Do i ask fiancés brothers girlfriend to be in the wedding?

Is she one of your closest friends? If they break up, will you still be close to her? It sounds like you have your mind made up already, but I wouldn’t have anyone in my wedding that I had a circumstantial relationship with.

I think the main question here is how would you feel about it in the future if they did hypothetically break up. Like assume they’re together during your wedding, she’s a bridesmaid, and then a few months later they break up. Would you still stay friends with her? Would you regret having her in the wedding?



I would be nervous if you’re basing your decision solely on thinking that they will *probably* stay together, because then you may regret having her in all your photos if they don’t.

If you feel close to her and want her beside you, go for it! But judge it on her as a person and your relationship with her, not the fact that she's dating someone in the family and will probably marry him.

Like others said, make your decision based only on your friendship with her. You never know what could happen with their relationship but if you see your friendship continuing regardless of whether or not she’s dating your BIL you should ask her.

If you want her there and are a very close friend, then your decision is made.

There any many other ways to included her in the wedding without having her as a bridesmaid. You never know what the future is going to hold I would give her a different job.


It's all up to how you feel in heart tho. If you feel that close to her then carpe diem!

I love my brothers girlfriend. They have been together for a while, not sure how long. They did break up for a little while, which made me weary.
Anyway, I wanted to ask her to be bridesmaid because like you I feel like eventually they will get married and I enjoy hanging out with her. In the end I decided against it because there is a chance the might break up and I know we wouldnt stay In touch if they did and then she’d be in all my pictures. (Heck my sister and her fiancé broke up and he’s in my pictures now 🤦‍♀️). So, I asked her to get ready with me that morning. She was still included but not in a permanent way should they break up. Just an idea

I don't much see asking someone to be bridesmaid as a strategic move toward a better or closer relationship. Pushing close too soon can backfire, putting you in a situation where you expect things from her, same as long time friends, which causes friction. and not having been friends long enough to hold the friendship together if you disagree. If they breakup and brother does not want to see her face for a year, is your friend feeling for her strong enough to say, she is in my wedding party. If you don't want to be around her, don't come to the wedding? To groom's brother? If you would keep her over him, ask. If you wouldn't, because it would upset groom if brother stayed away, and you are not all that attached, then don't ask. Show friendship down the line by offering to give an engagement party for the two of them, something family or very good friends do for a couple. Or later, since any good friend or family can do a shower, it is not a wedding party only thing, offer to give her a small shower. Or help other hostesses. And for now, just do more getting to know you friend bond things. Do a project together.

View Quoted Comment Tbh none of my four bridesmaids would call me their “ride or die friend” but I’m close to all of them. The girlfriend is the type of girl who’s a social butterfly and has 20 best friends which already makes wanting to ask her intimidating as I know if she were to get engaged to my brother in law she would not return the favor of asking me to be in their wedding party. If she’s still around at that time I think I’ll just ask her to get ready with us but not have to stand up their and be in all the photos so there’s no obligations for her.

I would say no personally dont ask her only because if they break up you will have her in the photos forever. I know they are on track to be married but things change

It might be better if you could include her in another way, such as having her get ready with you before the ceremony. If she ends up marrying your brother-in-law, you would be in her wedding and you can have those memories later on.