Dj problems

Have your FH call him if they are friends. This is why they say hire a professional and not a friendor. DJ is a pretty big part of the flow of the reception and the entertainment. My DJ said we will meet 1 month before the wedding to go over details because otherwise people change their mind and songs multiple times. I would suggest have FH call him and set up a meeting about a month before your date.

Make FH contact him and get a contract.

Do you have a contract and have you paid a deposit? Why don't you try calling him and request a meeting so that you can go over the details. Then follow up with an email recapping what you discussed at the meeting. Make sure FH attends as well so that he can see for himself if this DJ is taking your wedding seriously or not. Sorry to hear this is causing you so much stress.

I totally think this is a problem. It's not like you can wait until the day of and see if he shows and then take care of things; you are putting your trust in him ... and you don't trust him.

Ugh ... there's a difference between disagreeing on a style and just not trusting someone. Because you don't even trust this guy AND it's your wedding, this needs to be taken care of immediately.

If it were me I would 1) tell your FH what you are doing. Block out everything he's going to say. 2) immediately call this DJ and cancel him. The less said the better but cancel him. 3)tell your FH what you did. 3)book a pro even if you do it on your own.

ooooooooh boy ... I would like to see other people respond.

ETA : a DJ is too important to not trust. Your FH is going to be pissed but you don't trust his friend. Can he (your FH) relate to that? Is there someone he doesn't trust and imagine that person in charge of something the equivalent of?

Have your FH reach out to him. If he doesn't get back to you within a week (of YOUR original message), book someone else.

This is why we don't use friendors. I would start inquiries with professionals now, so you're not scrambling come Monday

Wow, I'm sorry to hear about the stress, I hope everything has worked out by now. Incentives are incredibly important and whether your friendor came full priced, cheap or free, if he / she doesn't have some kind of incentive to give you the service you need, there will be resentment felt on all sides and things can fall apart.

Make sure all of your vendors incentives are in alignment with YOUR INTERESTS, whether that's through professional / community reputation, friendship, integrity or monetary reward. Not having at least one of these will guarantee that they will walk away from the situation. Also, be sure that they don't feel leveraged, pressured, abused or taken advantage of from previous experiences as these can peculate in a stressful situation.

I hope this helps with seeing the problem clearer!