Do i have to invite my fmil to my bachelorette weekend?

I don’t think it’s all that common for moms (mother of the bride or groom) to be invited. Maybe I’m wrong. If your mom wasn’t your MOH would you invite her? If not then I don’t see why you’d invite your future mother in law. What does your fiancé think?

Mothers generally don't attend the bachelorette

I think it’s ok to not invite her

So I agree, it’s not traditional for mothers to attend or even be MoH, but my mom in particular is my best friend and my rock and I would never have one without her there. I’m just afraid that my FMIL being manipulative and attention seeking as she is (I wish I had better words to use for it without sounding mean or harsh, sorry) she will somehow make me out to be an awful person for not asking her. It’s complicated & hard to explain the way she is so I apologize if I’m all over the place with this. 😕

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Will everyone other than your mom be around your age? If so, I don't think your FMIL has any reason to feel excluded in this situation. That doesn't mean she won't be upset, but it's better than having her there, causing problems. At least when other people hear about it they'll roll their eyes at her.

Will FMIL have any daughters and/or relatives going? If so invite her and let them deal with her. If not, Maybe she won't know your Mother went,

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I have the same relationship with my mother and she will be coming to my bachelorette (she is a wild woman and a lot of fun anyway!). I'm not inviting my future MIL because she lives far away / I don't think she would enjoy herself as she's quite conservative.

In this case, I think you need to stand your ground that your FMIL is not attending, but have a chat to FH and tell him that she's not invited (i.e. because it'll be inappropriate etc) so that you can have his support if she tries to spin things a certain way.

This does not sound like a bachelorette, that is a party planned and given by friends, where you may pay basic transportation, but they pick up your share of costs and split them, so it is a gift. You are doing the planning, and if you host the party things, or you and mom, and contribute equally on expenses of travel and housing, it becomes a mutual mini vacation. What you suggest would be wrong if your Bridesmaids were throwing the party, and you added on. But if you ( or you and mom) want to plan a women's weekend for the friends and family of your single days, you can do it. And FMIL cannot point to it as wedding/ that she should be invited. And inviting your other friends not involved in or invited to the wedding, is fine if you are not holding it under the banner of wedding, or calling it your bachelorette. I was not interested in the party girls/ bars type bach people were talking about for me, and some close friends were leaving the area before my wedding, cross country or overseas for school, their own wedding, or military service. Not invited to the wedding. But I let it be known that I was not accepting a bach. party, after friends in 3 areas had each given showers. And planned a women'd weekend that was not wedding, and when I was asked I was clear: yes, I was planning to host a party for friends and that included some invited to my wedding and not. While our wedding was important, I did not stop socializing with all my friends, and some cousins, and this was a last long weekend, at a cottage for boating and swimming, with a show, and a concert, and other things I commonly did with these friends. Not hosted or attended by bridesmaids or other wedding related people. My party, planned and hosted by me for a variety of my friends and family. ( no sisters, SIL of FI , MIL or other strictly wedding folks I had not known for a long time.) Once you take the name bachelorette and banner wedding off it, since you are already planning it, ( not guest OH of BM) you are free to plan a weekend with those you wish.

View Quoted Comment My two best friends are planning the bachelorette and everyone including my mom and any others that I would invite would be splitting the cost equally (my share will be covered) and everyone I am talking about inviting is invited to my wedding ceremony and reception. I know many people who have invited friends/family that are not in the bridal party to the bachelorette.

View Quoted Comment Good to know someone else is also having their mother attend! My mom may be 61 but she can hang 😅 But yeah I think you are right, I believe my FH will have my back but I just hate having to put him in that position if it were to come to it. Like I said I might be overthinking it But I just needed some advice in case so thank you everyone!

If you don’t want her there then don’t invite her, especially if you think she will cause drama. That’s a weekend you’re supposed to have fun, not worry about people having attitudes. I personally wouldn’t invite her

She sounds like the type who will be dramatic no matter what you decide! Leave her at home! Lol

Inviting mothers to a bachelorette party is not the norm. So I don't think it would be offensive to not invite your FMIL. If you don't want her there, don't invite her.

If she isn't going to come, but she's going to create a fuss about not being invited, then maybe a polite invitation is in order, and you should take the risk?

But mothers and future MILs coming to the bachelorette party is a bit odd. It wouldn't occur to me to consider inviting either to my bachelorette.