Do i give a plus one on the invitation or verbally advise of this?

Plus ones and significant others are not the same. A plus one is a truly random stranger.

If they acknowledge them as relationships, then you should too. It’s not a good look to ask someone to celebrate your relationship while discounting theirs. Put “And guest” on the envelope. Have an option to rsvp for 2 and hopefully you will find out their name at that point for your escort cards. If not, then call them to find out.

Plus Ones for singles are always optional and many people do skip them for space and budget concerns. More often than not, the truly single guest knows others in attendance so they aren’t completely alone and unable to enjoy themselves.

For the people in long-term relationships, I would make every effort to find out their SO's name. This is exactly what Facebook is for! As for the people in new relationships, I would go with option B. If the relationship ends It could be a bit awkward to get an invite that says "and Guest" or their ex's name.

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That's exactly why I'm a bit like 'mmmm do I put their name or not?!'.

Call and ask for the name. Put the name on the invite. If they're broken up by the wedding, the SO will presumably not come. I honestly think it's a little crass to say, "If you're still together by then, your partner is welcome to come!"


It's implying they might break up

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I would never actually tell them what you've said!

If I don't include their names expressly on the invitation, when giving out the invitation in person I would probably say something more along the lines of "I am so sorry it does not expressly name [partner], we had our invitations printed before we knew you were a couple but please rest assured that [partner] is indeed invited to the wedding and we hope you two can join us".

I can remember before I was married to my now husband and one friend sending me an invitation with +guest and because they knew Brandon I took offense his name wasn’t on the card. I know you do not know these people but I would make a point to ask, or FB stalk because I’m sure many are right on your friends’ profiles as information for you. I agree with only the guests who are in relationships (not plus ones) as that gets really expensive, and fast!

Honestly the "etiquette" here is that you do not need to invite +1s if you do not personally know them and have a relationship with them. If it is a cousin with a 2 month relationship with someone you've never even met, you do not have to invite them. If it is your cousin who has been in a 9 year relationship but unmarried, you definitely should invite the other person.

I have a similar situation because many of my family have broken up with their SO's, so I removed them from the guestlist. My reception site cancelled on us in April, so we opted for a backyard reception, which works out with the smaller headcount. I am finding out there are new SO's in the picture, but I don't know and haven't met any of them. Only one cousin has reached out asking if they could bring his new gf. Because he and I have been close throughout the years, I agreed to allow his new gf, but she is going to be "+ guest" on the invite.

Plus ones and guests are different things. For anyone in a relationship, every effort should be made to send the invitation with the significant other’s name on it. Just ask them for their names. That way, you’re also inviting a specific person, not just “and guest”, which 1) is polite and 2) then you’re not telling people they can bring whoever they want!

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. And falls in line with proper etiquette