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Just Said Yes July 2018

Do I have to tell vendors I choose someone else?

Leah, on September 24, 2017 at 7:59 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22

I recently met with a vendor and during the meeting she asked me when I would let her know if I was going to hire her. I told her we would decide by the end of September. We haven't found another photographer yet but we both decided that she wasn't the right fit for us. Do I need to reach out to her and tell her we aren't going to hire her? Or should I wait and see if she reaches out to us at the end of the month?

22 Comments

Latest activity by FutureMrsN14, on October 1, 2017 at 3:16 PM
  • Natalie
    VIP June 2017
    Natalie ·
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    No. I wouldn't.

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  • Beachy
    VIP November 2017
    Beachy ·
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    If she keeps reaching out (some of them pester you), I would mention that you decided not to go with her. Its polite but it will keep them out of your hair. Eventually, if you don't tell them this, they will get the hint. its up to you.

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
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    I think it's polite. Especially since you told her that you would. All it requires is a quick email saying that while you like her work, you've decided to go in another direction. That way if someone else approaches her about the date she knows not to check in with you.

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  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
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    Since she asked about the timeline for hearing back from you, I think you should let her know that you aren't hiring her.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    When you apply for a job, do you want to be notified YES or NO? Or do you like to be left hanging, wondering if you said something wrong, debating whether to call or e-mail to follow-up?

    Vendors are used to hearing NO. We don't pout or try to convince you to change your mind. I don't even ask WHY?

    I'd rather hear NO than be left wondering -- not knowing if I should be following up with other couples for that date.

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  • Maria
    Expert September 2017
    Maria ·
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    Since you gave her an expectation of when she should hear back from you, it would be polite to send her an email to let her know. I'm sure she'd rather be told "no" than to be left hanging. I think she'd feel more comfortable opening the day back up for future potential clients as well.

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  • Susan
    VIP December 2017
    Susan ·
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    I let all of the vendors we met with that we didn't choose know. Even just a quick, "thank you so much for your time, we enjoyed meeting with you, however we have decided to go in a different direction" email is fine.

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  • Brittney
    Expert June 2018
    Brittney ·
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    As long as it took you to write this post, you could've just responded to her. Just an observation.

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  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    Since you agreed on a follow-up date I definitely think you should reach out and let her know. You don't have to say "we haven't picked someone else, we just don't like you." Something as simple as "Thanks for taking the time to sit down with us last week. I wanted to let you know that we are going another direction and you can release any hold you might have had on our date. Best of luck to you." Boom. Done.

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  • lilam18
    Expert July 2018
    lilam18 ·
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    You don't have to, but it's a nice courtesy. Think about if you're contacting a vendor and they're booked on your date - wouldn't you prefer that they respond and let you know rather than leave you hanging?

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  • Willbewilkins
    Expert December 2017
    Willbewilkins ·
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    Definitely let her know. It's the polite thing to do and takes no effort at all. Leaving her hanging would be very inconsiderate.

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  • Jay Farrell
    Jay Farrell ·
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    It's common courtesy if they spent time with you and took an interest in you. Just tell them thank you, but you've gone with a provider with a different style, nuff said.

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  • Kayla
    Super November 2017
    Kayla ·
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    No you don't have to. I only let them know if they took the time to reach out to me.

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  • VC
    Super April 2018
    VC ·
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    You should definitely let her know, just in case she's saving the date for you and waiting for your decision. She could potentially have another bride asking...

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  • Mj
    Devoted June 2019
    Mj ·
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    You don't have to but to keep them from messaging you and to be conciderate of their time they may try to spend reaching you, just quickly say you found someone else. It's just the polite thing to do.

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    I think it's rude not to. Honestly- just treat them like a human. How would you like it if a venue kept you on the hook about whether or not they could accommodate your date? If someone tells you no, then they move on.

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  • M
    Beginner May 2018
    Mystic Jessie ·
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    You told her you would. Keep your word.

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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    Please do. Vendors are used to hearing no. No need to be rude about it

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    Last evening, I got the nicest 'thanks, but no thanks' e-mail. I gave them my best wishes.

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  • FutureMrsN14
    Super July 2018
    FutureMrsN14 ·
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    I told our vendors a variation of 'thank you for your time, but we've decided to go in another direction' but I felt it was polite to let them know so they weren't holding our date, etc.

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