Do I have to invite my sister to the wedding?

We've got a lot of these today. I stand by my opinion in almost every situation: No. You are not obligated to invite anyone. If your sister is inevitably going to cause drama on your big day, it's not necessary for you to invite her.

However, like I've said before (lol), if you patch things with her down the road and she grows up to become a full blown adult who doesn't steal from their family, will you one day regret her not being there?

I gave her another chance after the cancer thing and she proved she hasn't changed. She's almost 27. She probably isn't going to change at this point. I don't want her in my life, around my children or in my home (wedding is on our acreage). I'm torn because I don't want to hurt my mom or for my mom to feel like she has to pick sides.

If you choose not to invite her, I'd definitely consider getting security for your wedding, who know exactly what she looks like and how she behaves. You don't want her to show up, cause drama, and add more fuel to the fire that seems to be between you guys.

ETA: Just saw your comment. You definitely need to be open with your mom (start by telling her you're engaged!) and just let her know your reasons for not inviting her if that's what you choose. Tell her she doesn't have to and shouldn't pick sides, and that the decision was what was best for you. I bet she'll understand, especially if she knows the history between you.

You should talk to your mom about your feelings. while you dont HAVE to invite her your mom needs to at least understand before your day. based on your post at least. help your mom understand brfore you go public this can help avoid her hurt feelings.

I'm not too concerned about her showing up. She lives with my mom halfway across the country and can't even afford her own toilet paper.

My main concern is my mom. I don't want her to have to face the backlash of my sister not being invited.

I'm not inviting my sister. No way in hell.

My sister would show up to my wedding and completely destroy my day. My parents completely agree and understand why she's not invited.

I'm completely fine with my sister being pissed. The way she behaves, and the way she talks to my son is unacceptable.

ETA: words

No. Don't invite her. I can see this as being MAJOR drama for the next year. The question is, will your mom put up a fight for you to invite her?

We had a similar situation. One of my husband's nephews is a heroin addict and has stolen thousands of dollars from his father, not to mention lots of other illegal things I won't get into. He refused rehab so no invite. We also left word with the venue that if he shows up, he is not to be let in and they had our permission to call the police if necessary. Thank goodness it didn't come to that and his father didn't dare ask us to invite him.

ETA: Sounds like your sister is pathological and it won't change without therapy.

@CJ My other sister said something similar. Lol

I'm dead to my sister as well and struggled with this same thing. At the end of the day-it's your wedding. If she is going to make it unenjoyable and cause drama, then she shouldn't be there. I knew that I would be so stressed worrying about what my sister would do to that I just can't have her there. My mom understood. I think she realizes it won't end well if my sister is there. Best of luck to you!!

You don't have to invite her. But, your wedding is a ways away. No need to solidify a guest list right now.

@firstone Very similar situations. We've all been suspicious of drug use at various points because of several reasons I won't go into. That's a whole other concern. Plus her current BF is a known heroin user and may or may not even be clean. It's just a big mess. If she didn't live with my mom it would be easy. There's no way in hell I'd invite her.

Drug abusers are very good liars. Not saying that's the case at all, but it's good to be aware of it.

I totally get your dilemma and I'm so sorry you even have to have this worry spoil your happy time. One word of caution: Please DO NOT invite her because you think she won't come. That could backfire and then it's a whole 'nother sh*t show.

Whatever you decide, I wish you and your FH heartfelt congratulations and a very happy life together.

I'm not too worried about her behavior. I don't think she'd do anything crazy. I just don't want her around me or my kids. And I don't want her in my house. I'm not perfect myself, but I've fought very hard to break the cycle of abuse and bad decisions in my family. I feel like if I let her back into my life I'm in a way enabling her to continue abusing everyone. I'm the only one in my family that doesn't entertain her BS for long. Although our other sister is about there now.

My sister and I aren't close and she has told me almost the same things. She was invited, but she and her husband aren't coming anyway, which is FINE with me. You don't have to invite anyone you don't want to

My sister is not invited to my wedding due to actions of the past. We live next door to each other and I just live my life for me and my kids. You have to do what you feel is right for you.

It is your wedding if you do not want her there do not invite her. I have one sister who is in my wedding party and another who isn't invited and she knows it. I have a biracial daughter and after she was born and named, my sisters husband named his mutt dog after my baby girl because he thought biracial couples were wrong (not a typical dog name) It is your day don't let other people decide your guest list. You shouldnt have to walk on egg shells because of other people's decisions

Invite her. She's probably not going to come.

You said it yourself... you don't want her in your life.

I made the tough choice to not invite one of my sisters as well. It did hurt my mom, but we talked about it well in advance. I explained my feelings and allowed myself to hear out all that my mom had to say. Luckily, she understood and respected my opinion and even though she would like my sister there, she understands that having her there would be detrimental to my and FH's day. Sister is still invited to Christmas and other family functions hosted by others, but she never comes anyway.

I'm not inviting one of my sister's. My parents might have a thing or two to say about it but it's my day, so they'll have to get over it.