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Just Said Yes September 2023

Do i have to invite my dads girlfriends children?

Kristi, on February 12, 2023 at 12:59 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Nothing against anyone but I’m trying to keep the wedding small. I’m already over my maximum amount of people and that’s with excluding some family members.
I feel like if I can’t invite some members of my family it wouldn’t be appropriate to invite my dad’s girlfriends adult children. They offered to foot the bill for them but it just doesn’t feel right to me.

Some back history, my mom passed a few years ago and the wedding has been kind of difficult knowing she won’t be present. My dad has also mentioned to me his present girlfriend gets weird about my mom being brought up.
I know it may seem like a polite thing to do to invite her kids, but I would prefer my dad’s girlfriend to take a back seat as much as possible during the wedding, so her wanting to invite her kids feels like she’s unknowingly crossing a boundary. She thinks it would be nice for them to meet the family, but I think they can do that on their own time…
Am I just bring a brat or is this justifiable?

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Latest activity by Paige, on February 14, 2023 at 6:07 PM

Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on February 12, 2023 at 3:28 AM
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It is not impolite to not invite her children. There is no relationship between you and them. If they are under 18 it is her responsibility to find childcare. You are under zero obligation to invite these people.
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Super October 2023
Alyssa · on February 12, 2023 at 11:03 AM
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I imagine you'll have a seat for your mom, or something to remember her by is dad's gf going to be okay with this? She needs to get over herself honestly.
Like Michelle said, you are under no obligation to invite children you have no relationship with. If she wants to host a party for her children to meet more "family" then she can host a party on a separate weekend.
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Super May 2022
Erin · on February 12, 2023 at 1:36 PM
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Agree with Alyssa. She really does need to get over herself. That is your *mom*….someone who raised you and will remain in your heart for the rest of your life. As a mom herself, I’m bewildered as to why it bothers her when your mom is brought up. Your wedding does not have to be used as an excuse for her children to “meet your family”. They can do that on their own time. If you have no relationship with them, you should not feel obligated to include them.
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Just Said Yes September 2023
Kristi · on February 12, 2023 at 1:38 PM
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I have a casual relationship with them. I’ve met them a few times and I enjoy them but I don’t like how it feels like I’m “required” to invite them.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on February 12, 2023 at 3:27 PM
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Like others have said, if she wants her children to meet others in your family then she can arrange a separate time for that to occur. Your wedding is not the time or place for her children to be making introductions. She also needs to learn to accept that your mom while unfortunately is gone she is always going to be important to you and I imagine also to your dad. Your girlfriend can't replace her no matter how much she tries. If she can't accept it then she has no business being with someone who has a deceased wife and children.
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Super October 2023
Kelly · on February 12, 2023 at 8:50 PM
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Weddings are not a time for meeting people, reunions, or mending relationships. If she feels that way, she should plan and pay for something herself. As other posters have said, your mom will always be your mom and the girlfriend needs to come to terms with that.
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Rockstar October 2023
Cece · on February 13, 2023 at 10:07 AM
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While it’s lovely your stepmother wants her children to meet your family, there is no need to feel obligated to make that time or place your wedding. If you aren’t close with them and don’t want to invite them, there is definitely no need to feel obligated to do so.
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Super July 2022
Shannon · on February 13, 2023 at 4:18 PM
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Frankly, your Dad should not have told that his girlfriend feels weird when your mom is brought up. That’s just hurtful and that’s her problem, not yours.

I would be hesitant to invite her at this point, as she lacks empathy and is selfish.
You are not wrong for not wanting to invite her children.
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Rockstar November 2054
Jacks · on February 13, 2023 at 4:48 PM
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Who is paying for the wedding? If it's you, then you have every right to determine that guest list.
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VIP October 2022
Paige · on February 14, 2023 at 6:07 PM
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Your dad's girlfriend is crossing some major boundaries, and your dad needs to take responsibility for nipping it in the bud. Your mom raised you, not her, and if dad's girlfriend has issues with your mom being brought up, she needs to reconsider dating someone who was widowed and who has a daughter who is now planning a wedding without her mom. Given that her and your dad aren't married yet, you have no actual relation to her kids, so this is similar to the decision on whether to invite anyone else's kids: completely YOUR CALL and acceptable either way. If you don't want to invite them, she can plan her own event for her kids to meet the family.
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Do i have to invite my dads girlfriends children?

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