv, on May 16, 2019 at 8:27 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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So im trying to decide if i should invite one co worker.
She is new to the office, works one day a week for 4 hours. I really dont get a chance to talk to her and she does not try to talk to me. Shes been working here for about a month. Im not getting married untill 10-2020
Do i invite her and her husband?

Disclaimer: i work at a small dental office and the doctor i work for who is my boss told me he is going to catholic guilt me so that i invite her and all of my past co workers and their spouses. He basically came out and told me he didnt understand why i wouldnt invite my old co workers who are in their 60s and 70s who i havent talked to in over a year....
Yeah...thats what im dealing with

15 Comments

Latest activity by Fmv, on May 16, 2019 at 1:01 PM
  • Heather
    Expert August 2020
    Heather ·
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    If you don't talk to her I wouldn't invite her; personally, if I was her I would not feel like I should be invited, and would be shocked to get an invitation, but I wouldn't;t go, especially if I didn't know the bride and groom. Unless your boss is going to pay for all your coworkers (current and past) he shouldn't try to guilt you into anything!

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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    Um wow. Ok. Is it your boss’s wedding? Is he paying for it?

    I think a great great option here would be to tell him that your guest list is incredibly small, only immediate family. Don’t invite him and then he won’t guilt you into inviting people you don’t want there.

    This is honestly so strange...
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  • Future Mrs. K
    VIP June 2019
    Future Mrs. K ·
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    Completely agree with this

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  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
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    Completely agree with this.

    OP: Don't be a push over. You and your FH control your guest list. I would be 100% put off by anyone else besides my parents telling me if someone should be invited and even then it's a lot. People who assume and are pushy are automatically not supposed to be invited for being rude... that's my philosophy, boss or not. Family and friends come first.

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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    That is so very annoying. I share an office with a 67 year old woman. I pray everyday she retires. I would never invite her to my wedding lol. Your boss is being a real d head. Maybe that girl won't even be working there by then!
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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    Uhh yess. He is very strange. When he said he was going to guilt me into it, me and my co worker who im friends with were like wtf.
    At this point when he said this, he didnt even know if he was invited or not. I guess he just assumed. Even my co worker said to him whu would she invite someone who she hasnt talked to in over a year
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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    Yess i couldnt agree more. I replaced a 73 year old. She fills in from time to time and he thinks i should invite her. I said hell no. I dont even know her on a personal level
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  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    Lol! Idk what is up with your boss. Odds are that 73 year old woman wouldn't even want to come! I can imagine this is a very awkward situation for you. It is really inappropriate of your boss to say these things.
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  • Mandy
    VIP May 2019
    Mandy ·
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    I'm not inviting my co-worker who I currently share an office with. I'm not inviting my boss. I'm inviting 4 people I work with and two of those are married to each other. I had to draw the line somewhere or my guest list would be huge.

    So, I wouldn't invite her. I wouldn't invite the past co-workers. I might not even invite the boss because of his attitude. Maybe just let him/them know it's going to be a fairly small wedding because of costs and large families but throw out the idea of going to a lunch together to celebrate.. or a bridal shower at work.. or something.

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  • Andrea
    Dedicated October 2019
    Andrea ·
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    It is wholly inappropriate for your boss to be pushing you to invite coworkers of past and present to your wedding. Don't let him push you into inviting and paying for someone you don't want to invite or even know on a personal level. Unless he is personally paying for your coworkers to be there then he should not have a say or influence.

    One of the supervisors in my office told me it's proper office etiquette to invite all coworkers to my wedding. However, out of the 22 people in my particular office I'm only inviting 6 that I am close to and would consider friends outside of the office. There is no way I would pay for people I don't want there nor would I feel bad about it.


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  • Bride2020
    Devoted May 2020
    Bride2020 ·
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    “That one person” is like...your cousin you used to be close with but you haven’t talked to in a few years, not a new coworker. dont invite her, don’t invite those 60 year olds you havent seen in forever.
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  • Tessa
    Devoted November 2019
    Tessa ·
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    Just say no!! That is SO bizarre. I wouldn't feel any guilt. I mean, unless he is paying for your wedding, he should have zero say.

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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    Honestly at this point I wouldn’t even talk about your wedding at work, and hope he forgets about it. Tell your friends you work with not to mention it in front of him anymore.
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  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    You could also tell him if he’s looking for an office reunion party that he can throw one himself with his funds. Haha sorry the way your boss is acting is incredibly upsetting to me for some reason.
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  • Fmv
    Super October 2020
    Fmv ·
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    Haha i know what you mean. He said this about a month ago about guilting me into inviting them...it literally has not left my mind since. I mentioned it to my co worker today and she literally was like omg it still annoys me that he said that.
    But you are right. Im just going to stop talking about the wedding at work...and if he brings it up again im going to have to have a talk with him. Because no lol he is not contributing money to the wedding lol
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