Do i have to invite all of the aunts/uncles if…..

Only invite who you actually want there. Don’t invite people out of obligation. Because they always turn out to be the ones that are the biggest headaches for you on your wedding day. I think the real question is do you want your aunts and uncles there?? Just because your fiancé doesn’t want his there, doesn’t make a difference if you want yours there or not and to be honest I really don’t think he gets a say if you want your own aunts and uncles there. But if you don’t care about your aunts and uncles being there then I would suggest going with what your fiancé said and not inviting them. Is your mom paying for the wedding? Even if she is paying for the wedding, she still doesn’t get a say. Unfortunately for her the guest list does not automatically go to her just because she is offering to pay.

I don't think it has to be the same on both sides, you can invite yours regardless of his. But does he have a legitimate reason not to invite his? These people are family and it would be the polite thing to invite them unless there is some major family drama that you haven't told us about.

If you want your aunts and uncles there, definitely discuss with FH how important it is to you to invite them! I had no reservations inviting all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins (I couldn't imagine not inviting any of them, despite not being super close to the majority of them). Meanwhile, FH's dad doesn't want any of his family, except for a select few, invited because they're just a bucket full of drama. The number of family invites you both have don't have to be even!

We were in a similar situation but luckily my FH and I came to an agreement. I was not planning on inviting any aunts and uncles either to avoid family drama. I was upset about not inviting my Aunt D and her husband (she is like my godmother and we share a birthday so I have always been her 'birthday girl'). My FH really hates one of his uncles and is not close with any of the others.



My mom offered to pay for the whole wedding with the one stipulation that she her 3 siblings and their spouses be invited. My FH and I agreed to accept the money since I wanted an excuse to invite my aunts and uncles anyway. Also, it was only 6 extra people added to our list. Now we are inviting my Aunt D and the other aunts and uncles from my Mom's side and my FH does not feel obligated to invite the uncle he hates. FH's mom will be upset about her relatives not being invited (she knows FH doesn't like them but to her that is not a reason to leave them off the list). If his mom pushes, we are using my mom and the money as a scapegoat for why ANY aunts and uncles are there.

You and your FH need to find a compromise here; why doesn't he want your aunts and uncles there? Does he just want a tiny wedding? You both should put together your ideal guest lists, come together and find a middle ground you're both happy with.

If you want certain family members at your wedding then your fiancé should be understanding. He shouldn't be dictating who in your family receives an invite. But I do thing it could potentially cause a lot of drama if you invite 1 of your aunts/uncles, but not the rest unless there is a good reason not to invite one. For example, my husband invites all of his aunts/uncles except for 1 because he has been disowned by my husband's entire family and if we would've invited him none of my husband's family would've attended. Also does your fiancé have a valid reason for not wanting to invite any?

Your FH wanting to exclude his own aunts and uncles is not a valid reason to exclude yours. However, if you're going to invite one aunt or uncle, you should probably invite all aunts and uncles of that particular side. Invite in circles, of any given side.

Make a list people who you can’t imagine the day without. Those are sent invites for sure. Make another list of people who are obligatory invites whom you are not close to and would only be invited to please others who aren’t getting married. Anyone on the second list does not get an invitation but you can meet up with them on another occasion as you wish. Never feel obligated to invite Aunt/Uncle B or C if you are not close to them but Aunt/Uncle A is a non negotiable invitation.

I think it's fine to only invite that one aunt. She's your godmother, so that puts her in a separate category and you can say that's why you're inviting her rather than that it's because you care more about her. It would be different if you wanted to invite 3 or 4 of your mom's siblings, because then you would be specifically excluding the others, but in this case you're just inviting your godmother and you only have one of those.

I am dealing with a similar situation. This is my 2nd wedding and we are doing a small intimate party. I do not care for my most of my mom's family so I only invited one cousin who is local to my venue so I felt I needed to and she is my favorite. My mom invited my Aunt when we first set the date. She assumed I was inviting everyone. However, my mom had a stroke a few years ago and doesn't remember this. My mom believes I announced it on Facebook which I did NOT do. So mom believes it's my responsibility to tell my aunt she can't come. We have gone around and around about this. I never speak to my aunt, and feel like my mom should just say it's a small immediate family only event. She told her I couldn't afford invites. 🙉 Then my mom informs me she is bringing my aunt as a plus one. I would let this go and just invite her but she has huge issues with the cousin I invited and I don't want the drama. So I guess you have to decide if the fallout is worth it AFTER the wedding. I will rarely see my mom's family so I will deal with the fallout. Lol good luck family dynamics can be so difficult.

I can only offer this ,just food for thought. My brothers son ( my brother wasn’t speaking to me because I couldn’t make it up to see his wife after a mild stroke, I have physical handicaps) was married recently and my sister mentioned that our nephew was getting married and she KNEW I hadn’t received an invitation but she did . I mentioned to my sister that it was hurtful because our brother had recontacted me 8 months before his son’s wedding and apologized so I thought everything was good between us . During that time I was invited to a family picnic the same brother was planning and I told him I would do my very best to make it that day and to please keep in mind I couldn’t give him a definite answer due to my handicap but I would do everything I could do to go . The next week he texted me and canceled the picnic giving no reason why. I was disappointed because I was going to try my best to get there . And I haven’t physically SEEN my brother in 3 years! Family members ( our older sister and my brothers wife ) are now putting up their wedding photos from yesterday and remarking on what a lovely time all had and the fun that they had , and pictures of my brother, our sister and our nephew together.
I was never even asked to my nephews wedding ( and to be fair I haven’t seen him in 6 or 7 years through no fault of my own- HE is not handicapped) and I am very hurt. I am 67 years old and they both know ( my brother and sister) that I’ve had a recent scare in September) and had to see a cardiologist. I thought , and had hopes that my younger brother and my relationship was repaired and we both forgave each other ( his wife doesn’t like me) for ANY misunderstandings. I don’t know if I should send a wedding gift , seeing I was not invited or do nothing and leave it alone. This reply is just an FYI that families are complicated and people are human and DO feel hurt when one blood aunt is invited and one left out completely. I am just one more relative and they KNOW it would have just been me by myself if I WOULD have gone if I had sent back an rsvp saying I would be there , for something like a wedding, as opposed to a picnic that they canceled . I feel my older sister is gloating ( because she IS like that ) about her being asked and me feeling left out. I know it’s difficult 😞. Is it hurtful to a re- newed relationship with a brother- absolutely even though it’s his sons wedding I know they invited aunts and CAN afford one other aunt too