Divorced Parents: Inviting the Girlfriend, Who Broke Apart Their Marriage (Help!!)

I wouldn't invite her out of respect for your mother because it sounds like she put her through hell and back. Remember, It takes two to tango.

She stalked your mother. NO.

Etiquette says you invite a long term significant other of someone you know.

Etiquette goes out the window when that person harassed, stalked, and acted like a crazy person. I understand inviting her to keep the peace and especially if Dad is paying for the wedding, but if even your dad is sometimes on/off with her then it's probably best she stay home. (And if you don't invite her and she goes crazy about not being invited, perhaps security might be needed your special day.)

My cousin was in the same boat as you. She did not invite the girlfriend and told his dad to suck it up or GTFO.

OK - my take on this is a bit different but I always get a little hot under the collar when I see the other woman being villianized and the philandering husband gets a free pass.

She did not break up the marriage, your father did - singlehandledly. HE CHOSE to cheat and be unfaithful. If he hadn't acted upon that idea he would not have cheated. The other woman is not innocent by any means but she didn't break up the marriage. She didn't drug him and have sex and make him unfaithful. He pursued her, lied to her about being married and she went major Froot Loop when she found out.

My first husband cheated like a rabid dog in heat during our marriage. None of those women broke up my marriage - it was all him. He CHOSE to break up our family. At least he didn't marry any of his affairs.

Since this woman stalked your mother and exhibited threatening behavior she should not be invited. I am still trying to figure out why dad is getting a free pass here, but that is up to you and your family dynamics. He put this whole thing in motion and now wants CrazyPants invited? Nope, but based on her behavior towards mom, not because she was the other woman.

I invited my dad's girlfriend that he left my mom for. I have a good relationship with them both. However, my dad's girlfriend has said she would bow out if necessary.

For your situation, with the harassment, I would tell my my dad that I'm deeply sorry she will not be invited, and I hope that he understands.

@Jeleebeenz she never said her father is off the hook. What should she do... Not invite him to the wedding???? From having a similar situation, I see her pain and frustration. Her father will always be her father. She doesn't have to agree or disagree with what he did or how he handled the situation. All she can do is try to find a way to mend her relationship with him. I didn't speak to my dad for several months after he left my mom for another woman. In my situation she knew he was married and knew my mom well.

I say don't invite her if you have no relationship with her.

If you do, seat them at the opposite side of the room from your mother and hope that she can be on her best behavior. I doubt she would make a scene in front of the entire family and a bunch of strangers.

I had a similar situation where I had two friends who went through a particularly ugly breakup but I was still close with both of them (the girl was my cousin and MOH). Since there were a ton of people there they just politely ignored each other.

In your situation, I wouldn't invite her. Aside from the affair that broke up your parent's marriage that fact that she stalked & harrassed your mother would seal that deal for me.

Ok. Here's what I did (similar situation). I sat my dad down and talked to him. It was very important to me to have him there, with his full attention on me (sounds selfish but if there's a selfish biotch who's there and has record of driving others batty, she doesn't need to be invited). I told him that with recent circumstances, my day would be best suited without the new girlfriend there. It would cause less stress and awkward moments, which is not how I want my day to be remembered in memories or in pictures. He understands now that it's not to slight him and new gf in any way, it's just to make the day easier on everyone -- as it would be extremely awkward. Hope that helps.

He should take some accountability and realize it's inappropriate for her to come, I would NOT want her there. You did say you don't have a relationship with his gf but with him, you do. So, he comes to your wedding alone or with any siblings you may have....it's a small price to pay for him....her coming could be a large price to pay for you, you shouldn't have to. I have a friend who got taken to the cleaners in his divorce because of his infidelity, I told him, that's the screwing you get for the screwing you got. This is minor in comparison. I wouldn't bend on this if I were you. It's his cross to bear. He needs to be there for you.

I wouldnt and just explain that its your wedding and your wish is just your parents your family and the day is going to be about you and not drama and you dont want to be wondering all day if everyone is ok you just want to enjoy yourself .

My dad cheated on my mom and married the woman he cheated with. Believe me, even if I was on speaking terms with my dad (we were close up until the divorce) I wouldn’t invite her. This is me talking in regards to my dad, but similar situation. First off all - this man completely broke his marriage vows. How serious could he take mine? Second, I wouldn’t insult my mom or make her uncomfortable by having him and his wife there. Third of all, bad juju lol. I don’t want his bad luck at my wedding. I hope that helps!