Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes August 2020

Do i invite a friend who has been mia recently?

Paige, on February 13, 2020 at 4:13 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 6

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi all. Been fighting this in my head for months and itd be nice to have unbiased answers. Sorry this is so long. I'm half venting.

So. I have this friend who helped me get out of a past abusive relationship over 5 years ago. He was my rock afterwords and we spent every minute partying and hanging out and having deep discussions. However the last two years of us been rocky. We had some miscommunication issues when it came to his birthday and I went out of my way to throw him a party but he never showed up cause of a girl friend who was acting out. I stopped talking to him for 6 months after that. We've attempted to hang out several times since then. But every time our schedule clashes or what not.
Our most recent attempt was NYE. My fiance and I went uptown to watch our towns veruson or the ball drop. We said to meet at 9 o'clock. He communicates the whole night with me about traffic and where he is etc. But somehow he got the meet up spot wrong which was impossible cause I gave him the exact streets. Finally 12 came and my fiance and I went home and he never showed up. He was too busy with his friend and wanting to drink. So now I'm trying to decide if I should invite him because of everything he did for me in the past or to just call it a day. My mom says to hold on to him. My fiance is staying out of it and says do what is right.

Flag
Hide content

6 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on February 13, 2020 at 5:48 PM

Super September 2021
Sharon · on February 13, 2020 at 4:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
That's a tough situation. Do you want him there? Whether or not he flakes out how would you feel if you didn't extend the invitation to him? Personally I say invite him. If he doesn't show that tells you how he feels about your friendship. Has he always been like this or do you think maybe he's jealous or having a hard time accepting that you're getting married?
- Reply
Expert May 2021
Rachael · on February 13, 2020 at 5:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would extend the offer its only one or two more people in the grand scheme of everything. if he doesn't come to your wedding then I guess you know where your friendship stands
- Reply
Master January 2021
Andrea · on February 13, 2020 at 5:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'd probably just send him the invite and go from there. But honestly, this guy does not seem like a good friend from what you're describing.
- Reply
Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 13, 2020 at 5:32 PM
Flag

Hide content
Do you see yourself being friends with him again in the future? If so, I’d invite him. If not, don’t bother.

I had one friend who had been super flaky for the past few years but I’d known here for like 15 years so I didn’t want to just NOT invite her and then later on wonder if the friendship may have lasted if I had invited her, you know? So I did extend an invite, she predictably didn’t RSVP. When I reached out asking if she was coming, she said she lost the invitation and asked when it was again. I told her, and she said she “might” be able to come. I told her I needed to let the caterer know by the following Monday (it was like a Wednesday when I texted her I think). She said she’d let me know no later than Friday. Friday passes, weekend passes, Monday passes. I text her on Tuesday and say sorry I hadnt heard from you and I had to give my headcount in yesterday so I couldn’t count you in. She honestly didn’t seem to care at all. She was like “oh darn, sorry yeah I’m still not sure if I can come. We’ll catch up another time soon!” 🙄🤷🏻‍♀️

Annoying, but now at least I feel like I did everything I could, you know?

But if you don’t feel like you care if he’s in your life anymore and don’t think you’ll have regrets, then don’t bother inviting him.
- Reply
Beginner October 2020
Courtney · on February 13, 2020 at 5:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
Friendships can become a little difficult when you're in a committed relationship (or engaged/married) and your friend is single. I know that sounds bad, but it seems like your friend's priority is drinking/partying and you are looking for a more meaningful friendship than a boozy one. If it were me, I'd still invite him. He will grow up eventually and hopefully you two can maintain your friendship until then
- Reply

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on February 13, 2020 at 5:48 PM
Flag

Hide content
If you're interested in continuing the friendship, I'd invite him and just not expect him to come. If you aren't, that's totally fine, don't invite him. I would imagine he would RSVP "yes" then not show up like prior events.
- Reply