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Beginner July 2022

Do i Have to Invite My Boss?

Laura, on August 30, 2021 at 12:46 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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I've worked at a small business for 3 years. I kind of have 3 bosses - my direct boss, her direct supervisor, and the owner of the company - all of whom I have daily contact with. They're all very nice and we all exchange gifts often and talk about our personal lives with each other - although we've never hung out outside of the office. However, my direct boss has hinted at the assumption that she's invited to the wedding and, to be honest, I really don't want to invite people I work with. If I invite her, I have to give her a +1 and then invite my two other bosses + their SO's. We are on a very tight budget, so an extra 6 people is a lot for us. We're also trying to keep it small for the sake of intimacy. Everyone else that is invited are people we really love and love us and I don't want to deal with the formality of having professional relationships at an otherwise very casual, family-and-friend-focused affair. Super lame, but I've mentioned before how we're having trouble affording the wedding, so I've been thinking, "What if I lie and tell her we've just decided to have immediate family only to cut costs?" Is that so bad/hard to pull off? Otherwise, what do I do??

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on August 31, 2021 at 12:07 PM

Super September 2022
Ashlee · on August 30, 2021 at 12:50 PM
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You can invite whoever you want, no one should get an invite solely because they're expecting one. I wouldn't say anything but if she asks, I would say "we've decided to keep it to family and close friends and it's going to be a small intimate gathering"
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on August 30, 2021 at 12:51 PM
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You don't have to lie, you can simply just tell her that you are having a small intimate wedding. Just because she is your boss doesn't mean that you are obligated to invite her to the wedding.
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Super October 2022
Jessi · on August 30, 2021 at 12:54 PM
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Honestly, I just would try to steer away from wedding talk with them and don't invite them. Don't bring it up to her and if she brings it up to you just say the guest limit was tight. You don't have to feel bad for not inviting them, especially if you guys don't have a relationship outside of work.
I also work for a small company and though I haven't hung out with anyone outside of work there have been people who have talked like they're getting invited. I just smile and don't say anything lol. I wouldn't be completely against inviting just my department but there are people in other departments that I'm closer to than some of the people in mine and it all just gets messy, so I've decided it's all or nothing, and we just won't invite them.
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VIP May 2022
Jasmine S. · on August 30, 2021 at 1:04 PM
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There is never an obligation to invite co-workers. It's annoying and rude of her to assume she's invited. I would stop discussing the wedding with them at all.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on August 30, 2021 at 2:34 PM
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Yes, to this. Just because she has hinted, doesn't mean you have to take the hint. But I also agree you should stop talking about your wedding at work.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on August 30, 2021 at 3:47 PM
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Yep, back off on all wedding talk. It's OK to say "we're keeping it small" if you're directly asked.
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Beginner July 2022
Laura · on August 30, 2021 at 4:50 PM
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Thanks All! It's relieving to see a consensus on the subject.
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Super July 2020
Cool · on August 31, 2021 at 10:06 AM
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I would just not invite her and keep wedding talk to a minimum with her. If she directly asks, Jacks gave a great suggestion. Inviting coworkers - let alone your boss - is only a good idea if you are truly friends outside of the office.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on August 31, 2021 at 12:07 PM
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Do you regularly socialize outside of work? If not, then don’t invite them.
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