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Carol
Super April 2024

Do Bridesmaids Pay for Housing?

Carol, on January 25, 2018 at 7:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 20
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So I am getting married in PA in my hometown. I on an EXTREMELY frugal budget ($6k) and am trying to crunch numbers. I am having a bridal party of 8 bridesmaids, and am trying to make it as easy and cheap on them as possible as well.

I’ll have a bachelorette party and a small bridal shower, but am not asking all the bridesmaids to come to town (here in Florida where I currently live).

So the weekend of the wedding I am trying to figure out where to put the girls the night before the wedding and night after, and was hoping to pay for that as well.

I have a family friend that is willing to rent her house to us for $30 per person per night. Is it stingy to ask the BMs to pay for one of the nights? I’m seeing some brides say they have to pay for their own hotels, but personally I have not been in one that housing was not provided for me.

Im just trying to cut costs as much as possible for myself and everyone so far the BMs costs are:

-$100-180 dress
-heels of their choice ($30 maybe?)
-travel to my hometown; $200-500 depending if they fly or drive.

They are are doing their own hair and makeup and I plan to get snacks and food for the weekend of so they don’t have to buy that! Just wondering what your thoughts are or experiences as bridesmaids?

What were your highest annoyances as a bridesmaid and what would have made things better for you?

20 Comments

Latest activity by Cassidy, on February 2, 2018 at 10:29 PM
  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    Well we are inviting 70 total including our bridal party and their plus ones (only a handful actual have a plus one)- expecting 50-60 total. Other than flowers and housing this doesn’t matter and the amount of BMs isn’t negotiable unfortunately!
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  • R
    Savvy November 2018
    Raena ·
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    I have a similar budget and the same amount of bridesmaids. I have 2 that decided that a kid free weekend was worth the hotel cost for them so they covered it themselves.( I offered for them to stay in my parents empty rental) I decided to try and stretch the budget in another area to cover professional make up or manicures instead. I plan to use students in school to help keep the cost reasonable with a great tip.
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    Where are their plus 1s staying?
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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    At almost $300 per night, that better be one luxurious house with all the amenities. As a BM, I'd hate sharing a house with 7 other people. I'd be in a hotel.

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    The number of bridesmaids matters because you have to buy gifts for your bridal party.

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  • Valerie
    Devoted September 2018
    Valerie ·
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    I’ve been a bridesmaids a few times and never assumed that the accommodations was being paid for by the bride. 30/night is very reasonable. I’d mention the option to the girls to stay at the house if they’d like to as you’d love them to spend the night before but that they can also stay elsewhere (hotel, their own home if local, etc). It’s thoughtful that you’re thinking about their accommodations but I don’t think it’s necessary for you to figure out where they stay both nights.
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  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    Plus ones would stay local, or in the house for the guys. I think if the bridal party had to choose between a $100 hotel room or $30 a night they would choose the house. But I am wondering if it’s rude to ask. Number of bridal party memebers do not matter to me other than flowers (we are doing small DIY bouquets) and gifts, which will most likely be a heartfelt note and an accessory.
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  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    I wouldn’t choose to stay away from my plus 1, so if that meant more money on a hotel, that’s what I would do.

    It’s not rude to ask, but don’t be surprised if some of them don’t want to.
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  • LaraLouM
    Super May 2019
    LaraLouM ·
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    I would not want to stay separated from my plus 1. Just keep in mind they may feel the same way. What kind of house is this you are talking about them staying in? Do they each get their own bedroom? Are there enough showers and bathrooms for everyone? Are towels and thing like that all provided for that number of people?
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  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    Thanks ladies for your help- I would give them the option to stay with me. As far as I know at the moment only 5-6 would be bringing a plus one. If groomsmen or bridesmaids who have SO not already in the bridal party they can totally stay with them, not a problem. But if the second night (the night of the wedding) people want to stay in the house again they would pay for themselves.
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    Accessories for the wedding do not count as gifts, unsure if that was your plan.

    I would let the accommodations go. Tell them what time to show up in the morning and they will figure it out. Personally I rather sleep with my SO as a bridesmaid in someone else's wedding, I can get a good nights sleep and be fresh and ready to go in the morning.

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  • J
    Dedicated November 2018
    Jessica ·
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    My girls will all pay their own way. I’ve never heard of someone paying for bridal party housing
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  • GeekGurl
    Devoted April 2019
    GeekGurl ·
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    I was the maid of honor at my BFF wedding about 5 years ago. I had to pay for everything. My shoes, my dress, my makeup, my hotel stay. It was a destination wedding. I was happy to do it though because I loved my friend.

    Also, to keep costs down on our end I drove up with one of the other bridesmaids and share a room.

    I think you are fine asking them to pay for one night, you could ask them to pay for the whole thing but if you say "Hey, so I got a house for you all and it's going to be $30 each" I don't think it will be that much to ask.

    The only thing that bothered me as a maid of honor was that my BFF made us all dance to try to encourage other people to dance. She had hired a DJ because the FH said that all of his family would want to dance. As things turned out, most of his family didn't come because of one reason or another. Do not try to make you BM dance to encourage other people to dance, especially if they don't have shoes to change into. Smiley winking Smiley xd
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  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    Lolol I hate dancing and have been in the same boat with being forced to dance. My FH and I were just in a wedding and sat out the dancing most of the night because we don’t know how to and I don’t know how to keep rhythm! At one point the DOC made a big scene trying to get us to dance and EVERYONE was staring and I was mortified! I did not appreciate that at all.
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  • GeekGurl
    Devoted April 2019
    GeekGurl ·
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    That is awful! This is why the FH and I are not having dancing. My dad asked about the father daughter dance and I told him we could do it if he wanted to but he said he was totally happy NOT to do it. Lol.

    I’m hoping that food and wedding toasts will be enough entertainment for everyone.
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  • Carol
    Super April 2024
    Carol ·
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    Litterally same. About everything. 100%
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  • Cassidy
    VIP October 2017
    Cassidy ·
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    Yes. Simply put. Your bridal party is huge. I understand these people are important to you- but hopefully as much as all the other guests in the wedding. On a budget of 6k- you want them to stay in one place- you pay. But yes, it’s nice to offer it to them. I had that many people in my whole wedding party and did it on 5k( including the groom’s side). So good luck
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